Self Help or Helping One's Self

Self help books can be good, bad or hilarious.  It just depends who the author is, the subject matter and the genre for whom the book is intended.  But books can only go so far but without a mentor or a unbiased party to pour one's heart out to, books are just what they are one sided and mute.

We all must recognize we need help for one thing or another in our lives.  Sex, drugs and rock and roll only will go so far, but that trusted unbiased party who will listen without judgment, giving sound advise and plenty of kleenex for the tears, can be a wonderful sounding board.  I am so lucky, between my Bible and the dearest person ever created, Chris, I have lived to tell another story.

When John first got sick, we were advised to seek grief therapy.  I was dragged kicking and screaming as I was so sure I didn't need help.  For goodness sake, I was perfect, could handle my emotions myself and no one needed to hear me blather.  I'm here to tell the story now, in this blog, I was the exact opposite.  For the past seven years, I've been pouring my heart out to an saint, literally a true saint.  She saved me from self destruction, consuming grief from losing a spouse and recently from a lost love.  So moving forward, I'd like to impart some of her wisdom, advise and what I've learned through true self help.

First; We are all okay.  We all have experiences that make us who we are today, in this moment.  These experiences shape us, make us able to cope and give us lessons to learn from.  In order to move forward in our lives, learning from our experiences is key to success.  Just don't make the same mistake twice, as I have often done.  If  you do make that same mistake twice, simply dust yourself off and be mindful for the third time.  Three's a charm but in this case a curse. 

Second; We are all Whole, Perfect and Complete human beings.  I learned this concept thirty years ago when I started studying spirituality.  As time has moved on and I became a Christian, the truth became clear that we are all created in the image of God, a complete likeness of Him.  All we ever need in life can be found within our own selves through prayer and meditation.  When I sit in the stillness of the early mornings, God speaks to me in ways I would never have known.  So much peace and comfort can be found just by knowing that Divine Love is found within me.  We can all experience this truth, just go within and try it.

Third:  Keep a journal and record your thoughts daily.  Chris gave me a journal three years ago to record my thoughts, desires, heartaches and experiences.  I was not in tune one hundred percent until a year ago.  I began to record my thoughts daily in my journal, my deepest secrets, desires and longings.  Before I moved, I threw them away as there was too much TMI in them and no one should have ever got their hands on them.  Since then, my new morning journals are full of self healing, planned trips, new starts and scattered in the pages,  my tears.  Recently, I started writing these blogs in a large brown journal and I use that journal for blog writing only.   I'll keep all of these tomes, and some day my potential grandchildren can look at them and have a good laugh about their Granny.

Fourth; Exercise daily.  It's important to get  daily exercise not just for our personal health but for our mental health as well.  Take a daily walk or go to the gym and walk the treadmill, the eliptical or lift some weights.  As mentioned last week, I have a great trainer who puts me through the paces twice a week.  I feel so much better when I crawl out of the gym and breath that sigh of relief.  I've been training for five years and all of the trainers I've had, have treated me like the 30 year old who lives in my mind.  I'll never be able to thank them enough as they changed my life.

Fifth: Socialize with quality people.  Befriend people who share the same core values, lifestyles, spiritual beliefs and politics (yes politics) as you do.  Over the last year, I've met some quality people who I hope will stay friends with me forever.  My church friends have been invaluable and I still have wonderful friends from high school days who love me, support me through the good and bad times.  Friends are valuable and in some cases can become family, when family isn't close by.  I can only hope I have been as much as an encouragement to them as they have been to me.  So this is a great, big THANK YOU!

Finally, never lose faith.  Self Help is just what it sounds like, Self Help.  We can try to take the journey of life on our own but people need people and more importantly we need God.  In the words of Proverbs 3:5-6; Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.  ~Amen