Amen To That

Amen to that we say

As our path of time marches on

Amen to that we say

When the night returns to dawn

Amen to that we say

When friendships fade or fray

Amen to that we say

When our heartbreaks go away

We can say amen with glee when time has healed all wounds

We can say amen with glee as we march to our own sweet tunes

We can say amen with glee when we take that great giant leap

We can say amen with glee as we wake up from our sleep

To say amen is freeing

To say amen is fair

But never say amen unless 

Your soul is ready, please beware

And so, it is … amen

A Father's Day Tribute

Today is the day we honor our fathers. Last year I wrote a tribute to my father and I want to re-share that story but with updates as life has changed over the last year.  So following is my updated tribute to the greatest man I've ever known my daddy, Richard Ontiveros.  

Daddy grew up on a ranch in the Tepusquet hills surrounding Santa Maria, California.  His father had decided he wanted to be a rancher and had inherited some land the family had been granted by the Spanish government.  The Ontiveros family was a founding family in California, coming up by horse back from Mexico in 1781.  Juan Pacifico Ontiveros, my 3rd great grandfather, was granted Rancho San Juan Cajon de Santa Ana and later bought Rancho Tepusquet in Santa Barbara and San Luis Obispo counties.  That land was parceled off to various family members and my grandfather, Kencho Ontiveros was granted several acres to do with what he pleased. 

Kencho married my grandmother Lee Lancaster on February 7, 1914 in San Franciso.  He brought his beautiful bride to Santa Maria, built a home for her and there they lived until that house burned down when Dad was maybe ten.  Two children were raised on that land, my Aunt Eleanore and my daddy, Dick as he preferred to be called. 

The Depression hit the family hard.  Dad always said that his father would give away extra food and supplies to neighboring families who were not quite as fortunate.  The Ontiveros family however, did without quite a bit.  One story was Grandma would buy a Snickers bar and cut it into four pieces, that was the Saturday night treat.  Among other crops, Grandpa raised what are known as Santa Maria Pink Beans.  They were best picked when the morning air was still cool and damp.  The family of four would be out in the fields picking those beans at 3am, before the actual farming day would begin or in the case of the children, school day.  Those 3am bean picking mornings are what instilled in Dad, his tremendous work ethic and sense of responsibility.

After the fire, Dad and Grandpa rebuilt that house.  I saw it one time, it was small, had running water and indoor plumbing.  It also had electricity.  Dad always said the he helped install the wiring in that house when he was about twelve.  He worked as one my grandfather's field hands during the summer.  The last week of summer, before the harvest and school starting, is when Dad got time off.  He worked hard all summer long, so that last week of summer was his play time.

Sunday morning December 7, 1941 was the day that lived in infamy.  Dad was attending Santa Maria Junior College at the time, with aspirations of being a woodworking/shop teacher and attending Ohio State.  When Pearl Harbor was bombed, Dad joined the navy and for the next 4 years, he was on various ships in the Pacific.  Those years, he always claimed, were the best of his life.  He grew up, left the ranch as a boy and returned in 1945 as a man.  Dad never did attend college, he took care of his parents after the war.

My parents married in 1949.  I was born in 1955 and my sister in 1958.  We witnessed a traditional marriage between two people who loved and were devoted to each other.  They were our role models, our security and were the two best people we would ever know.  We saw Daddy going to work every morning, come home every night and love our mother and us with undying devotion.  Daddy devoted the sixty four years of marriage to making our mother happy and comfortable and to us he gave us his love.

Daddy's been gone 9 years next month and I miss him every, single day.  There are days where I'm simply glad he's not here now to witness the state of the world as he'd be in continual angst.  From where he sits now, I can see him shaking his head and saying, "how did this happen?"  The last time I spoke to Daddy, we said we loved each other, two days later he was gone.  I know in my heart, he's still with me, walking with me on my path and hopefully saying; "Terry, you've done me proud."  

So, Happy Father's Day Daddy, I miss and love you.

Lessons In Divine Love

The month of June has finally rolled around and my first year in Idaho is complete.  What a year it has been, to begin again and walk my new path.  This journey called life has been almost more than I could ever have comprehended.  Who I am today is a completely different woman than the one who arrived here in 2020.  My broken heart, loss of my spiritual center and my soul have healed.  Today I am whole, perfect in God's eyes and complete again.  My life's purpose is still being defined but I can truly say, this year of growth will forever be one I will look back on in awesome wonder.  Lessons of all types were learned and this month, I'd like to explore a few of those lessons with love.

Boundaries have been established and I'm sticking to them.  We all need boundaries and no one needs to intrude into our space without our permission.  The overly verbose friend or concerned acquaintance is well intended but when it comes down to brass tacks, we all must sort our lives out for ourselves.  I have found that I need to be more mindful of other's feelings and sensitivities and I expect the same in reverse.  Sometimes we all need to take a step back, explore the situation at hand and erect those boundaries in order to preserve our peace of mind.  This can be done with love, sensitivity and caring on both sides of the equation.   

Secondly, we all need opportunities where we can grow and learn new thoughts and ideas.  These opportunities may not work for anyone else and that's okay as we should only try to please ourselves.    Detoxing, listening to my higher self and the Divine are what truly matter.  Over these past twelve months, I have begun reading different types of literature, listening to different types of speakers and thinking more clearly for myself not the way society shall have us think.  These ideas and thoughts have resonated with me, taken me back to the days of my awakening thirty years ago, and have opened so many new opportunities.  I thank God daily for the lessons learned and the divine love I re-found in my heart.

Third (I have discussed this in other blogs but it's important), have time carved out every day to meditate and pray.  Set your soul at ease by journaling (I know I say this constantly but it works).  My journals over the last year reflected quite a bit of my soul journey but have now been replaced with positive narrative.  I have a corner in my bedroom where I mediate, write and read.  I call this my "Thinking Corner" but it's much, much more.  This sacred space brings me peace and a sense of calm. We all need our privacy, quiet space where we can think, read or play Words With Friends.  It's so important as we travel our life path, we utilize these spaces and learn to rest, grow and find peace of mind. These spaces should never be intruded upon without our permission (boundaries).  

Fourth and final, learn how to be alone.  It's amazing to me how many people can not be alone! I lived alone for many years before I got married and I'm back to being alone again for the most part.  Now that I have found "me" again, I have found I'm really all I need.  Yes, I love mixing it up with others, attending dinner parties and gatherings but when I'm ready to shut my doors, erect my boundaries and turn my mind off, being alone is a slice of heaven.  I even turn off my phone notifications as when I'm ready for my quiet, I do not want to be disturbed.  We must learn to live in our own reality, make decisions without anyone else's input, and feel confident   When we have taken that profound step in our life's journey I believe, we fully have matured and found ourselves.  Please do not rely on anyone else for your happiness and protect yourself, as no one can do this better than you. Yes people do need people but ultimately we live in our own skins so we must get used to it.

In conclusion, I'm not sure I'm going to continue this blog in this same format. Honestly, I'm  done with my therapeutic ramblings and ready to make a change and branch out to short stories, topical subjects and some spirituality.  I joined a writer's group close to home so I need material to present to the group during our monthly get togethers.  Wearing my heart on my sleeve is over now as I'm healed and does not bode well for reading out loud to my new friends.   I have promised God I will continue my journey and walk my path with integrity but it's time for a much needed change of pace.  So tune in, we'll see where this blog leads us but until then I'll let Spirit lead the way and claim it as good.

On Sunday September 19, 1943, The Daily Word published this affirmation: "Great peace have I because the spirit of God gives me peace."  "Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the Lord!" Psalm 31:24

One of my newest roses