The Who's and Why's of Life

This week I have four "Why Questions" and four "Who" questions.  My take on the Why is my take only of course.  The Who questions are for pure speculation.  Both sets of questions beg for reader comments and I can't wait to read the comments!    

WHY do bad things happen to good people?

I ask the most difficult question first as we all ask that one from time to time.  My answer is there is no good answer.  I just trust God that his ways are not always our way and the ultimate outcome is our best answer.  God will use us as his tool as we work through these difficult circumstances.  We must have faith and trust in our God.

WHY is there so much unrest in the world today?

A dark force is blanketing our world, this I feel strongly about.  This dark force is causing civil disobedience, strife, damage to personal and public property, murder and anything else one can think of that is obviously wrong.  I believe that by eliminating God from our society is why.  When we as a collective, decide that God has no place in public discussion, then this opens the celestial door for evil to creep in like a sticky fog, enveloping our lives.  We need to accept this and allow God back in or we as a society are doomed.

WHY should we believe what the Bible says is fact?

Why not?  The time tested truths in the Bible are the fabric that has held society together for thousands of years.  Some may say these truths are antiquated or false.  Societies have based their laws and structure on Biblical truths.  When a society stays the course of Biblical truth, it survives.  That's a simple fact.  My pastor friends may have something to add...

WHY do we sometimes fall in love with the wrong people?

Well, who knows really.  I as a general habit, have fallen in love with the right people. I keep reading articles and watching on Dateline, that humans can sometimes make bad choices.   Maybe when we think too strongly with our hearts, not too much with our heads, is when we make a bad choice.  Lesson be learned, watch for the warning signs, look for very little baggage (we all have some) and avoid drama at all costs.  Someone who is always pulling our strings, tripping us up to fall or is simply not our intellectual equal is going to be someone that is most likely wrong for us.  Women and men both look for a pretty face but frankly, it's not all about looks but what's in the heart.  A pure heart leads to a beautiful soul.  We should all be looking for beautiful souls.  Beautiful souls will carry us through the tests of time.

WHO is God?

The question of who is God, Spirit, the Universe has been around for millions of years but who is God really?   God is the creator of all life, all the Universe, all of mankind.  God is our one source for all good.  I rely on God for everything.  I meditate every morning, pray and ask God continually to heal me and to use me for his good.  I pray to God for my friends and my family, acquaintances on Facebook and for world peace.  God always answers my prayer.  He may not answer them in the way I want but my prayers are always answered.  Proverbs 3:5 “Have confidence in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding”

WHO Wrote the book of Hebrews?

This is a question that has been asked for the last two thousand years. Hebrews has the first verses I ever read in the Bible, the statement of faith to be exact.  The first book I read in entirety was the gospel of John and from there I’ve read all the New Testament.  Some speculate Paul wrote Hebrews but I’d like to suggest it was either Peter or John.  The wording doesn’t match Paul but it does match Peter or John or even Timothy.  It actually really doesn’t matter, Hebrews in my humble opinion, is one of the most profound books in the Bible. If one wants a good explanation of faith, turn to Hebrews 11:1 “Now, faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not apparent.”   Most succinct statement ever read in my life. 

Who are “They”?

Just who are they anyway?   Reading news articles, Facebook pages or even listening to TV, some ultra "smart" person is referred to as "they."  Most of the time, in my opinion, They know nothing!  Take Covid-19 for instance, "They" created a pandemic and shut down the world.  I don't want to minimize the deaths and destruction this disease caused but with cautious care and common sense, many would not have died, business's not lost or possibly many teenage suicides would have been averted.  "They" have created riots, destruction and pure hate?  Who are "They" that can create such havoc?  Tell me, I want to know so we can as a collective, start answering back!

Who Were The Beatles?

This question is asked in jest sort of,  but those under 40 reading this may not know of the Beatles.  In my humble opinion, The Beatles were the greatest rock group in history!  John, Paul, George and Ringo are still iconic figures, representing a time that was and to never be seen again.  My favorite as a kid was Ringo.  All the girls loved Paul but I liked Ringo, as there was no competition.  As an adult, George is my favorite Beatle  He had a sweet, gentle soul, musically he was above par and he could sing a sweet song.  The Beatles wrote some of the most famous songs in the history of music, Yesterday, I Want To Hold Your Hand, Something (a George Song) and my favorite song of all I Will (a little known love song on the White Album) all represent a generation of music that warms the heart, heals the soul and brings a smile on the face of all of us Baby Boomers who get nostalgic just thinking about summers at the beach, school dances or listening the the radio while studying for a test.  

So dear reader, I hope you enjoyed this rather provocative blog.  Some serious questions, some light to add a balance.  I can’t wait to read your comments.  God bless.  

Happy Father's Day Daddy

Since today is Father's Day and I won't be on line much this coming week due to my move, I thought I write about my dad and the Ontiveros family, of which I don't talk too much about.  Those who know me know I resonate more with the British side of my DNA.  But the Ontiveros family has a rich heritage and that heritage is what made my Dad who he was.

Daddy grew up on a ranch in the Tepusquet hills surrounding Santa Maria.  His father had decided he wanted to be a rancher and had inherited some land the family had been granted by the Spanish government.  The Ontiveros family was a founding family in California, coming up by horse back from Mexico in 1781.  Juan Pacifico Ontiveros, my 3rd great grandfather, was granted Rancho San Juan Cajon de Santa Ana and later bought Rancho Tepusquet in Santa Barbara and San Luis Obispo counties.  That land was parceled off to various family members and my grandfather, Kencho Ontiveros was granted several acres to do with what he pleased. 

Kencho married my grandmother Lee Lancaster on February 7, 1914 in San Franciso.  He brought his beautiful bride to Santa Maria, built a home for her and there they lived until that house burned down when Dad was maybe ten.  Two children were raised on that land, my Aunt Eleanore and my daddy Richard or Dick as he preferred to be called. 

The Depression hit the family hard.  Dad always said that his father would give away extra food and supplies to neighboring families who were not quite as fortunate.  The Ontiveros family however, did without quite a bit.  One story was Grandma would buy a Snickers bar and cut it into four pieces, that was the Saturday night treat.  Among other crops, Grandpa raised what are known as Santa Maria Pink Beans.  They were best picked when the morning air was still cool and damp.  The family of four would be out in the fields picking those beans at 3am, before the actual farming day would begin or in the case of the children, school day.  Those 3 am bean picking mornings are what instilled in Dad, his tremendous work ethic and sense of responsibility.

After the fire, Dad and Grandpa rebuilt that house.  I saw it one time, it was small, running water with indoor plumbing and it had electricity.  Dad always said the he helped install the wiring in that house, he was about twelve.  He worked as one my grandfather's field hands during the summer.  The last week of summer, before the harvest and school starting, is when Dad got time off.  He worked hard all summer long, that's for sure.

Sunday morning December 7, 1941 was the day that lived in infamy.  Dad was attending Santa Maria Junior College at the time, with aspirations of being a woodworking/shop teacher and attending Ohio State.  When Pearl Harbor was bombed, Dad joined the navy and for the next 4 years, he was on various ships in the Pacific.  Those years, he always claimed, were the best of his life.  He grew up, left the ranch as a boy and returned in 1945 as a man.  Dad never did attend college, he took care of his parents after the war.

My parents married in 1949.  I was born in 1955 and my sister in 1958.  We witnessed a traditional marriage between two people who loved and were devoted to each other.  They were our role models, our security and the two best people we would ever know.  We saw Daddy going to work every morning, come home every night and love our mother and us with undying devotion.  Daddy devoted the sixty four years of marriage to making our mother happy and comfortable and to us he gave us his love.

Daddy's been gone 8 years this July.  I miss him every, single day.  Not a day goes by where I don't say; "Dad, you wouldn't believe it!"  Mom died two years after him and I know in my heart of hearts, they are together laughing, sharing a cocktail and loving each other. 

So dear Daddy, happy Father's Day.  I love you and miss you.  I hope I've made you proud.

Moving On or Cleansing My Soul

Moving is a daunting experience, to say the least.  From the time my parents brought me home from the hospital to this move, I've lived in 22 different dwellings.  I remember all but two, each had it's own story, each move was different, each move was the same.   From the packing of boxes to the unpacking and putting "stuff" away, it is time consuming, daunting and frankly exhausting.

The sorting of stuff, decisions as what one wants to keep and what is unnecessary is a big decision.  I tend to keep stuff, although I'm not a hoarder.  I still have the Huckleberry Hound record I got for my fifth birthday, my Monkees scrap book from when I was eleven and various cards and letters written to me over the years.  It's fun to read letters from friends who went on vacation when we were 14, cards or a newspaper article about something that meant a great deal at the time.  Do I need to keep these things?  Probably no, why move it all again but I probably will.

During this move, I have really started purging.  In my "purge" I found long lost cards my grandmother sent me for Halloween, Christmas and birthdays.  I found cards in boxes my parents sent me over the years, all I've carefully saved.  Do I keep these?  Yes, I still like having those links to the past.  Mom's spiraling handwriting or Nannie's lovely English penmanship still gives me a comforting feeling of love and acceptance.

I found all the family pictures.  Those I'll keep for sure and will look at over and over again, forever.  I have both my grandmother and great grandmother's photo albums.  Mom gave them to me before she died as she knew I'd take care and treasure them.  As I have done the family genealogy, these links to the past hold a special meaning.  These pictures are what I love most.  Remembering those precious moments in time are such sweet memories.  I found one of my tenth birthday, holding my Herman's Hermits Greatest Hits album (I still have it).  I remember when that picture was taken as I was in a big hurry to go back to my bedroom and listen to it on my record player.  "I'm Henry the Eighth I am, Henry the Eighth I am I am!"

But these things are really just stuff.  Moving is also soul cleansing, out with the old and in with the new.  I am moving on with my life, old love is gone, new love hopefully will be found.  Friendships will remain solid, but some acquaintances will be left in the past.  Time to turn over a new leaf, time to make changes, time to cleanse my soul.

So thank you my dear friends, Toni, Joyce and Jane.  Thank you for the years of friendship, love and acceptance.  I'm moving not just to Idaho but on with my life.  New friendships will be made, new experiences will happen but those I hold dear will never be forgotten.  Thank you for the memories!

2020, The Year That Was

As I sit and type this blog,  I am reminded that today was the day I was supposed to head off to Europe. It was to be a three week get-a-way, destinations were Russia, Switzerland and Italy.   We were to explore three cities in Russia, take plenty of pictures, videos and walk the streets of the czars.  In Switzerland, we were renting a car, exploring the Swiss countryside, Eastern France and Northern Italy.  From Geneva, we were headed for Rome for 6 nights.  Mt Vesuvius, Pompeii, and the Italian countryside were on the agenda.  There was going to be plenty of selfies in the Swiss Alps, on the Italian coast line and in Murmansk, home of the Russian powered ice breakers.  What a trip, what a dream what a great time.

Our great trip however was dumped, like so many great plans, into the Dust Bin of History.  2020 The Year That Was, was struck by a “Virus”, this deadly Covid-19, a evil force that enveloped the globe.  It wrecked my beautiful trip, ambition to travel but thankfully we remained healthy.  My hit was monetary and very personal.  

I think back now on how promising 2020 started. New Years Day in New York, lunch at Trump Tower, a carriage ride in the park and beautiful memories made.  Then came the lock down, the world literally stopped and a “Virus” larger than Covid-19 crept over our planet.  In a matter of six months,  so many people died needlessly and many had businesses and future plans destroyed.  In a matter of these six months, our freedoms have eroded, our country is in mass chaos and now looking back with clearer vision, our society is on verge of destruction.  All of this is due to a “Virus” greater than we've seen in hundreds of years and has landed smack dab in the United States of America.

So I ask myself, what small part can I take to bring peace and prosperity back to our country, our world?  I've been called a bright light, a source of positive energy and a blessing to all.  So as I become this Bright Light Blessing, how do I use my talents and use this positive energy for that of good?  I'm putting the past behind me and will use this voice, these blogs to speak the truth as I see it and will become bolder with my beliefs.

So, following are the basic truths of life as I see it, a beginning to make changes to our country, the world:

ALL PEOPLE ARE CREATED EQUAL                                                                                    

As we are made in the image and likeness of God, our source, I am equal to the Starbucks barista, the trainer at the gym, the policeman on the street, the BLM protester and yes the ANTIFA rioter.  Let me repeat, we are all created equal, ALL LIVES MATTER, period!

ALL PEOPLE HAVE THE RIGHT TO FREE SPEECH                                                                  Let me be clear, we have the right to free speech with one caveat,  that speech should be dignified, respectful, non threatening and without hate or malice. When we resort to threats we will not be taken seriously.  Pollyanna-like speech doesn't work either as half the population wouldn't understand and the other half will laugh.   Free speech is a right but can also be toxic, poison, hateful and frankly evil.  So as I stated, be dignified but courageous, be bold but not nasty, be unafraid but smart and be respectful not rude.

ACT LIKE A CIVILIZED HUMAN BEING                                                                              When we witness the looters on TV, the rioters burning down cities, what we see are thugs.  Don't act like a thug!  Thugs are not taken seriously, they are instantly discounted, disliked and destructive to themselves and others.  Imagine being an 18 year old, looting a store or burning a police car and you're caught on camera by some news station.  This likeness will stick like glue forever.  You've been branded and your life is effectively ruined.  Do not become a thug!

TURN OFF THE TV                                                                                                                            It's all biased one way or another anyway.  Learn to think for yourself, read, and study various philosophies, traditions and beliefs.  Read self-help by well researched authors (I can recommend a few) if that is your interest.  Most importantly, read your Bible and learn from it's time honored and trusted pages.  Start with the Psalms or better yet, start in Genesis 1:1 and Matthew 1:1 and read a chapter in both testaments daily.  Your soul will be cleansed, your mind opened and your worries and sadness will disappear.  

LEARN TO FORGIVE                                                                                                                

Jesus called us to forgive.   I truly believe so much of the anger, bitterness, hatred and evil is done by people who have not forgiven others and themselves. The most perfect prayer is the Lord's own prayer; "forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us."   So, I proclaim on this page I forgive!  I forgive the kid in school who called me ugly, the guy who cut me off on the highway, the person who stole my parking place and past friends who discarded me.  I forgive myself for allowing myself to be sucked into toxic feelings towards those people.  I forgive!  

GIVE THANKS                                                                                                                              When you open your eyes in the morning and take your first breath, give thanks to the creator for the opportunity to be alive one more day.  Give thanks to the one source, God and proclaim your thanks by breathing deep and exhale "Thank You."  You'll find by doing this first, before your feet hit the floor, you'll get a natural high, a huge boost to your attitude and self confidence. 

REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE, YOU ARE LOVE                                                                  

You are love, you can change the world with a smile, a kind word or a gentle touch. The Divine lives inside of all of us and you are reflection of that Divine. You are a "Christ Like" creature, be an example of this Divine love. 
                                                                                                                                                                                                     

So finally my friends, go in peace.  Remember, God is in control and know you are a bright light, positive energy and that blessing to all you meet.  And remember to forgive.  By writing these words, I truly forgive.

My Healing House

Blogging is new to me and writing has only been a part of my life for the last year or so.  Frankly, writing was never something I was interested in.  Last March I started journaling and it has become a daily habit.  This daily habit has morphed into much more than just writing down my thoughts when I wake up in the morning, it has become an obsession, a hobby and was for several months sort of a part time job for a friend.  Now it is a passion of mine and I want to share my thoughts a few times a week with those who may be interested in me.  These thoughts will reflect happiness, my pain, my wishes and desires.  They'll touch on current events, human conditions and frankly just about anything that comes to mind at the time I sit down and begin writing.  

So today, my thoughts are mainly on me, what I've been doing and what the future holds.  My human condition is such that I'm excited and ready for changes.  I am actually sort of sad due to recent circumstance but ready for what's in store next.

In two weeks, my home here in Washington will be packed up and on June 25 I'm moving to a whole new city, new state and new way of life.  I'm like a caterpillar ready to become a butterfly and fly away.  This house I'm writing in was my retreat, my healing home and my recovery place after John died.  For the past 5 years, I've healed past hurts, sent my daughter to college from and fell in love.  Now it's become a place that I can safely say goodbye to and go to the next chapter, the last third of my life.  My past hurts have healed, my daughter grew into a lovely young woman and the love has changed.   

I traveled out of this house, 3 times to the UK, to the east coast, southwestern US and parts in between.  I brought home souvenirs from my travels to this house.  One I hold dear is a antique Scottie dog I found in a little shop in Berwick on Tweed.  He was carefully wrapped in bubble wrap and toted around Scotland in my suitcase.  Another was a stuffed Scottie  I found in the gift store in Buckingham Palace, on my first trip to the UK.  He has his own little box with the logo of the queen, in which he will be placed in when we move.  This little fellow went all over England and Scotland with me until he found his place on a table in the family room.  Now both will have places of honor in the new home in Idaho.

I got seriously ill in this house twice, nursed a sprained ankle in this house, healed a broken leg and healed my broken heart.  It's served it's purpose.  It's now ready for new owners who will love it like I did, take care of it maybe better than I did and can start the next chapter of their lives in the rooms I hold so dear.  

So dear house, my very own real home, enjoy your new family.  Let them rest in your rooms as peacefully as I did and love them like you loved me.  Cheers and peaceful energy my trusted friend and thank you for the healing memories.