What The Heck Is Going On?

We've been together eight weeks now, my two boys and me.  What a delightful change they've made to my life and yes, I'm constantly on my toes; 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  I need to remember to watch where to put my shoes, Kleenex box and anything else I want to keep for at least 48 hours.  These dudes can be destructive if left to their own devises.  The other night, I was able to peer in their little or not so little mouths, and low and behold, they're losing teeth!  Big gaps in their gums have appeared and little, tiny teeth seem to be sprouting.  Please God, make them not be as sharp!

Going outside is a big deal for these little fellows.  I had to install gates leading into my main yard and what a wonderful freeing feeling that is for both them and me.  They cannot get out as I've shored up any gaps under the fence line.  They love to chase each other around the yard with complete abandon, dig in my roses and catch some sun out on the rocks or more recently, my lounge chairs.  Every now and then, when they feel the need, they actually come in to rest and have a snack.  Its exhausting being a little dog in a big yard with freedom to move. Potty training is going well, not too many puddles in the house these days, as it's more fun to pee outside than on mommy's kitchen floor.  It's slow going but it's happening and there's a grooming appointment on the horizon very soon!

Meanwhile outside our little neighborhood, life still moves on. These days I like the rest of the world, have a interest in Ukraine situation.  The devastation being rained down on innocent people is tragic and this applies to both sides of the equation.  War is not pretty, and what is visible to the outside world is not necessarily a true picture of the situation. As I type, bio labs have been revealed and I can't help thinking that there is more to this than what meets the eye.  I for one am a skeptic and the need to know more has become a focus for me.  As a citizen of the USA and frankly the world, what is being manufactured in those labs, who's behind this, and where's the product going?  I have my suspicions frankly.  From what I've come to understand, these are not recent labs, they've been there for many years.  Who's been checking and monitoring these labs one may ask themselves?  The need to know seems to be more and more urgent.  The apparent question now is, what the heck is going on?

Gas has gone up more than $2.00 a gallon in the year and a half I've lived here.  Thank God I'm in Idaho, not California where its bank breaking expensive and who can afford $7.00 a gallon for gasoline?  Diesel is over $9.00 a gallon for heaven's sake! Food prices are soaring and if it's not apparent to anyone other than me, supply chains all run on... wait for it folks... fuel!   Clean energy is an option but it's not the end all, die all as some people seem to think. The Green New Deal is simply a pipe dream, and those who have studied the global economy know this to be true.  Our modern society relies on petroleum, this is a simple fact.  Plastics, fertilizers, calking, soft contact lenses, heart valves and many, many more products are all made from petroleum products.  Don't fall for the notion that petroleum is evil.  The petroleum industry makes our society run.  Even Elon Musk came out and stated we must be drilling for oil.  So, drill baby drill but do it safe for our environment and cost effectively.  

The mask nonsense continues even though no one here wears one.  I recently traveled down to Arizona and was forced to wear the stupid thing in the airport and during flight.  Passengers and the flight attendants all seem weary of this nonsense.  They don't do anything but cause zits, coughing fits and the inability to take a deep breath.  I was actually dizzy and couldn't breathe in the stupid #$$%*Ng thing.   With that thought in mind, the dreaded face diaper needs to go away immediately.  I just hope it's gone when I leave for Peru as it’s going to be a long trip not being able to breathe. 

If all the above is not bad enough, Fake News is still here folks and festering as normal.  Fake News is the enemy of the people.  Spewing their garbage has given us what we're facing today in this country and worldwide. Censorship is now rampant and alternative forms of entertainment have become the norm.  My friend Doc has had to abandon his Facebook show for a viewer subscribed internet forum.  The YouTube censors are after him as well along with many others.  This is censorship folks and it is scary stuff. Our world is in a state of uncertainty and frankly a free fall if we don’t come to our senses and see the truth behind the facades. Fake News created the lies we hear nightly and what I do not understand is how seemingly intelligent people believe their bull crap?!  But then again, there were a lot of very intelligent people in 1932 Germany who fell for a similar line of fertilizer.   

I am grateful to have awakened to the nonsense of the world today.  Having been awakened is very different than being "woke."  I've been awake for many years but over the last couple of years, I changed my thinking in a dramatic way and thus, changed my life.  I took the first two jabs last year but never again.  I don't trust the government doctors and by the way, where is the diabolical Dr Fauci hiding these days?  That little criminal is responsible for much of the garbage we've been fed.  I for one, have been following a naturopathic set of ideas and they have worked well as I've not had Covid or even a cold.  My prescription is to load up on Vitamin C, D3, zinc, magnesium and turmeric.  Make your own quinine as it's a natural immune booster or drink diet tonic water as it also contains quinine.   All these minerals and natural protections will keep you healthy and boost your immune system.  Cut out sugars and heavy carbs as they are toxins.  Exercise, fresh air, and sunshine are key along with meditation and prayer.  Our state of mind is just as important as what we ingest.  Negative thinking can make us sick so go out, take a long walk, and enjoy mother earth.  A holistic approach to our health care can't hurt, only help.  It's worked for me and others who walk my path.

Therefore, my friends, we are living in interesting times.  It's imperative that we pray for world peace, and we must put ourselves right with our creator.  We're in a worldwide shift, and I fear for our children and grandchildren.  The world is in a state of upheaval but there is hope and happiness to be had.  We must be on guard as we are on the precipice of global communism or the New World Order.  So, stand your ground and watch for the next shoe drop.  It's going to be a wild ride.  

Sedona 2022  

Boys Will Be Boys

This time last year, Bonnie and I were settling into our new life in Idaho.  We had been here for 8 months, and we were both still trying to get used to the stark differences we found in the high desert.  We loved the sunshine even in the cold, the new friends we had made and the daily walkies unobstructed by rain, slippery moss and too cold for comfort wind.  We were out and about practically every day.  We’d walk the mile around the block and then home to a snack and a nap (for Bonnie not Mommy.)  Bonnie loved her car rides to the post office, Chick-fil-A and an occasional drive to look at the scenery.  We sat out on the patio on warm days and contemplated our changed life.  We were together 24/7, we were best friends, and I miss her in ways I cannot even try to describe.

Sadly, this year she's gone and I'm still here.  I've got two new little boys living here with me now, two little rascals who are filling the deep chasm Bonnie left in my heart.  Getting used to these guys hasn’t always been easy, as two puppies are a challenge even in the best of situations.  I’ve found out I’m not as young as I used to be, and my patience tends to wear a bit thin.  This morning I could have sold them off to the highest bidder, but I looked in those big brown eyes and my heart melted all over again. You see, I’m a sucker for brown eyes and sharp teeth!  Anyone who claims I was taking on a huge job, raising two rambunctious puppies was correct.  They also did not apparently know me very well.  I took the challenge and I'm living with the changes in my life.  What the hell, I'm retired, I've got the time and the love to make this succeed.  

Every night I go to bed very tired and wake up in the morning with all my senses on high alert.  These two dudes are trouble with a capital T if I don't keep a close eye on them.  Terriers are special, and being a Scottie and a Westie, makes them even more "special."  To start with, they're smart, mischievous, and frankly indestructible.  Add to this mix a large dash of Scottish tenacity and voila, instant trouble.  The dudes have learned to walk on a leash.  Now that the weather is warming up, a daily walkie is imperative.  Just to tire them out is my number one thought and two, they need fresh air and exercise.  We have finally been able to walk around the small block I live on.  When we get home, they both flop down in their playpen with a huge grin on their little faces.  A cookie treat, and a long nap revies them for the next go round of high energy and lots of barking.  When they're tired, they talk to each other, laying down wherever they decide, and carry on like two teenage boys at a slumber party.  It's loud but amusing none the less.  The high volume on the TV is very noticeable when they nod off to sleep.

In my heart, I know Bonnie dropped these guys into my life for her own satisfaction.  I'd forgotten how wild a baby she was and the watchful eye we constantly kept on her. She used to fly from the couch to the chair to the floor and back again.  She was hard to keep up with but we survived!  Now I have a duo, and I keep asking myself, "oh my gosh what have I done?!"  Bonnie is probably laughing hysterically at me from the heavenly realms watching me react.   I can't keep a pair of socks or slippers on my feet.  The no chew spray keeps being applied everywhere, including my toes!

I'm very particular about the tidiness of my house, dishes sitting in the sink, dust on my furniture and yes, clean floors.  Some may say I'm anal retentive about my home as I've always had a pride of ownership.  365 days ago, my house was spotless and one could eat off my floors.  Not anymore, and I now have a huge investment in Clorox wipes, floor cleaning pads and Mrs. Meyers cleaning spray.  I'm simply going with the flow and figuring I'll get the carpets cleaned when these dudes are potty trained.   I also wash my floors every chance I get and stock in Swift Jet should be going up….  

Bonnie slept next to me every night and her comforting presence is still felt in the still hours of the early morning.  She helped me dry my tears and I can still feel her leaning against my back when I wake up.  It's weird to think I'm all alone at night as for so many years, there was always someone beside me.  It takes some getting used to but I finally like it and frankly, I sleep much better.  The dudes, however, have their own room and a crate to curl up in at night.  There they will continue to sleep for the rest of their lives.  They don't utter a peep when I tuck them in a night, and I do not feel any guilt they're in there by themselves.  It's simply a relief that they're okay, quiet and I can breathe calmly.  The crate idea was brilliant and thank you God for the inspiration!

The play pen is another Godsend.  I let the guys run the house for about 30 minutes at a time, as they tire themselves out running the circular route in my family room.  Throughout the day, the dudes return to the play pen, to rest and regroup.  They go in on their own, lay down and allow themselves a nice nap after a session of heavy-duty playtime. When I go out in the afternoon or evening, they have room to move, play and potty but I must however remember to close the latch.  I recently went out for an afternoon and came home to the boys greeting me at the back door.  They didn't destroy the house, but they did stretch the toilet paper in my bathroom out as far as it would go, and it goes a long way by the way...  So, note to self; before I leave the house, secure and padlock that gate!

In conclusion, the boys have slowly wormed their way into my heart and soul.  I keep telling myself that this time next year, they'll be calmed down and donning full breed appropriate Scottish beards and mustaches.  They will have a designated place on the back of the couch to watch the birdies in the back yard, much like Bonnie did.  They'll also be less their peanuts as an unneutered male dog is just not my style.  No humping or inappropriate actions here folks, this is a straight and narrow establishment!  The boys will be young men, still wanting my attention and I'm praying they won't be fighting over my lap like they do now.  We shall see but for now, boys will be boys, and they are just perfect for me.  This is love folks, that all-encompassing love that seems to have filled my heart once again and I am truly grateful💕

                                                Toby at his angelic best...

                                                 Stuart the handsome devil he is...

The Power of Love

The year 2022 is the year I named "New Beginnings."  I began 2022 with much thought, prayer and introspection.  I vowed to write about spiritual, uplifting subjects so I've decided this year I would dedicate this blog to the subject of love.  I'm not talking about romantic love, although we will touch on that subject here and there.  I want to concentrate on true love, that love that comes from the Divine Love of God.  Therefore, as we enter February, the month of love as amplified on Valentine's Day, we will kick off the theme by discussing how love has touched my heart.  So let's get started, jump right in and enjoy the moment...

The most powerful emotion in human history is love.  I can remember the first time I felt true love, the wonderful feeling I felt when the phone rang, and it was HIM on the other end of the line. I’d had boyfriends prior to HIM but he was love.  We dated for six years but sadly, he was not the type to commit to anyone and in those days, my early 30’s, I wanted to get married, raise a family and have a life with a committed partner.  That relationship ended and we both moved on.  I looked him up several years ago and found out he had gotten married, late in life like I did, and had died in 2006.  I hope he had lived a happy life, was fulfilled in his marriage and died happy and with peace in his heart.  I look back fondly on those six years as I grew up, matured and  I continue to remember the many blessings when thinking back on that relationship.  

When I finally got married, I had fallen in love again, and together we raised our one and only.  True pure love was revealed to me when I held that sweet baby for the first time and looked into her big brown eyes.  That was love and my one and only still holds my heart today as she did that day, almost 27 years ago.  The love we feel for our children is the most profound of loves.  We watch them grow up, help them pave their way in life and let them fly away when the time is right.  Loving parents do that I feel, with that little hole in our hearts remembering the special times we had, especially when they were small.   I’ve known helicopter mothers over the years, the overbearing grizzly mama bears that try to dictate to their children, their own unfulfilled dreams and ideas.  Living  my life through my child was never me. I have hopefully let my child pave her own way, make her own mistakes all the while knowing I’m here if she needs me.  In my humble opinion, and prove me wrong, this is how loving parents who want healthy children should behave.   

Now as I move forward, I’ll will love from afar, those who remain close to my heart.  I’ve realized over the last three or four years, true love lives in our hearts.  Divine Love radiates from those who are truly tapped into source, the One, that Love Energy from God.  As I have worked through the heartache from the loss of my third love, and the sadness it did not work out, I’ve come to realize that the true love of Spirit, is that which directs my life.  It is without exception, the most profound source of love.  I am one of the most blessed people alive.  I’ve experienced true romantic love 3 times, the love for a child and now I’m fully experiencing the true love of God.  I pray for those in my life who are experiencing what they feel as the lack of love.  Please begin to look within, search your heart, and you will find true love.  It's there, one just has to identify and embrace it and your life will change.  What I have now (and had all along) is I want to share with the rest of humanity.  Please contact me if you feel you need assistance tapping into source.  I will help you on your path to true love.

As I look at the world today, with its many conflicts, problems and fears based on man’s skewed intent, the love from the Divine needs to be restored in all corners of the world.  Where God is present, alive, and allowed to be recognized, is where we find love.  Some find it in churches and other places of worship, some find love when they look at a rainbow or see a shooting star.  Others, find love by tapping into their hearts.  As this stage of life, tapping into my heart and feeling the spirit of the Divine, is the way I have found God's love.  That Christ Consciousness is alive and well and is my source of contentment and peace.  It took me awhile to find it, recognize it for what it is and fully live in its presence.  My way may not be the right way for everyone, but it serves its purpose for me.  I’m not out to spread redemption and condemnation on those who do not agree.  Frankly, I resent those who’ve tried it with me.  The "my way or the highway" is not acceptable and this mindset is what has contributed to the problems we find in the world today.  My goal is to simply share what I have found, and to be at peace.

Therefore, as we march into February, the month of love, let’s begin to magnify the love and peace from the Divine.  Let us all keep our hearts and minds open to the infinite and let us all help spread peace on earth.  Each one of us plays a part, each one of us has a stake, we are all responsible for the environment in which we live.  Show love and have positive intent in each experience we create, and then perhaps, we will begin to change the world.   

Radiate boundless love towards the entire world - above, below, and across - unhindered, without ill will, throughout enmity - The Buddha

Kent WA, 2020

2022 The Year of New Beginnings

2021 is over, so now it's time to look at what's next.  2021 was the year I healed my heart and soul.  With the sad passing of my sweet Bonnie in December, nothing more of consequence was needed other than to begin again.  Healing my heart from the pain of break up and then Bonnie's unexpected transition was difficult, but life does go on, and I know my darling Bonnie wanted it that way.  I don't think we ever get over those who are profound influences in our lives, but we can move forward and never forget.  So, this January, I'm starting over once again but not forgetting those who still dwell in my heart

It's all of the sudden very quiet here.  Bonnie left a huge hole in my life and my One and Only has gone off to start her new life in Florida.  Here I am, truly an empty nester, living in the quiet stillness of my home.  I have plenty of time to think now, time to manifest what comes next by setting intentions, and manifesting what I'd truly like to have in my life.  We cannot live life without intention, goals and situations to look forward to.  We all need to have a purpose for how we want to live our lives and what we truly want in order to move on. 

When I originally started writing this blog post, I knew I wanted another fur baby to keep me company.  I enjoy living alone but I need a pet as I have not had some sort of animal friend in my life since I was three years old.  Plain and simple, my heart needs someone special to love again.  The search started, and I found a lovely brindle Scotty through the AKC website.  Lucky me, I manifested a fur baby!  On New Year's Eve, a breeder of Westies here in Meridian emailed me to say she has a baby available.  Apparently the original buyer decided against him as they wanted to wait for a spring litter.  After 2 seconds of hesitation, I emailed her back to say that I would take him!  Yup, I'm going to adopt two puppies and both boys will be moving in with me in early February.  Stuart, my Scotty, was born December 5, and Tobias my Westie, was born December 8.  Both boys were born the week my Bonnie left me, no coincidence I can assure you.  I know puppies will present their challenges, but I simply cannot wait to start the puppy process over again.  Pictures of my new little boys will be regularly posted on Facebook and Instagram.  I can't wait for puppy breath, cute little snores, and there is of course teething...  I have a dining room chair leg that still shows the signs of Bonnie's puppy teeth.  We'll remedy that this time fur sure.  Stewie and Toby are going to keep me very busy as I plan to sign us up for dog training classes.  These boys need to learn to walk on a leash, assimilate with other dogs and yes they must be properly potty trained.  These new little Scottish lads have already given me a new lease on life! 

I need golf and soon.  It's been too cold, windy, and snowy here to even contemplate a game, so my golf clubs are in the garage, ready to be dusted off for the first game in March.  Right now, I'm dreaming of warm days and maybe on a sunny afternoon, I'll go out and hit a bucket of balls.  At the end of the "season" I was proficient, so I want to be sure I still have my swing.  Shouting out to my golfing girlfriends, first week of March and we're back on the course, ready to rock and roll!

March will also give me the opportunity to go back to Sedona.  The red rocks and nice warm weather are calling me so I'm counting down the weeks.  The boys will have a babysitter and will be well taken care of.  I just hope they remember me when I get home.  See, more to look forward to!

The rest of the year will be fluid, no set plans until September when I fly off to Peru.  Look for pictures on social media with regular daily updates.  I plan to chronical this trip and give my friends a daily update, so no one thinks I fell off the cliff at Machu Pichu.  I have through the Ontiveros side, DNA that shows traces of South American Indigenous People.  Therefore, Peru is calling me, let's see if I connect with the ancestors.

At the end of the year, probably in November, I am looking forward to a trip to Florida to check on my one and only.  The summer heat and humidity of Orlando does not bode well with me, so my intention is to fly down and spend Thanksgiving.  I'm looking forward to a trip to Key West, Cape Canaveral, the Everglades, Disneyworld and of course visiting Marla in Sarasota!  

In conclusion, 2022 looks like it's going to be a great year and is now officially called The Year of New Beginnings!   I'll keep this blog going along with meaningful writing assignments I'm currently manifesting.  My intention is to complement the thoughts and ideas expressed on this site to other publications.  I am working to change to a different on-line venue as well. This site is uncomplicated but I feel as though I need a broader more diverse venue.  I'll keep you all posted but rest assured, I will continue to speak my truth, nothing negative and always remain up-beat and hopefully interesting.  Cheers folks and Happy New Year!  

Bonnie Jean and Nicholas ~ RIP My Darlings

Ode To My Very Best Friend

This morning I made the decision all pet owners who love their animals have to eventually make, and that was to say goodbye to my sweet Bonnie Girl.  You see, Bonnie was not just my dog and constant companion, she was also my best friend.  She was the last gift John gave me before he died.  I always laughed and said she was the only purchase I ever made on his credit card.  If he was here, he would back this statement up as absolute truth.

Bonnie came to us as an 8 week old puppy, flew to Seattle from a breeder in Tulsa. From the moment I let her out of her crate and laid eyes on this little lass, she held my heart in her paws for the next 8 1/2 years.  

Bonnie moved into our house and took it over like all Scottie dogs do.  My poor Nicholas had to watch his P's and Q's as Bonnie always had her eye on him.  They played like most doggie siblings did, but when it came to mommy, I belonged only to her.

Bonnie was a strong little soldier.  She was with me when John passed, when Mom passed and Bonnie was there with me over these last few months of nursing a broken heart.  Now her spirit will be with me as I grieve for her.  

We had plenty of adventures together, back and forth to Pullman to visit her Sis, over to Port Orchard for Christmas dinners and those daily walkies we both so enjoyed.  When I drove the long drive to Boise that fateful day, Bonnie sat in the back, in her bed looking out the window wondering where in the world we were going.  She loved her new back yard and loved chasing dogs and people up and down the fence barking.  She was the queen of her domain.

These last few months started to show something had changed in her.  She'd slowed down like most of us who are over 60 do in some form and fashion.  Her balance was off a bit and I started to notice the little things that age brings all of us.  The last couple days her feet started slipping out from under her and then I knew something more was wrong.  The doctor said she had a brain tumor, had lost feeling on her right side and was blind in her right eye.  This is no way to anyone to live, and my love for this sweet dog took over and I let her go.  She's at peace now and that's just the way I wanted it to be.  Her new existence is peaceful and filled with love.  

So my sweet Wee Bonnie Jean, rest in peace and I know I will see you again in another time.  Mommy loves you baby girl.  Go chase those birdies and squirrels and terrorize a cat or two.  You will continue to rule but in the heavenly realms.  

Wee Bonnie Jean 2013 - 2021

2021 - The Year of Blessings

Believe it or not, 2021 is coming to an end and 2022 is right around the corner.  Where did the last year go?  What did I accomplish?  What did I do to help shift humanity?  Does anyone else ask the same or similar questions?  It's crazy to think frankly, I have lived long enough to see 2022.  Every year seems to go faster than the last one and here we are, once again looking forward to a new year.   

2021 was certainly better than 2020.  When I think of 2020, I think about looking in the rear view mirror and seeing nothing but devastation.  The devastation of the world as a whole was staggering.  2020 was the year that was and never to be seen or spoken of again.  2020 simply sucked.  2021 was much, much better.  For yours truly, I started my journey toward enlightenment, learning the simple truths of life and saying no to ideas or people that no longer served me.  One lesson I learned early on was, if it looks wrong, smells wrong or is screaming wrong, it's wrong.  I learned to trust my still small voice that always said to take a step back and look at the big picture.  When I did, the answer was always crystal clear.

Relationships changed in 2021.  Those who did not show respect, kindness or the simple courtesy one affords to another, were changed out.  Oddly enough, some of those I thought were friends turned out to be nothing more than place holders for the real deal.  I'm proud to say I have made a ton of new friends here in Boise.  I have lunch or dinner out fairly often with the "girls,” and enjoy the simple fact that life is good.  I started to play golf weekly through out the "season," with a couple of wonderful ladies.  We've bonded and need badly to get together soon. I found another friend who loves to get out and laugh, drink a Bloody Mary or two and enjoy Sunday afternoons at a quaint wine bar playing Bingo and sometimes shopping the boutique.  My bestie Robin moved here in May and what a time we have had!  We have Christmas and New Year's Eve all planned out and 2022 will be the year we step out and part...tay!!!  So in essence, my social life here in Boise is better now than what it was, even when I was in my 20's!  I love it and no, I'm never bored.

My relationship with God changed, grew and became much more sacred.  The personal relationship I now have with Spirit is profound and frankly awe inspiring.  My intention for 2022 is to deepen my connection, stay true to what I believe and not be dissuaded by others who have a tendency to pontificate.  We are all entitled to our own opinions and beliefs.  No one should ever try to change another's mind that way.  If they do, then goodbye.

Bonnie and I continue on our health and physical fitness journey.  I must say, for two middle aged females, we're actually in good shape.  She loves her daily walkies and we try to get a mile in when the weather is cool.  The summers here are too hot to walk a low rider dog, so she stays home or I'll have to carry her back.  I continue to work out with a trainer who is not only my fitness guru but also has become a trusted friend and inspiration!  For a 66 year old, I look pretty healthy, all things considered.  No, I'll never be model thin again but damn, I've been told I'm pretty hot for my age.  I'll take the complement with a smile!

And finally, 2021 brought me peace of mind and a ending to my saga of sadness.  As I've mentioned in the past, I look for blessings in all experiences.  I have blessed the past and moved forward.  I am at peace and feel contentment in all areas.  The past is over, done and in my rear view mirror.  Life is too short to dwell on what we can not change.  I have forgiven and moved on and it's a great feeling.  Hell, look at all that came in my life from the situation I now call a blessing!  My life today would not be as it is without the "blessing" of that one person.  See, there is always a rainbow at the end of a storm.  

In conclusion, 2021 is almost over and it proved to be, as we've discovered, the year of change and blessings.  To all of those who have read my blogs this year, I can not thank you enough.  We'll see what 2022 brings as I hope it brings me new blog ideas and more writing opportunities.  My prayer to everyone is for peace in your hearts, and contentment in your souls.  Life is good and we will march forward together to even better.  Merry Christmas and Happy New Year my friends and here's to 2022!

More Than Enough

Remember the old SNL skit with Stewart Smally?  He use to say "you're are good enough, you're smart enough and doggone it, people like you!"  As silly as some of the skits on SNL are, this one is one that has resonated with me for many years.  How many of us have gone through life never thinking we were enough?  It doesn't really matter what we are enough at.  This blog is dedicated to all of those, including me, who have never felt like they were quite enough.  We're going to explore and stop this negative way of thinking by the end of this blog.

I was one from early age who never felt like they measured up.  I glossed over this a bit in my blog Fellow Weirdo's Unite.  I was always sort of the girl who didn't fit in as I was not pretty enough, smart enough, athletic enough, blah blah blah.  After I graduated from SMHS and found my bearings if you will, that feeling of not being enough continued but changed it's focus.  After high school I started dating and got good grades in college. I thought I had found my niche,  I had a good career but I never felt like I was quite enough.  The feeling of not being quite enough transcended into my day to day living.  I always felt second class, not quite there and frankly simply not good enough. 

In 1989, I started paying attention to what I believed and how I was feeling.   I badly wanted the chance to be a wife and mother and this I became.  I was married for 19 years and then then sadly became a widow.  Over these last 8 years after John died, I have done a lot of soul searching and have begun to see the world in a whole new way.  I began to finally live the life I was meant to live and I have started to become me, the me I was meant to be.  Now that I've bared my soul, I'd like to share a few ways I recreated my thoughts and ideas and hopefully some who feel like I did will take heart and apply some of my life lessons. 

• You are who you are, you are whole, perfect and complete in the eyes of God.  Basic and true.
• Live for you, no one else.  
• No one else's ideas or opinions about you matter.  This includes parents, teachers, siblings, spouses or friends.
• Morality does matter so live by the Ten Commandments of Life. These basic truths can be found in all spiritual thought of substance.  I'm not preaching, just saying. The truest words ever written still survive 5000 years later.  Find a Bible and look them up, Exodus 20:2-7 to be exact.  
• No one is worth your time if they have no interest in you.  Respect, love and kindness must be mutual between all of those you call a friend.  If not, perhaps you need to reevaluate that relationship and move on.  These people are those Energy Vampires and I've mentioned them in the past.  They are not worthy of being your friend.
• Your self worth should NEVER be found in another's idea of you.  Not much more needs to be said.  Over the years I thought I found my self worth in what others thought of me.  Once I opened my eyes and realized my self worth is found in my heart and soul, my thoughts shifted.  It's a freeing feeling.
• Look into your heart and you'll find the Divine Source for all life.  God lives in each and every one of us, look within and you'll find the greatest gift ever given.
• We are given free will by grace, use it wisely.  
• Give thanks every day and look for the good in all situations. Gratitude is a gift from God. 
• Forgive others and yourself.  Forgiveness is not always easy but necessary in order to move forward to my final thought, that is...
• Look for all the blessings in life.  Every situation should move you forward to the next.  Blessing those situations and people will elevate you to the next level.  Trust me, I've done it and feel at peace.  

So dear friends, my life lessons in a nut shell handed out with love and grace. I plan to capitalize on these life lessons as we move forward into 2022 and beyond.  As our lives are constantly in a state of growth and change, be mindful and listen to your heart.  This is where you will find ultimate peace.  

Sedona Rainbow September 2021