In the spring of 2020, I started this blog as therapy of sorts. Covid was in full force, masking was the new fashion statement and I was trying to put my life in order so to speak. I wrote my first blog titled, My Healing House and every word in that blog still rings true today. 72 blogs later, here I am, blessing my home in Idaho and making plans to begin again. Over these last few months I have been in living in a whirlwind. I went to Europe, turned 69 and found once again, doors closed forcing me to make life decisions and changes I would not have imagined a year ago.
This house healed me in some ways and opened up new wounds to make me think that Idaho is no longer my home. The one and only moved out, 2800 miles away to a new life. All kids need to do this in order to grow up, mature and start their lives independent from their parents. Sadly however, this mom grew very lonely as we only saw each other once a year. Yes, we talk every day but it's not like being in the same town. It’s hard living somewhere where there is no family and friends are a revolving door. Holidays spent alone or having to travel long distances is not fun. I haven't had a Christmas tree in two years and decorating is minimal. Why, I won't be here anyway!
I found I really don't fit in, in Idaho. My beliefs are very different than the beliefs that so many people here grew up with, and still hold dear. Yes, politically I'm conservative but the rest of my thought process and ideas don't jell with many here. I'm very independent, I don't need a lot of people around me and there are some who thought differently. I love the outdoors but I'm not a hiker, biker, camping, or fishing kind of gal. It's not me, I simply don't fit in.
Relationships changed here in Idaho. I moved here sad and today the weights on my heart have lifted. I keep telling myself I'm whole, perfect and complete, but I don't always feel that way. I keep reassuring myself I'm more than enough, but my heart keeps telling me differently. I'm finding with the winter drawing near, the seasonal depression is coming back. I thought I left that behind in Seattle! Therefore, I'm starting a new season, beginning again one more time. Ecclesiastes 3 says, "for everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven." I'll find that new purpose in this new season I'm embarking on.
So, what's the next season I'm sure you're all asking yourselves? After thinking, meditating and researching, I'm going to move down to Florida. I’ll be close to the one and only, 30 minutes to be exact. It's a bright red state, lots of sunshine, and 9 months out of the year it’s just lovely. I've been assured that all the "new builds" are hurricane proof and alligators live near large bodies of water. Yes there will be lizards in the grass and some sweltering days, but that's what air conditioning was invented for! I have hope that my potted plants will grow for 12 months and I can nurse my flower garden without winterizing. I’m excited to not have black ice or my sprinklers blown out so they won't freeze and crack. Down parkas will be stored in the back of the closet and boots will be a fashion item and not for warmth. Imagine wearing gym shorts and sandals year round and damn I can wear a dress in December!
Some say Florida is where retirees go to die. Not me, I’ve already got plans. Since I will be moving into a 55 and older community, they’ll be plenty of activities in store. I’ll be moving in the summer months, so I can get my house unpacked before Thanksgiving. I’ve booked a solo trip to Europe in late October and airfare to London is cheaper from Orlando than Boise. I’m not a Disney girl but we will hear the fireworks every night and I can have my morning coffee on my patio in December. This is all starting to sound better and better as I type.
I plan to start doing volunteer work where my one and only works. The residents go to mass on Thursdays, so I will accompany them along with volunteering for holiday events and their regular day trips. My new community has plenty of outings and activities as well, so hopefully I'll blend into regular get togethers and I'm hoping for a water aerobics class! It all sounds good, nothing like I've experienced here and hey, a weekend trip to the Keys sounds like a plan!
Therefore, here I go again, beginning again. The cracks in my heart will heal eventually with a new life that is in store for the next 25 years. I am imagining my 70th birthday in Florida with all the oldies and of course the one and only. I’m going to miss Idaho, the friends I’ve made, my yard, and of course, my gym rat friends. But life is in a constant state of change and this is my time to make a change. I'll keep this blog active as I move forward and check in regularly when I get settled in Orlando. I'll have plenty to report between now and when I leave. Right now, it's time to downsize and purge, out with the old, in with the new. I keep reminding myself, when one door closes, a new one opens. That's the flow of life.
