⚾️ For The Love of The Game ⚾️

Plain and simple, I love baseball. It’s not just the smell of Dodger Dogs, popcorn, or the sounds of the crowd. No, it’s more than that, baseball is embedded in my heart and soul. This month in honor of Father’s Day, we are going to explore America’s past time and the daddies who inspired us to love this magnificent game as much as they did.

One of my early memories with my dad was watching a baseball game on our little black and white TV when we lived in Pasadena. Dad was not necessarily a huge sports fan but, he did enjoy the game of baseball and more specifically the great Los Angeles Dodgers. I was just a little kid, five or six years old, but that memory of sitting with my dad is one of my happy memories.  It was a bonding time every girl has with a loving father. As I got older and, in my teens, baseball became my focus and my passion. I'd listen to the great Vin Scully announce the games, on my transistor radio, tucked under my pillow at night.  Dad would watch it with me when they were televised, but I was always the more enthusiastic one of the two of us. Many good times were spent in Dodger Stadium, watching the boys in blue play against those loathsome Giants or the subpar Mets. When I was working, vendors would give me tickets to a game or two every season. I usually took my dad to at least one game a year and we'd enjoy a Sunday afternoon sitting in great seats and enjoying each other's company.  Those were the days my friends and over the years, my love for the game continued.

When I met John, one of the items on my list for a potential husband, yes, I had a list, was he must like baseball.  Something I've learned since then is to be extremely specific with what you want to manifest.  I neglected to state I wanted to find a husband who loved the Dodgers.  I, however, fell in love with a New York Yankee fan.  How did this happen, I'm sure my dad asked?  No one who was a true Dodger fan would entertain the thought of marrying, little alone birthing the child of a Yankee fan!  That was blasphemy!  Well, I did and since then, 27 years later, the New York Yankees have been part of my life.  

So, how did a diehard Dodger fan live with a diehard Yankee fan, some may ask?  One just goes with the flow, does not rock the boat, and frankly watches them and enjoys.  Over the last 28 years, I have watched more Yankee games than I care to admit.  Frankly, I came to appreciate the Bronx Bombers for what they are, a great baseball team, a storied club, and a legend.  The Yankees have won more games in the World Series than any other team.  In 2008, we went to New York, to see a game in old Yankee Stadium.  I hate to admit it but it was magical.  Sadly, the line was too long to visit monument park, but we had good seats (John would have had it no other way) and the Yankees went on to beat the Twins that fateful night! We met my favorite Yankee, Mariano Rivera the day before, at his restaurant in New Rochelle.  We were so impressed at how gracious and nice he was.  He made it a point to greet every person in his restaurant and chat for a minute or two.  By the way, Mariano is the skinniest man I ever had the pleasure to put my arm around.  Yes folks, I have become a Yankee fan.  

When the Yankees would come to Seattle every year to play the Mariners, we would attend at least one game, the three of us together.  John and our one and only would watch one or two more in person, and experience that father-daughter bonding, that I experienced many years before.  To this day, 8 1/2 years later, our one and only is still a diehard Yankee fan and I know her daddy is proud of her.  This year she's going to see them in both Tampa and Minneapolis.  Her dad will be with her in spirit, sitting on her shoulder and cheering on their team.  This father - daughter baseball bonding continues, throughout the span of time.

After John passed away, I went back to nightly viewings of my beloved Dodgers, but I felt that missing link.  So now I have it timed where I can start the Yankees around 5:30 and catch up with the Dodgers at 8:05.  I have the best of both worlds and pay the price to watch my teams on MLB TV, whenever I want to catch a game. My life from April through October is baseball heaven.  Watching baseball is so much better than politics, and so much more comfortable than worrying about the state of the world.  The only angst I feel is if my team loses by doing something dumb.  It happens and yes, my emotions show and it's not always in a ladylike fashion.

So Dad, one can be a fan of both teams.  Yes, the Yankees are still the "enemy" of our beloved Dodgers but, the fun is there and hey, I don't have to pick sides!  I just go with the flow!  The magic of baseball still reigns in my home and thankfully my heart easily loves both teams equally.  Happy Father's Day, Daddy and let's hope for a Dodger-Yankee World Series this year and may the best team win! 

Daddy about 2011

 

Mother's Day Memories

 As I sit here and write this blog, I'm remembering my own mother and dear grandmother.  I think about both daily but around Mother's Day, their memories are even greater.  They both were invaluable in my life and had so much to say, and so much wisdom to impart.  The journey I've walked these last few years would have astounded both.  The fact I'm a mother, would have amused my grandmother and my own mother I think, went to her grave in disbelief.  You see, motherhood and marriage was never much on my mind or heart.  I was the "cat lady" in those days, the girl who had a bunch of cats.  I enjoyed my single life, worked hard, partied hearty and frankly, was living the dream.  It took a strong man, a decent guy and one with a work ethic to turn my head.  He was a baseball fan, although not my team so I figured why not, I could get involved!  So here I am, 29 years later, living the dream as a single girl again, someone's mother and happy in my space.  Crazy as it sounds, who would have ever imagined, my life has gone in a in full circle and I'm back to where I started.

As appropriate as the name of my blog is, Beginning Again, I truly have begun again.  No, I'm not out trolling for a date (I never really did that), or partying hearty (although lately I seem to have an active social life); I am back to enjoying my space, my life, and my new beginning in Boise.  Who would have thunk it!  What I've discovered is that, beginning again, this time on my terms, has been an amazing ride.  I started this blog two years ago, to heal my broken heart and move forward, and now I write for the sheer pleasure of writing and trying to make a difference.  I know my friends think I'm nuts, but frankly, standing in my truth makes me a little nuts.  I haven't got much to lose at this point, other than some of the "placeholders" that are tending to fall away anyway, or the phonies who I no longer have a tolerance for.  I have learned to enjoy my life again, with these two little boys who are keeping me hopping, the friends who have entered my life over the last two years and the memories I seem to be making regularly.  So how exactly did I do this?  What did it take for me to find peace of mind, a new path, and a new beginning?  

First, I decided I could care less what anyone thinks about me.  I mentioned this to my study group this week and they were rather surprised as who does this?!  Me!  I really do not give a flying you know what about what anyone thinks of me.  I live my life according to the Golden Rule, the Ten Commandments, and my heart knowledge.  I stand regularly in my truth and those who find that intimidating has fallen away.

Second, I know my heart.  I regularly listen to my Higher Self and understand what is right for me.  This is a practice and I'm still in the learning phase.  I am tapped in and so far, have not been steered wrong.  My dear friend Maureen St. Germain is a great teacher on this subject, check her out and her books.  She's amazing.  

Third, I have gained the wisdom to find my inner peace.  I know that everything that happens is for a reason, and I count my blessings daily.  What seemed like the end of the world two years ago, turned into a blessing of unimagined proportions.  No, I'm still sad about the way that "thing" worked out but see the blessing and have moved on.  I was on a Facebook Live Zoom call the other day, looked at the participants in the group and realized that that one person, acting as a conduit for the universe, brought all those people into my life.  These participants were all over the world, of various ages and backgrounds.  I would never have ever been in that group but for this one blessing.  Crazy, but a wonderful crazy all the same.

So back to Mother's Day and my own mother.  I owe her so much, love her and miss her desperately.  Over the last few years, I have wished over and over that she was still here.  My grandmother as well.  Nannie has been gone for thirty years, but I still miss her and her words of wisdom.  Knowing what I know now about her life through my genealogy studies, I have so many unanswered questions. Therefore, Mother's Day is not just about giving birth, but the nurturing, imparting of wisdom and being a friend to the most important people in a mother's life.  Through this journey of the last two years, I believe my one and only has discovered I'm more than just Mom, but a human being with feelings, fears, courage and tenacity.  I know she's followed my journey with an open mind and heart and has taken to heart these blogs.  I just hope she doesn't make my mistakes, learned from what I've done right and has been encouraged on her own journey.  I pray that mother's prayer for health, safety and peace of mind.  So onward and upward to all my mom friends, and Happy Mother's Day!

Mom with Nicholas and Bonnie 2013

I Was Insane

I've been a bit impulsive over the years, and at other times, it takes me weeks to make a simple decision.  That's just how I'm wired, and someone once told me I think too much.  I have found that the more I ruminate on the decision I'm trying to make, the less I understand myself, and the why's behind the hesitation.  Therefore, when my dear Bonnie died, I knew I would need another dog to love as I love dogs and their constant companionship.  Toni told me to get two," you need two," she said.  "Two will keep each other company!"  Other well-meaning friends told me I was crazy, as taking on two eight week old puppies would be enough to drive even the most stable among us insane.  Others said to wait, morn, grieve and get over the tremendous loss of such a faithful companion.  I however jumped, and was yes, impulsive!  Here I am, four months later asking myself the simple question, "Was I Insane?!"

Now don't get me wrong, I love these little monsters.  Anyone who follows me on Instagram will know, I'm crazy in love with these two boys.  Hell, they even have their own Instagram page "The Adventures of Stuart and Toby."  However, I must confess, I was crazy to take on these two terrorists at the same time.  My house, my yard and my life has been in a four-month whirlwind of emotions since day one.  The energy level is high here, from the time I wake them up at 7:00am until they go night night promptly at 10:00pm.  My senses are always on high alert, and forget about trying to write, read or meditate.  If I don't do that as soon as I get up, you can forget it.  

The other day I heard some odd scratching, I was not on my game you see, I was mentally elsewhere.  Most likely I was playing Words With Friends or Candy Crush.  When I finally decided to investigate the source of this odd noise, I found a corner of the molding in my family room, gnawed down to the woodwork.    Now, we have more chewie's in this house than in a small kennel.  Toby The Termite decided the corner woodwork was better tasting than the chicken flavored chewie, he has so fondly placed under my dining room table.  That corner is only the tip of the iceberg this guy has gnawed.  My antique wood lamp table, my desk legs, oh let's not forget the kitchen cabinet, my hands, and please do not let me forget the wood pillars out on the patio...  I had forgotten how "oral" Westies are.  My Nicholas did the same thing.  I remember, the branch of my lovely Camellia bush coming in my back door.  I think my husband got a good laugh, and an I told you so out of that incident.

My garden is a mine field of great opportunities for diggers, and terriers love to dig!  Last year I planted several peonies, one is now half dug up and leaves ripped from the roots.  The small hydrangea from last year's planting, appeared on my lounge chair and let's not forget the lilac bush has lost a couple branches.  My roses were temporarily in wire cages until the new wire fencing was finally installed around the entire yard.  The grass is the only area where they're allowed.  They can of course lay out on the lounge chairs as they provide a bird's eye view into the family room.  More than once I've felt two pairs of eyes, peering in at me.  They are nosey little terrorists and keep their eyes on me to see what's up or if the refrigerator door has opened! This is a 24/7 job for mom and relaxation is no longer on my radar. I am constantly on edge for what's next.

Now, they are very sweet, and the house training is actually going well for the most part.  My boy Toby has got the gist of it, but Stuart... well let's just say he's forgetful.   Stu has his good days and then there are the more challenging days.  I continue to forget Scottie dogs are stubborn and Stu is stubborn.  Let's just say, some days are better than others for both boys.  Therefore, I continue to keep towels in strategic locations in my main living area, and they continue to be used.  

Then there’s the climbing.  Climbing has become a new art for Toby as he is lighter weight with longer legs.  I have found him everywhere, investigating the top tier of the couches, on my mother cedar chest and yes, he's made it up to my bed when I'm not looking.  My bedroom is my sacred space, so normally they are not allowed in there.  They are sneaky you see, and the baby gate I have at bedroom doorway has been violated, more than once.  I've even found my muscular, squatty, short legged Stuart, sitting on the bed and how he got up there is anyone's guess.

Eating is another matter.  I'm going through puppy food faster than lightening.  OMG these dudes can eat!  Bonnie was a somewhat picky eater, not these two.  They continue to be on puppy food as they are puppies.  I have to lock them in the playpen with a frozen Kong, while I eat.  As much as I've tried, there are not any boundaries when it comes to my meals.  I must eat up at the bar now, not in my favorite chair.  Food is simply their favorite thing. 

With all this said however, I'm still glad I got two babies.  Toni was right, two is the best option.  When they poop out, they're adorable.  Toby likes to snuggle on my lap and Stu loves the couch (lots of blankets are covering it).  As I type, they're both napping in their respective stations in my office, snoring those sweet sounds and sometimes dream barks.  I love these two dudes, they healed the heart break over Bonnie, and have helped me move forward to my new beginnings.  Please remind me of this blog when I look at that corner molding and cry.  Help me remember how much I love them and not look back but to look forward.  They will grow up, I just know it...

My boy Stuart The Squatty Scottie

My Other Boy Toby The Termite 

What The Heck Is Going On?

We've been together eight weeks now, my two boys and me.  What a delightful change they've made to my life and yes, I'm constantly on my toes; 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  I need to remember to watch where to put my shoes, Kleenex box and anything else I want to keep for at least 48 hours.  These dudes can be destructive if left to their own devises.  The other night, I was able to peer in their little or not so little mouths, and low and behold, they're losing teeth!  Big gaps in their gums have appeared and little, tiny teeth seem to be sprouting.  Please God, make them not be as sharp!

Going outside is a big deal for these little fellows.  I had to install gates leading into my main yard and what a wonderful freeing feeling that is for both them and me.  They cannot get out as I've shored up any gaps under the fence line.  They love to chase each other around the yard with complete abandon, dig in my roses and catch some sun out on the rocks or more recently, my lounge chairs.  Every now and then, when they feel the need, they actually come in to rest and have a snack.  Its exhausting being a little dog in a big yard with freedom to move. Potty training is going well, not too many puddles in the house these days, as it's more fun to pee outside than on mommy's kitchen floor.  It's slow going but it's happening and there's a grooming appointment on the horizon very soon!

Meanwhile outside our little neighborhood, life still moves on. These days I like the rest of the world, have a interest in Ukraine situation.  The devastation being rained down on innocent people is tragic and this applies to both sides of the equation.  War is not pretty, and what is visible to the outside world is not necessarily a true picture of the situation. As I type, bio labs have been revealed and I can't help thinking that there is more to this than what meets the eye.  I for one am a skeptic and the need to know more has become a focus for me.  As a citizen of the USA and frankly the world, what is being manufactured in those labs, who's behind this, and where's the product going?  I have my suspicions frankly.  From what I've come to understand, these are not recent labs, they've been there for many years.  Who's been checking and monitoring these labs one may ask themselves?  The need to know seems to be more and more urgent.  The apparent question now is, what the heck is going on?

Gas has gone up more than $2.00 a gallon in the year and a half I've lived here.  Thank God I'm in Idaho, not California where its bank breaking expensive and who can afford $7.00 a gallon for gasoline?  Diesel is over $9.00 a gallon for heaven's sake! Food prices are soaring and if it's not apparent to anyone other than me, supply chains all run on... wait for it folks... fuel!   Clean energy is an option but it's not the end all, die all as some people seem to think. The Green New Deal is simply a pipe dream, and those who have studied the global economy know this to be true.  Our modern society relies on petroleum, this is a simple fact.  Plastics, fertilizers, calking, soft contact lenses, heart valves and many, many more products are all made from petroleum products.  Don't fall for the notion that petroleum is evil.  The petroleum industry makes our society run.  Even Elon Musk came out and stated we must be drilling for oil.  So, drill baby drill but do it safe for our environment and cost effectively.  

The mask nonsense continues even though no one here wears one.  I recently traveled down to Arizona and was forced to wear the stupid thing in the airport and during flight.  Passengers and the flight attendants all seem weary of this nonsense.  They don't do anything but cause zits, coughing fits and the inability to take a deep breath.  I was actually dizzy and couldn't breathe in the stupid #$$%*Ng thing.   With that thought in mind, the dreaded face diaper needs to go away immediately.  I just hope it's gone when I leave for Peru as it’s going to be a long trip not being able to breathe. 

If all the above is not bad enough, Fake News is still here folks and festering as normal.  Fake News is the enemy of the people.  Spewing their garbage has given us what we're facing today in this country and worldwide. Censorship is now rampant and alternative forms of entertainment have become the norm.  My friend Doc has had to abandon his Facebook show for a viewer subscribed internet forum.  The YouTube censors are after him as well along with many others.  This is censorship folks and it is scary stuff. Our world is in a state of uncertainty and frankly a free fall if we don’t come to our senses and see the truth behind the facades. Fake News created the lies we hear nightly and what I do not understand is how seemingly intelligent people believe their bull crap?!  But then again, there were a lot of very intelligent people in 1932 Germany who fell for a similar line of fertilizer.   

I am grateful to have awakened to the nonsense of the world today.  Having been awakened is very different than being "woke."  I've been awake for many years but over the last couple of years, I changed my thinking in a dramatic way and thus, changed my life.  I took the first two jabs last year but never again.  I don't trust the government doctors and by the way, where is the diabolical Dr Fauci hiding these days?  That little criminal is responsible for much of the garbage we've been fed.  I for one, have been following a naturopathic set of ideas and they have worked well as I've not had Covid or even a cold.  My prescription is to load up on Vitamin C, D3, zinc, magnesium and turmeric.  Make your own quinine as it's a natural immune booster or drink diet tonic water as it also contains quinine.   All these minerals and natural protections will keep you healthy and boost your immune system.  Cut out sugars and heavy carbs as they are toxins.  Exercise, fresh air, and sunshine are key along with meditation and prayer.  Our state of mind is just as important as what we ingest.  Negative thinking can make us sick so go out, take a long walk, and enjoy mother earth.  A holistic approach to our health care can't hurt, only help.  It's worked for me and others who walk my path.

Therefore, my friends, we are living in interesting times.  It's imperative that we pray for world peace, and we must put ourselves right with our creator.  We're in a worldwide shift, and I fear for our children and grandchildren.  The world is in a state of upheaval but there is hope and happiness to be had.  We must be on guard as we are on the precipice of global communism or the New World Order.  So, stand your ground and watch for the next shoe drop.  It's going to be a wild ride.  

Sedona 2022  

Boys Will Be Boys

This time last year, Bonnie and I were settling into our new life in Idaho.  We had been here for 8 months, and we were both still trying to get used to the stark differences we found in the high desert.  We loved the sunshine even in the cold, the new friends we had made and the daily walkies unobstructed by rain, slippery moss and too cold for comfort wind.  We were out and about practically every day.  We’d walk the mile around the block and then home to a snack and a nap (for Bonnie not Mommy.)  Bonnie loved her car rides to the post office, Chick-fil-A and an occasional drive to look at the scenery.  We sat out on the patio on warm days and contemplated our changed life.  We were together 24/7, we were best friends, and I miss her in ways I cannot even try to describe.

Sadly, this year she's gone and I'm still here.  I've got two new little boys living here with me now, two little rascals who are filling the deep chasm Bonnie left in my heart.  Getting used to these guys hasn’t always been easy, as two puppies are a challenge even in the best of situations.  I’ve found out I’m not as young as I used to be, and my patience tends to wear a bit thin.  This morning I could have sold them off to the highest bidder, but I looked in those big brown eyes and my heart melted all over again. You see, I’m a sucker for brown eyes and sharp teeth!  Anyone who claims I was taking on a huge job, raising two rambunctious puppies was correct.  They also did not apparently know me very well.  I took the challenge and I'm living with the changes in my life.  What the hell, I'm retired, I've got the time and the love to make this succeed.  

Every night I go to bed very tired and wake up in the morning with all my senses on high alert.  These two dudes are trouble with a capital T if I don't keep a close eye on them.  Terriers are special, and being a Scottie and a Westie, makes them even more "special."  To start with, they're smart, mischievous, and frankly indestructible.  Add to this mix a large dash of Scottish tenacity and voila, instant trouble.  The dudes have learned to walk on a leash.  Now that the weather is warming up, a daily walkie is imperative.  Just to tire them out is my number one thought and two, they need fresh air and exercise.  We have finally been able to walk around the small block I live on.  When we get home, they both flop down in their playpen with a huge grin on their little faces.  A cookie treat, and a long nap revies them for the next go round of high energy and lots of barking.  When they're tired, they talk to each other, laying down wherever they decide, and carry on like two teenage boys at a slumber party.  It's loud but amusing none the less.  The high volume on the TV is very noticeable when they nod off to sleep.

In my heart, I know Bonnie dropped these guys into my life for her own satisfaction.  I'd forgotten how wild a baby she was and the watchful eye we constantly kept on her. She used to fly from the couch to the chair to the floor and back again.  She was hard to keep up with but we survived!  Now I have a duo, and I keep asking myself, "oh my gosh what have I done?!"  Bonnie is probably laughing hysterically at me from the heavenly realms watching me react.   I can't keep a pair of socks or slippers on my feet.  The no chew spray keeps being applied everywhere, including my toes!

I'm very particular about the tidiness of my house, dishes sitting in the sink, dust on my furniture and yes, clean floors.  Some may say I'm anal retentive about my home as I've always had a pride of ownership.  365 days ago, my house was spotless and one could eat off my floors.  Not anymore, and I now have a huge investment in Clorox wipes, floor cleaning pads and Mrs. Meyers cleaning spray.  I'm simply going with the flow and figuring I'll get the carpets cleaned when these dudes are potty trained.   I also wash my floors every chance I get and stock in Swift Jet should be going up….  

Bonnie slept next to me every night and her comforting presence is still felt in the still hours of the early morning.  She helped me dry my tears and I can still feel her leaning against my back when I wake up.  It's weird to think I'm all alone at night as for so many years, there was always someone beside me.  It takes some getting used to but I finally like it and frankly, I sleep much better.  The dudes, however, have their own room and a crate to curl up in at night.  There they will continue to sleep for the rest of their lives.  They don't utter a peep when I tuck them in a night, and I do not feel any guilt they're in there by themselves.  It's simply a relief that they're okay, quiet and I can breathe calmly.  The crate idea was brilliant and thank you God for the inspiration!

The play pen is another Godsend.  I let the guys run the house for about 30 minutes at a time, as they tire themselves out running the circular route in my family room.  Throughout the day, the dudes return to the play pen, to rest and regroup.  They go in on their own, lay down and allow themselves a nice nap after a session of heavy-duty playtime. When I go out in the afternoon or evening, they have room to move, play and potty but I must however remember to close the latch.  I recently went out for an afternoon and came home to the boys greeting me at the back door.  They didn't destroy the house, but they did stretch the toilet paper in my bathroom out as far as it would go, and it goes a long way by the way...  So, note to self; before I leave the house, secure and padlock that gate!

In conclusion, the boys have slowly wormed their way into my heart and soul.  I keep telling myself that this time next year, they'll be calmed down and donning full breed appropriate Scottish beards and mustaches.  They will have a designated place on the back of the couch to watch the birdies in the back yard, much like Bonnie did.  They'll also be less their peanuts as an unneutered male dog is just not my style.  No humping or inappropriate actions here folks, this is a straight and narrow establishment!  The boys will be young men, still wanting my attention and I'm praying they won't be fighting over my lap like they do now.  We shall see but for now, boys will be boys, and they are just perfect for me.  This is love folks, that all-encompassing love that seems to have filled my heart once again and I am truly grateful💕

                                                Toby at his angelic best...

                                                 Stuart the handsome devil he is...

The Power of Love

The year 2022 is the year I named "New Beginnings."  I began 2022 with much thought, prayer and introspection.  I vowed to write about spiritual, uplifting subjects so I've decided this year I would dedicate this blog to the subject of love.  I'm not talking about romantic love, although we will touch on that subject here and there.  I want to concentrate on true love, that love that comes from the Divine Love of God.  Therefore, as we enter February, the month of love as amplified on Valentine's Day, we will kick off the theme by discussing how love has touched my heart.  So let's get started, jump right in and enjoy the moment...

The most powerful emotion in human history is love.  I can remember the first time I felt true love, the wonderful feeling I felt when the phone rang, and it was HIM on the other end of the line. I’d had boyfriends prior to HIM but he was love.  We dated for six years but sadly, he was not the type to commit to anyone and in those days, my early 30’s, I wanted to get married, raise a family and have a life with a committed partner.  That relationship ended and we both moved on.  I looked him up several years ago and found out he had gotten married, late in life like I did, and had died in 2006.  I hope he had lived a happy life, was fulfilled in his marriage and died happy and with peace in his heart.  I look back fondly on those six years as I grew up, matured and  I continue to remember the many blessings when thinking back on that relationship.  

When I finally got married, I had fallen in love again, and together we raised our one and only.  True pure love was revealed to me when I held that sweet baby for the first time and looked into her big brown eyes.  That was love and my one and only still holds my heart today as she did that day, almost 27 years ago.  The love we feel for our children is the most profound of loves.  We watch them grow up, help them pave their way in life and let them fly away when the time is right.  Loving parents do that I feel, with that little hole in our hearts remembering the special times we had, especially when they were small.   I’ve known helicopter mothers over the years, the overbearing grizzly mama bears that try to dictate to their children, their own unfulfilled dreams and ideas.  Living  my life through my child was never me. I have hopefully let my child pave her own way, make her own mistakes all the while knowing I’m here if she needs me.  In my humble opinion, and prove me wrong, this is how loving parents who want healthy children should behave.   

Now as I move forward, I’ll will love from afar, those who remain close to my heart.  I’ve realized over the last three or four years, true love lives in our hearts.  Divine Love radiates from those who are truly tapped into source, the One, that Love Energy from God.  As I have worked through the heartache from the loss of my third love, and the sadness it did not work out, I’ve come to realize that the true love of Spirit, is that which directs my life.  It is without exception, the most profound source of love.  I am one of the most blessed people alive.  I’ve experienced true romantic love 3 times, the love for a child and now I’m fully experiencing the true love of God.  I pray for those in my life who are experiencing what they feel as the lack of love.  Please begin to look within, search your heart, and you will find true love.  It's there, one just has to identify and embrace it and your life will change.  What I have now (and had all along) is I want to share with the rest of humanity.  Please contact me if you feel you need assistance tapping into source.  I will help you on your path to true love.

As I look at the world today, with its many conflicts, problems and fears based on man’s skewed intent, the love from the Divine needs to be restored in all corners of the world.  Where God is present, alive, and allowed to be recognized, is where we find love.  Some find it in churches and other places of worship, some find love when they look at a rainbow or see a shooting star.  Others, find love by tapping into their hearts.  As this stage of life, tapping into my heart and feeling the spirit of the Divine, is the way I have found God's love.  That Christ Consciousness is alive and well and is my source of contentment and peace.  It took me awhile to find it, recognize it for what it is and fully live in its presence.  My way may not be the right way for everyone, but it serves its purpose for me.  I’m not out to spread redemption and condemnation on those who do not agree.  Frankly, I resent those who’ve tried it with me.  The "my way or the highway" is not acceptable and this mindset is what has contributed to the problems we find in the world today.  My goal is to simply share what I have found, and to be at peace.

Therefore, as we march into February, the month of love, let’s begin to magnify the love and peace from the Divine.  Let us all keep our hearts and minds open to the infinite and let us all help spread peace on earth.  Each one of us plays a part, each one of us has a stake, we are all responsible for the environment in which we live.  Show love and have positive intent in each experience we create, and then perhaps, we will begin to change the world.   

Radiate boundless love towards the entire world - above, below, and across - unhindered, without ill will, throughout enmity - The Buddha

Kent WA, 2020

2022 The Year of New Beginnings

2021 is over, so now it's time to look at what's next.  2021 was the year I healed my heart and soul.  With the sad passing of my sweet Bonnie in December, nothing more of consequence was needed other than to begin again.  Healing my heart from the pain of break up and then Bonnie's unexpected transition was difficult, but life does go on, and I know my darling Bonnie wanted it that way.  I don't think we ever get over those who are profound influences in our lives, but we can move forward and never forget.  So, this January, I'm starting over once again but not forgetting those who still dwell in my heart

It's all of the sudden very quiet here.  Bonnie left a huge hole in my life and my One and Only has gone off to start her new life in Florida.  Here I am, truly an empty nester, living in the quiet stillness of my home.  I have plenty of time to think now, time to manifest what comes next by setting intentions, and manifesting what I'd truly like to have in my life.  We cannot live life without intention, goals and situations to look forward to.  We all need to have a purpose for how we want to live our lives and what we truly want in order to move on. 

When I originally started writing this blog post, I knew I wanted another fur baby to keep me company.  I enjoy living alone but I need a pet as I have not had some sort of animal friend in my life since I was three years old.  Plain and simple, my heart needs someone special to love again.  The search started, and I found a lovely brindle Scotty through the AKC website.  Lucky me, I manifested a fur baby!  On New Year's Eve, a breeder of Westies here in Meridian emailed me to say she has a baby available.  Apparently the original buyer decided against him as they wanted to wait for a spring litter.  After 2 seconds of hesitation, I emailed her back to say that I would take him!  Yup, I'm going to adopt two puppies and both boys will be moving in with me in early February.  Stuart, my Scotty, was born December 5, and Tobias my Westie, was born December 8.  Both boys were born the week my Bonnie left me, no coincidence I can assure you.  I know puppies will present their challenges, but I simply cannot wait to start the puppy process over again.  Pictures of my new little boys will be regularly posted on Facebook and Instagram.  I can't wait for puppy breath, cute little snores, and there is of course teething...  I have a dining room chair leg that still shows the signs of Bonnie's puppy teeth.  We'll remedy that this time fur sure.  Stewie and Toby are going to keep me very busy as I plan to sign us up for dog training classes.  These boys need to learn to walk on a leash, assimilate with other dogs and yes they must be properly potty trained.  These new little Scottish lads have already given me a new lease on life! 

I need golf and soon.  It's been too cold, windy, and snowy here to even contemplate a game, so my golf clubs are in the garage, ready to be dusted off for the first game in March.  Right now, I'm dreaming of warm days and maybe on a sunny afternoon, I'll go out and hit a bucket of balls.  At the end of the "season" I was proficient, so I want to be sure I still have my swing.  Shouting out to my golfing girlfriends, first week of March and we're back on the course, ready to rock and roll!

March will also give me the opportunity to go back to Sedona.  The red rocks and nice warm weather are calling me so I'm counting down the weeks.  The boys will have a babysitter and will be well taken care of.  I just hope they remember me when I get home.  See, more to look forward to!

The rest of the year will be fluid, no set plans until September when I fly off to Peru.  Look for pictures on social media with regular daily updates.  I plan to chronical this trip and give my friends a daily update, so no one thinks I fell off the cliff at Machu Pichu.  I have through the Ontiveros side, DNA that shows traces of South American Indigenous People.  Therefore, Peru is calling me, let's see if I connect with the ancestors.

At the end of the year, probably in November, I am looking forward to a trip to Florida to check on my one and only.  The summer heat and humidity of Orlando does not bode well with me, so my intention is to fly down and spend Thanksgiving.  I'm looking forward to a trip to Key West, Cape Canaveral, the Everglades, Disneyworld and of course visiting Marla in Sarasota!  

In conclusion, 2022 looks like it's going to be a great year and is now officially called The Year of New Beginnings!   I'll keep this blog going along with meaningful writing assignments I'm currently manifesting.  My intention is to complement the thoughts and ideas expressed on this site to other publications.  I am working to change to a different on-line venue as well. This site is uncomplicated but I feel as though I need a broader more diverse venue.  I'll keep you all posted but rest assured, I will continue to speak my truth, nothing negative and always remain up-beat and hopefully interesting.  Cheers folks and Happy New Year!  

Bonnie Jean and Nicholas ~ RIP My Darlings