Once Again One Door Closes

In the spring of 2020, I started this blog as therapy of sorts.  Covid was in full force, masking was the new fashion statement and I was trying to put my life in order so to speak.  I wrote my first blog titled, My Healing House and every word in that blog still rings true today.  72 blogs later, here I am, blessing my home in Idaho and making plans to begin again.  Over these last few months I have been in living in a whirlwind.  I went to Europe, turned 69 and found once again, doors closed forcing me to make life decisions and changes I would not have imagined a year ago.  

This house healed me in some ways and opened up new wounds to make me think that Idaho is no longer my home.  The one and only moved out, 2800 miles away to a new life. All kids need to do this in order to grow up, mature and start their lives independent from their parents.  Sadly however, this mom grew very lonely as we only saw each other once a year.  Yes, we talk every day but it's not like being in the same town.  It’s hard living somewhere where there is no family and friends are a revolving door.  Holidays spent alone or having to travel long distances is not fun.  I haven't had a Christmas tree in two years and decorating is minimal. Why, I won't be here anyway!

I found I really don't fit in, in Idaho.  My beliefs are very different than the beliefs that so many people here grew up with, and still hold dear.  Yes, politically I'm conservative but the rest of my thought process and ideas don't jell with many here.  I'm very independent, I don't need a lot of people around me and there are some who thought differently.   I love the outdoors but I'm not a hiker, biker, camping, or fishing kind of gal.  It's not me, I simply don't fit in.

Relationships changed here in Idaho.  I moved here sad and today the weights on my heart have lifted.  I keep telling myself I'm whole, perfect and complete, but I don't always feel that way.  I keep reassuring myself I'm more than enough, but my heart keeps telling me differently.  I'm finding with the winter drawing near, the seasonal depression is coming back.  I thought I left that behind in Seattle!  Therefore, I'm starting a new season, beginning again one more time.  Ecclesiastes 3 says, "for everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven."  I'll find that new purpose in this new season I'm embarking on.  

So, what's the next season I'm sure you're all asking yourselves?  After thinking, meditating and researching, I'm going to move down to Florida. I’ll be  close to the one and only, 30 minutes to be exact.  It's a bright red state, lots of sunshine, and 9 months out of the year it’s just lovely.  I've been assured that all the "new builds" are hurricane proof and alligators live near large bodies of water.  Yes there will be lizards in the grass and some sweltering days, but that's what air conditioning was invented for!  I have hope that my potted plants will grow for 12 months and I can nurse my flower garden without winterizing.  I’m excited to not have black ice or my sprinklers blown out so they won't freeze and crack. Down parkas will be stored in the back of the closet and boots will be a fashion item and not for warmth. Imagine wearing gym shorts and sandals year round and damn I can wear a dress in December!

Some say Florida is where retirees go to die. Not me, I’ve already got plans. Since I will be moving into a 55 and older community, they’ll be plenty of activities in store. I’ll be moving in the summer months, so I can get my house unpacked before Thanksgiving. I’ve booked a solo trip to Europe in late October and airfare to London is cheaper from Orlando than Boise.  I’m not a Disney girl but we will hear the fireworks every night and I can have my morning coffee on my patio in December. This is all starting to sound better and better as I type.

I plan to start doing volunteer work where my one and only works.  The residents go to mass on Thursdays, so I will accompany them along with volunteering for holiday events and their regular day trips.  My new community has plenty of outings and activities as well, so hopefully I'll blend into regular get togethers and I'm hoping for a water aerobics class!  It all sounds good, nothing like I've experienced here and hey, a weekend trip to the Keys sounds like a plan!

Therefore, here I go again, beginning again. The cracks in my heart will heal eventually with a new life that is in store for the next 25 years. I am imagining my 70th birthday in Florida with all the oldies and of course the one and only.  I’m going to miss Idaho, the friends I’ve made, my yard, and of course, my gym rat friends. But life is in a constant state of change and this is my time to make a change.  I'll keep this blog active as I move forward and check in regularly when I get settled in Orlando.  I'll have plenty to report between now and when I leave.  Right now, it's time to downsize and purge, out with the old, in with the new.  I keep reminding myself, when one door closes, a new one opens.  That's the flow of life. 

To everything there is a season,

A time for every purpose under heaven

A time to be born,

And a time to die;

A time to plant,

And a time to pluck what is planted

A time to kill,

A time to heal

A time to break down,

And a time to build up:

A time to weep,

And a time to laugh;

A time to mourn,

And a time to dance:

A time to cast away stones,

And a time to gather stones

 Ecclesiastes 3: 1-5 NKJV

The New Meaning of Weird

Way back in 2021, I wrote a blog entitled Fellow Weirdos Unite!  I was poking fun at myself and others who all self identify as weird.   I know I'm a bit out with certain beliefs, and let's face it, society looks at me and my "creepy weirdo friends" as weird.  Those of us who are disclosure enthusiasts, UFO watchers and conspiracy theorists are all looked upon as "different."  The conspiracies I've bought into over the last 60 years have all been truth and more and more is starting to come out as to just how corrupt our world actually is.  The people I've met at these conferences are decent hard working individuals and are filled with God's light and love.  We all want the same thing, peace, security, freedom, and liberty.  We want our our children and grandchildren to grow up in a world where we don't have to look over our shoulders constantly in case some criminal is following us.    

Today, the word Weird has taken on a new meaning, a new tone and has become a new idea.  The immature, vapid and frankly nonsensical interpretation of weird by the left is actually hilarious but very dangerous.  What these lunatics deem as weird in the olden days, was decent, loving and normal.  Protecting our homes and families from invaders, protecting our children from child abusers and the like, is not weird.  Faith, family and a normal life style is now weird.  This applies to both traditional and gay marriages.  We are all raising our families with the same concerns and challenges.  Protecting our children needs to be our number one priority.

A push to normalize pedophilia has found it's way out of the cracks of hell!  Imagine, we are now weird because we do not approve of some pervert wanting to molest our children.  Years ago, the Man-Boy Love Association was deemed as disgusting and immoral and illegal.  In some quarters now, it's okay and this goes against everything I hold dear to my heart.  The children being trafficked by this horrible regime of Biden's, are all subject to rape and murder.  These sweet souls simply disappear.  There are those in government, who wholly and completely agree with it!  Open boarders has lead to a host of opportunities only the most deviant and immoral among us approve of.  This has to stop, and it must stop now!

We are living in a new normal of sorts.  What was once up is now down, wrong now right, lazy is now productive, and I could go on and on. This bizarro world of sorts, where we now find ourselves, is dangerous, immoral and evil reigns. We are living in the End Times, the fall of a civilization, akin to the Roman Empire. I remember back in 1967, sitting in Mrs. Kleinman’s social studies class at Huntington. She was teaching us about the fall of the Roman Empire. At that time, 57 years ago, she likened what the United States was going through to the Roman Empire's destruction. This was during the time of the Vietnam war, protest marches, and civil rights riots.  I asked my dad about it later, and I remember he clearly said, the United States will never go by way of the Roman Empire. Well, here we are folks we are in a freefall, and the landing is going to be deadly.  Dad in later years used to say, when this all happens, I hope I'm dead.  Well Daddy, it's happening and I'm truly glad you're not here to witness it.

I heard recently about a new phenomena of kids and adults for that matter, who self identify as an animal. They called them Furries.  These Furries are allowed to dress however they identify, and litter boxes are set up in the school bathrooms, so the Furry can freely use them and not feel as though they’re discriminated against. Now folks, I am all for live and let live.  I whole heartly support those who are different and embracing their individuality.  But, how far does society want to take this?  How much do the rest of us have to endure?  My friend’s, this is the new normal, and we are now the weird ones. 

All adults go through puberty.  It was horrible for me as I was picked on, bullied and called every name in the book.  Thank God I was somewhat normal thinking as I never expressed a thought of being a boy.  Some little boys like playing girl games, just like some little girls like playing with the boys.  Not one kid I knew of, wanted a sex change at 8 years of age.  Now however, the schools are just itching to put a kid in a program to go through a gender transition.  Child mutilation is now the new normal.  If I was starting over with my one and only, we'd be homeschooling or in a private school of some sort as the public school system in America sucks!  They're indoctrination centers as are the colleges and universities.  I know of several young adults, who left good homes with center to right values, and are now left leaning, radical lunatics! They were indoctrinated by lefty professors who want America to become a socialist/communist utopia.  

With all this stated above, the word Weird is simply a term to now describe those of us trying to save our great nation.  I'm proud to be Weird as I'm a patriot and I'm a proud American.  My family goes back to Bacon's Rebellion in 1676.  We have patriots who fought in the Revolutionary War, Civil War, WWII and Korea.  My dad was a WWII and Korea veteran.  Cousin Tom Ontiveros was killed while piloting his plane after leaving Italian Airspace in WWII.  By the way, I wrote about Tom in my blog, "Our Family Hero" if anyone is up to reading about a true American hero. Again I state, thank God neither gentlemen are here to see the destruction of what they held so dear to their hearts.  I think about my grandparents, all of who worked hard, supported their families during the Depression and held close to their hearts, American values.  One set immigrated from England, both became citizens of America, both would be devastated with America and Britain today.   Thank God they missed the shit show.

My friends, as stated three years ago, Fellow Weirdos unite!  Pick up your sword and fight the good fight.  It's time to take a stand for good against evil, freedom and liberty against tyranny, and love against darkness.  I will continue to fight the good fight and will continue to voice my opinion.

I HAVE FOUGHT THE GOOD FIGHT, I HAVE FINISHED THE RACE, I HAVE KEPT THE FAITH ~ 2 TIMOTHY 4:7

Time To Take A Stand

I haven't written a blog in a long time, and it's not because I've had nothing to say.  On the contrary, I've had plenty to say but have been suppressing my thoughts and feelings.  Life has been busy, traveling a bit and I've been planning our big trip in September.  However, that's not why I held off writing a blog.  I've held off because I've had so much angst and dismay over the last few months about the state of our country and world that I've been rendered speechless.  Now is the time my friends, for me to voice what so many of us have been thinking and feeling.  I can not keep silent any longer as I'm scared and I mean really, really scared as to what's at stake for us as a society if we continue down this path to a communist hell hole.  So here I go, unfriend, block or simply disappear from my life if we are at odds to what's happening in the world.  You will not like or appreciate what I have to say and neither of us will miss each other if you disagree with me.  Many people do agree and I count them as my "people."

The propaganda against what is right, true and normal is out of control.  What I see snippets of, when I'm watching my alternative blog casts would make Josef Goebbels blush.   The left is trying to normalize blatant communistic thoughts, ideas and their lack of values.  The left is spewing  hatred by lying about what the other side has expressed.  The left is the enemy of the "people" and I'm frightened as there are just plain idiots who believe this crap.  

This morning I was watching a British YouTube program.  I watch a lot of British TV as it's good to see and hear what the rest of the world is thinking about America.  They're astounded as to how far  America has fallen into the abyss of socialism.  Britain is already there and so many in the UK see what's happened.  They have so many of the same issues we have here, but are further along with the destruction.  The open boarders dilemma has plagued the UK for several years.  They've banned guns so now the new weapon of choice is knives.  It's hard to ban knives as we need them to cut our meat, oh wait, we're now supposed to like and want to eat bugs, according the Bill Gates.  We won't need knives to carve into our cockroach steak

The elimination of our second amendment concerns me folks, as an armed society is a safe society.  So many of these awful school shootings, mall rampages and neighborhood gang violence, could have been stopped with an armed citizenry taking care of business at the beginning of a murderous rampage.  I'm to the point it's time to buy a gun and get a conceal to carry permit.  Idaho is safe for the most part but some crazy with murder in "it's" heart could come after us at any point.  I want to defend myself and my home.  

The open boarders crisis is finally starting to affect Idahoans.  In my travels around town, I see many dubious characters roaming the major streets.  I'm all for people coming to America to get a start on life, but it must be a legal path to be here.  Those sneaking in with nothing but government issued phones and backpacks are not here to live la dolce Vida.  The boarder czar who is attempting a presidential run, has done nothing to secure our southern boarder and protect law abiding Americans.  Oh yeah, the talking heads are spewing she was never named the boarder czar.  There is documented proof in print and there's also video of our pathetic president naming her as such.  He probably has forgotten this fact by now, as how can one remember anything if he's all doped up on God knows what by his elder abusing spouse.  

The subject of the dictator of the USA leads me to another thought.  This idiot has never been the actual POTUS.  This fool and his VP have been the puppets of some Deep State group who are trying to destroy America.  Sorry folks but this is fact.  Barry, Big Mike, and the Clinton crime family have all been behind this disgusting overthrow.  It's fact, not fiction, that our porous boarders have allowed in characters that have no business being anywhere but in their own country's jail system.  I read the other day that Venezuela has emptied their violent gangs on to our American soil.  WTF!  

Venezuela is another topic I'm following with great interest.  They had an election on Sunday and the dictator Nicolas Maduro was voted out of office.  Instead of conceding to the new president, he refused to step down and the people have risen up!  Statues of the former president have been torn down, military commanders have told their troops to step aside and let the people take care of business.  If this has happened there, it will happen here again as it did in 2020.  The left in this country will pull out all their "weapons" to stop President Trump from being reelected.  Hell, the deep state tried to assassinate him a couple of weeks ago!  It's only by the grace of God he survived.  Google is trying to suppress the assassination topic but it's true, I watched it live.  Say what you want about Trump, but life was much better, safer and more prosperous when the Orange Man was president.  They know it and right thinking Americans know it.  He is the only link standing between good and evil, freedom and tyranny.  My feeling is if you don't like Trump, vote for Kennedy.  Kennedy is a good man and has been right about so many important issues, the jab being one of them.  He's seen the light, woke up and has a huge grass roots following.   Either way, a vote for the Boarder Czar is a vote to destroy our great country.  

The Boarder Czar did not break a glass ceiling, she got there on her knees, giving out favors to powerful men.  The Czar has done nothing to enhance the lives of black people in this country.  Sorry folks but this crazy loon can't talk anything but word salad, stupid phrases and giggle like a four year old school girl or a laughing hyena.  She's done nothing of value while in her tenure of office, and was one of the most radical senators in the senate.  By some accounts she's not eligible to be president anyway.  Read and study the Federalist Papers and it's written in there, in black and white.  I have zero respect for anyone who supports this whore and her ideas.  Sorry, not sorry, I had to say this.  If you're still reading this blog and are offended, stop reading and drop me.  Like I said above, we will not miss each other and will probably be happier no longer being friends.

Last but not least my friends, America is up shit's creek if we don't wake up now.  America is on her last legs, going along the path of the Roman Empire under Caligula.  I'm not super religious nor am I a right wing nut case.  I'm a right thinking, American who wants to live in freedom and prosperity.  I've said what I needed to say and I'm not ashamed of my words.  Someone else needs to stand up for America and someone else needs to support our basic ideas, values and lifestyle.  I can not sit idly by and watch the greatest country on the face of the earth be destroyed from within.  85% of Americans agree with me.  The other 15% are lunatics and want our children mutilated, our cities in shambles and our way of life destroyed so that we will become the Venezuela of last week.  If America goes by way of Venezuela, good and decent American's will rise up do the same.  We will have a revolution of sorts and I will be supporting the effort.  May God bless America, and may God bless the good and decent people of the world who stand up for what is right.  

The End of An Era

My Aunt Barbara passed away this morning at the age of 100.  I knew the time would come eventually, but I was still not prepared for it.  Who is ever prepared to receive the news of the passing of a loved one.  This text though was especially difficult because it represents the end of an era, my childhood is finally over but for the memories.  It's weird because now my sister, cousins and I are the family elders, the ones who will now carry the torch.

Aunt Barbara was a gracious, kind, loving lady.  I emphasize lady as she was a true lady, on the level of the queen.  My uncle her brother used to call her the queen and that she was.  She was the second child, the eldest of the three sisters and my mother's closest friend.  She was devoted to my grandmother until the end of her life, and I can still see them in my mind's eye pulling up in front of our house in San Marino, with Nannie in the front seat, head held high.

She spent the last 24 years as a widow, still living in the same house in Newport Beach.  That house holds so many memories for me personally.  I got married in the back yard of that house, played many a game back there growing up and enjoyed these later years sitting talking and enjoying memories.  

Barbara and I talked about anything and everything.  After my own mother passed away, she became my second mother.  I was able to tell her many secrets and ideas and to my knowledge she held them close to her heart.  When I found love again, she was my biggest supporter.  When I traveled, I always brought back a box of tea for her and planned to do so again this year when I'm in Greece or Italy.  I may still buy that box and enjoy my afternoon cuppa thinking of her.

The last time I actually saw her was in 2019.  I was in Newport waiting for my friend to arrive so we could drive out to Palm Springs.  We had a lively conversation and laughed as we always did over the little things in life.  I spoke to her last in 2022 as she had become too tired to sit and talk on the phone, so I wrote her a few letters and send a few cards over these last months.  Sadly, last year, I was unable to attend her 100th birthday party as I had made plans prior to knowing of the event or the date.  My heart was there with her and hopefully she knew that as well.

Therefore, I'll close with the thought and prayer of her safe arrival back to God and reuniting with her entire family unit and with my Uncle Jack.  Nannie: I fulfilled my promise to you 40 odd years ago and I'm have no regret.  Rest in peace my dear Aunt Barbara, until we meet again. 

May 2019

The Simple Pleasures of Life

It's been awhile since I've sat down and wrote a blog.  It's not that I've haven't had anything to say, trust me I've got plenty to discuss.  But, I've been running like crazy with all the opportunities life has offered me over the last year and a half, and time continues to escape me.   Today however, seemed like a good day to sit down and write a blog, as it happens to be my mother's 99th birthday.  Crazy to think if she was still alive, she'd be 99.  She always seemed to me to be that 24 year old in the pictures we've so often seen in albums from the past, or the 50 year old who was riding her bike along Loraine Road.  Mom lived her life to the fullest, traveled the country in the RV with my dad and walked every day up until the day she had the fall that lead to her demise.  Mom was vibrant, active, loved a good dirty joke and a glass of Beefeaters and tonic!  My mom was the perfect example of how I want to be in these later stages of life.

Therefore I've been pondering my life, all that has happened in the last 10 years and all that will possibly be in the next 31.  I plan to live to be over 100 like my dear Aunt Barbara, and live the next 31 years with the gusto my mom seemed to live.  These last 10 years have been years of much change, ups and downs and now it's just the simple pleasures life has to offer.  Let's be honest, it helps to have a hilariously funny, sweet and oh so romantic boyfriend who also shares the same values as I do.  There are also a few good friends to enjoy these pleasures with, and an open mind to enjoy the moments.    But it's more than these things, it's having the heart and soul to embrace life for what is seems to be.

Life at this stage is built on moments.  I try to enjoy the moments as they happen and let's face it, at age 68 our moments are simply what we create.  I have built this stage of my life upon moments and I count my blessings for each one of them.  Life is what we make it, situations are what we make them, and frankly the negatives are simply passages in time.

As I look forward into 2024, I'm seeing multitudes of moments for travel, introspection and plenty of laughs and good times.  I have so much travel set up for this year, it's frankly crazy.  I've  had to weigh out what I can and can not do or afford and prioritize these travel moments.  Currently, I'm in the final planning stages for the European vacation we're taking in September.  My bucket list trip to Italy is finally going to happen and wait for it folks, we get to visit Pompei!!  Pompei has been a dream of mine since I was a kid and studied the Roman Empire.  Yes, I'll take tons of pictures and will share them on Facebook and Instagram.  We're also going to see the Swiss Alps and plenty of selfies will be shared of those moments in time.  

But moments are not just travel and places we visit.  Moments are those shared intimate discussions where we bare our hearts and souls.  Moments on the golf course or over a leisurely lunch seems to be the places where the we encounter these frank discussions about life or our varied journeys.  These moments are just seconds, although that bad shot in my golf game can cause me plenty of angst moments later on.    

So by now dear reader, you must be asking where is this blog is leading to?  Where it's landed is the now moment of today.  My message on Mom's 99th birthday is to enjoy your life, take each moment as they come and embrace the positives along with the negatives.  The negatives are learning experiences, put them in the past forgive and move on.   Travel your life's journey along the path of the unknown and enjoy the pleasures that you'll find.  Trust me, life is what you make it to be, enjoy!

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope."  ~ Jeremiah 29:11

Somewhere over the Caribbean 2024