Facing Our Fears

As we move into the year 2023, I've been pondering the subject of fear, the fears I have for the future, and the fears I've had over the last ten years.  As I reflect, so many of the fears I had at the beginning of 2013 and beyond, have resolved themselves and I've moved forward.  Therefore, the subject for my January blog is fear and how do we resolve those fears without driving ourselves completely crazy.  As normal, this is my story, I can only share it and hope someone reading this blog will take heart and take the steps necessary to face their own fears.

In January of 2013, John was not feeling well.  He was losing weight rapidly and I kept asking him if he was on a diet, knowing full well he wasn't, as I was cooking all the meals.  He could hardly eat and finally in February we found out he had pancreatic cancer, and the outcome would not be positive.  We stuck together as a family; he conquered each day with courage and dignity but sadly he passed away 10 months later.  When I think back now, he was as fearful as I was, but at the time he said he was not.  The fear of the unknown is one of the worst fears of all.  It wasn't an easy time for us, hurt feelings on both sides, profound sadness, and the fact I had no clue what I was going to do when the end came. I was next to my dad when he passed on but never had to even fathom the thought of finding a husband no longer breathing.  I feared that day for 10 months and when the time came, what I saw was peace.  I felt peace in the room as well, as he had been staring and talking to what I then and now perceive as spirit guides and angels in the corner of the ceiling.  When I found him, I knew he had moved on to a better place as those angels had taken him home.  Cancer had not beaten him; it only took him back to his oneness with God.  I believe he feared death, but there was no fear in his face when he transitioned onto his next journey.

The last ten years, after that terribly sad day, has been a roller coaster of fears, intense anxiety in some respects, and now simply peace of mind.  What I found by conquering my fears of the unknown is that, by placing one's trust in God hands, is the only way to conquer fear.  Franklin D Roosevelt said: "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."  Oh, how true.  The Universe can handle anything we think is too big, of little significance or what we perceive as a burden. God will never let us down.  Put your fears in God's hands and let it be.

I knew when it was the right time to leave Washington State.  I left the life I had built for twenty years behind me, to build a new life here in Idaho.  My timing was impeccable but trust me, I feared the pure unknown before me.  I really knew no one here other than my realtor and a couple of acquaintances I knew fifty plus years ago.  Kristina was an off again, on again roommate, and I knew she'd be moving out eventually.  But once again, I put my fears in God's hands and have been blessed beyond measure over these last two and a half years.  My greatest blessing is in Florida now, we've conquered our first Christmas apart, not without a lot of tears mind you, and we're both on to our new challenges.  My fear of being alone has been conquered as I'm now blessed with love and support from many good-hearted kind new friends.  My fear of driving too far in the snow has been put behind me, as I now can successfully drive in inclement weather without even a whimper.  I recently drove the dudes out to Boise for their grooming and it was snowing buckets!   Snow driving is going to become second nature soon.

Fear of forming deep and lasting relationships has always been a fear I've faced, probably since high school.  I've been let down more times than I can count, and I'm sure I've most likely let a few down myself.  The many good-hearted people I've met on my life journey, however, have warmed my heart and soul.  I was afraid of being alone this Christmas and low and behold, I was blessed by two friends who shared dinner, participated in provocative conversation, and all the blessings Christmas day continues to bring.  Whenever I put my fears in God's hands, I always have a happy outcome.  I'm grateful beyond measure.

These days, I fear for the future.  It all seems so tenuous, so fragile, so out of the normal realm of our natural state of mind.  The world is undergoing continued upheaval, a great reset, enveloped by a cloud of uncertainty and anxiousness.  I am an awakened soul, as are so many who know of the same mindset.  Our trust in a positive outcome is now once again, in God's hands.  I know the outcome will be fine, as it should be, but we have a bumpy road in front of us.  All we can do is trust and let it be.  Therefore, Happy New Year my dear friends and may God continue to bless America and the world beyond.

When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me

Seeking words of wisdom, let it be, let it be.

~ Lennon and McCartney ~

Da Boyz Looking toward 2023

Enjoy The Moments

I'll confess up front, this month I've had a case of writer's block.  The topic and content for the month has eluded me, as has the want to sit down and write. I enjoy writing, it's become my newfound hobby but, I struggle with the relevance of these blogs, the topics I wish to explore and frankly I worry they've become stale and boring.  How many topics can one produce every month and stay true to one's heart and soul?  How many thoughts and desires do I have that I want to express on paper for the "world" to read?  I honestly don't know, but tonight as I was pondering once again, the idea for this month was to simply enjoy the writing process for what it is, and the energy that is assisting me to express my thoughts on paper.  Therefore, this will be a blog for enjoyment purposes only so bear with me if I ramble and please enjoy the moments!

2022, for yours truly, has been an interesting year as I've raised up two wild babies into wild men and, reconnected with a friendship I thought was lost forever.  Frankly, I began to weed out those who are of toxic energy, while adding to my sphere of influence those who are upbeat, kind and portray mirrored beliefs and attitudes.  Those who are of positive energy, love and kindness are those who have become trusted and lifelong friends.  I've also found out that spirit has an interesting sense of humor and I keep laughing at the wonders that continue to unfold. 

To begin with, I started this year with tears in my eyes, missing my Bonnie Girl and trying to figure out what to do next.  I wanted another dog, but how soon?  The two terrorists arrived by February 5th and the enjoyment of the moments, good and bad, has been amazing.  Bonnie and I enjoyed our moments, but I'd forgotten the pure enjoyment that little boys will bring into your life.  The dudes are grown up now, both have turned a year old, and they're settling down to be normal terrier dogs.  We still have a way to go, and I will keep my sense of humor.  I'm trying not to sweat the small stuff, like the holes in my lawn, the torn to shreds plug off my heating pad or that pair of new socks with the chew holes.  Toby my Westie is a dapper little dude, sweet, kind and a rascal.  His beautiful white fur is usually silver as dirt sticks to him like glue and he hates being bathed.  It doesn't help that the grass is his favorite rolling place, unless it's bird poop or something worse.  Stuart on the other hand is built like a linebacker for the Seattle Seahawks.  He's about forty pounds now, and if he wore pants, he'd have a gut and a plumber's butt.  He's also a lap dog, as sweet as sugar and funnier than hell.  I love these dudes; we enjoy our moments with each other (them for the treats and me for the pleasure of their company).

Enough of my canine companions as I have more to express regarding those enjoyable moments.  This past year, I've learned to enjoy the moments presented to me.  Eighty percent of the moments in our lives are those we should embrace with gusto and enjoyment.  Living in the moment is the easiest way to enjoy life.  I've stated this fact before, but once one puts the past behind them and lets the future take care of itself, the present enjoyment of each moment can be attained.  It's okay to reminisce upon the good times in life.  The memories these special moments hold can assist us through trying times.   Since it's the holiday season, I tend to remember past Christmas's with long gone family and friends.  I've always said I'd give anything for one last Christmas with my parents and grandparents.  I can't do that, it's not possible, therefore now I hold tight to the new memories and enjoyable moments I'm spending with those close.  The one and only doesn't live close by anymore, so we will enjoy Christmas in January in sunny Florida.  Meanwhile, I will spend Christmas here in the cold with my boys, and my blessed friends.  Yes, I wish she were here, along with her dad and grandparents but it's okay, it's all the way the universe planned our lives.  

With all this said, Christmas is in three weeks from this writing.  I'm not a holiday type gal frankly, it's overhyped and overrated.  What I am is an enjoy the moment girl and I plan to do just that!  Therefore, to end this blog, this last tome of 2022, let's begin to focus on enjoying our lives again.  Now that Covid is put behind us, let's begin to truly focus on making memories, travel, and enjoying the moments the divine puts in our path.  Life is for living, to enjoy, to embrace with gusto and to make precious memories.  Merry Christmas dear friends and Happy New Year. 

Love, like life, flows through the heart.  Feel the thrill of the flow and say nothing.

~ Rumi

The Boys Age One 

Dare To Dream

I'll admit, this month I've had writer's block. As November is our "D" month, to be perfectly honest, I wasn't sure where to begin.  We all have dreams, plans, goals and ideas therefore, I decided on the title, Dare to Dream.  From our dreams, what is it we want to manifest? What is it we really want or need?  Manifesting is a way to create those dreams into real life.  Before I begin however there is a caveat to this blog that I need to mention up front; I am not a manifesting expert.  I am relating what I have learned over the years through my spiritual studies and the journey I've walked in this thing we call life.  With this said, I have a beloved friend who is the master manifester!  If anyone after reading this blog is interested, contact me and I'll put you in touch with one of his manifestation courses. You'll truly be amazed at what you will create after going through his study.

Beginning Again has always been my story and experience, no one else’s since I can only speak for myself in this blog, we can only dissect my dreams.  Dreaming of new adventures, new friendships and ideas are all included in my current manifestations. I've been so blessed in my life, it's hard to believe I'm still on the "dream journey," and wanting to continue to add to my joy.  Thank goodness for my dreams, as there is so much to live for and believe in. Love, happiness and peace surround us all, but we must believe in our dreams to make them real. Part of manifesting our dreams is to identify what it is we really want.  It's not easy to be honest, as sometimes something that looks or feels wonderful can actuality be toxic and in the long run, not for us.  It’s important to understand and identify what we want, what it is we truly believe before we begin to manifest it into our experience.

So, what is it you really want?  For most of us it's frankly all the above and then some.  I'm still young, I'm still enjoying life and I'm still trying to make it all happen.  Traveling is my big dream, I still want to go to Peru, but one more trip to Scotland seems more reasonable.  I also want to see the United States, as I have never traveled as much around this great country, as I would have liked.  Seeing Niagara Falls, the great Smokey Mountains or NASA in Houston are my current dreams.  I'd like to visit where my grandmother was born, up in the Ozark region of Arkansas, and see the area in Carthage TN where my Lancaster's migrated from.  A trip to Yellowstone, Jackson Hole or Sun Valley, which are all close to home, are all dreams ready to happen.  Now that I've stated my dream trips in the USA, I now affirm they will happen.  The intention is there, I will follow those dreams.

What are some other dreams on my plate?  I have read and studied the current situation in this country and the world and couldn't be more dismayed at what I saw.  I have faith that people are waking up and will rise out of their comfort zone to make a change for the better.  This is a dream of mine as I don't want our children and future grandchildren to grow up in lack or oppression.  I am one who's been a student of history and history is repeating it's self again my friends.  Anyone with a scintilla of common sense should see this and wake up to the fact that there is something terribly wrong happening in this world.  The dream our founders had, way back 250 plus years ago, was liberty and freedom.  Our freedoms are disappearing as fast as lightning.  Twenty years ago, freedom of speech was never as much challenged as it is today.  Although we have all have differing opinions, chastising or bullying did not happen.  We had a mutual respect for each other's beliefs but now it's all gone to crap (I'm not innocent either just to be fair and I've torn apart a few who lean into socialism).   I've been bullied over my views and frankly at this point, I don't give a fat rat's ass what anyone has to say to me anymore.  My dream is to let go and and dream big.   My dream is the fix what's broken and make America great again.   My dream and the dream of many patriots just like me, will manifest itself into reality.  I have complete faith in the divine as how could God turn his back on the greatest experience ever dreamed up?

Dreaming big is the goal we should all embrace.  Manifesting what we dream is an art and one which I'm still learning.  My current manifestation for us all is to get back what we've lost as a nation, a civilization and frankly as a people of the creator.  Give thanks to God for our blessings, the ability to put them into action and dream.  Meanwhile, dream big, live large and give thanks to God from whom all our blessings flow.  

Happy Thanksgiving.

I think beautiful things are about to happen.  I trust that.  I feel it.  I believe it.  ~  Rhonda Bryne 

The Courage to Change

Welcome to October folks!  Fall is in the air, and we have three more months until we begin a new year.  2023 seems daunting but possibly welcome to some of us.  This month we will discuss the letter C, the month we explore change and the courage it takes to make changes.  I'm an expert on this particular subject, as I've made a few changes over the last two- and one-half years.  It's not been easy, but it's worked for me, and I've learned so much about myself and others in ways I'd would never have known.

Change is constant, change is good.  The reasons behind change may not always be positive but once we make those changes, the better our lives will be.  Two and a half years ago, I decided to make a few changes in my life.  As my readers know, I packed up my life and with a heavy heart left my home and friends of twenty years and moved to Boise.  I still wonder where I found that courage, but deep in my heart I knew that this was going to be a positive change.  It's been a bit of a rocky road these past two years. What seemed solid turned to dust, the constants changed but all and all, this change was worth it, and my life has moved forward.  

Change takes courage.  Ernst Holms wrote: "If we do not like our outer circumstances, conditions, or our personality, the place to change is right within our own mind."  Those words of wisdom, written almost a hundred years ago, still apply to our lives today.  We can change all our outer "stuff", but the real, profound, meaningful change will need to come from our hearts.  

I changed my heart and I'm still making those changes today.  The other day I woke up and realized that I was still living with a hardened heart.  I'm trying to change that hard heart into acceptance and love.  It's not been easy, and no one said it would be.  The road to Oz may have been golden but Dorthey was still in Oz when she reached the Wizard's palace.  I'm still in my Oz, but the sun is shining and there are many rainbows on the horizon.  

I'm not alone with these sorts of feelings and living experiences.  Therefore, I offer a few ideas to my friends as to how I have been able to find the other side of the rainbow and lighten my heart.

• Accept the What Is. We all have a story, use that chapter that didn't work out as a growing experience.  I have and I'm moving forward.  What seems easy is usually not but with courage and determination, there is a light at the end of that dark tunnel.
• Change is good, be creative when you're making those life changes.  I wrote down five places where I could live, and Boise seemed to make the most sense to me.  I wanted mild winters, sunshine, and good and decent people to get to know.  God granted me all these things and I'm eternally grateful.
• Look deep in your heart and accept what was and begin the journey to start anew.  What is now for me is a great life, two little terrorists that live in my house and a multitude of good friends who love and respect me for who I am, just I as love and respect them.  There's been a few that have fallen by the wayside, but this is healthy as we sometimes need to weed through the negative to find the positive.
• Look for the Divine daily, find it in your heart and your heart will change.  God lives in all of us.  The Bible says we were made in the image and likeness of God.  That is true and God's energy is embedded in each one of us.  
• Finally, that blessing of courage and change can be one of our greatest experiences.  If we don't change, we become stagnant.  When I moved here it was with the clear intention of not becoming stagnant.  I have far surpassed stagnant and almost wish for a few stagnant days.  Our blessings are real, look within and they'll show themselves to you in the most obvious ways.  

Therefore, my friends, October is for change, courage and being creative when we find that courage to make our changes.  We're in the season of autumn, the leaves are changing, the weather has cooled off and guess what, changes have been made for us without our "help!"  God takes care of everything, and we need to give thanks for the indwelling of spirit and the love of the Divine. 

  

The Last Link To The Past

The last link to my childhood left me when I heard about the death of Queen Elizabeth II.  She was always there, always a stalwart presence in my life and if I was bored, there was always plenty of reading material about her and her family to devour and keep me busy for a few hours.  This being said, the passing of Her Majesty yesterday, removed the last puzzle piece of my childhood, a link on the celestial chain to my grandparents and my proud British heritage.  My DNA will stay intact but that link to yesteryear is gone now and never to return. 

Therefore, I'd like to offer my recollections about the queen and the links I have that will stay with me forever.

My maternal grandparents were British, both born during the reign of Queen Victoria.  My grandfather was born in Newcastle and my grandmother in London.  Both emigrated to the United States in the early part of the last century, both became American citizens, and both never forgot their British roots.  I never met my grandfather, but my mother and grandmother always said he was a proud Victorian age man, who's love for everything British was apparent in his daily life.  My grandmother was the same but became more American as she grew older.  Both, however, loved the King and country and later the Queen and country and always remembered where they came from, their life circumstances, and life left behind in England.

When I was just a little girl, I remember when we learned to sing My Country Tis of Thee.  I remember singing it to my grandmother who to the same tune, sang God Save The Queen.  That was my first "link" if you will, to my heritage.  The Queen herself became a presence in my life from that day forward and, when I heard of her passing, I will confess, I shed a few tears as my childhood link was gone.  Therefore, as I type this blog, I'd like to offer a few memories of the Queen from this American's perspective.  

First, the Queen was a true lady in every way.  She carried herself as a lady should, was discreet with her speech and loved her husband.  From what we the public could see; she was a lovely well-bred British lady of whom the people adored.  If I could only be a tenth of the lady she was!  

Second, she was not born to be the Queen.   By accident of birth and her uncle's abdication, she became the Queen.  Did she resent her path in life?  Who knows but she carried out her duties in the way a queen should do, and the British people appreciated it.  She was bound by duty and tradition, and she carried out her lot in life with grace and love for the country.

Third, throughout her life she faced many challenges.  Her family has had its share of scandals, but whose family doesn't have a few problems.  Charles and his marriage woes brought him down a notch or two in the eyes of the public, especially with his treatment of Diana.  He's had a few other issues that because of his "position" became known to the public.  The problem with all this, however, is do we know the truth?  No, we don't.  We only know what journalists have written, what The Crown portrayed, and who knows where they got their information.  We as the public judged without ever knowing the full stories and frankly, we never will.  The Queen held her head high, kept up with the duties of her position and I'm sure downed a few G&Ts when no one was looking.  

Forth and finally, the Queen brought stability to the UK, was a great proponent of British life and was the calming face for the British people.  She was a fabulous spokesperson for the UK tourist trade of which I've partaken four times and plan for a fifth next fall. 

Therefore, as we watch Britan go through their time of morning of a great lady, let's try to remember, Queen Elizabeth was a human being, a wife, mother to the new king, grandmother to the future King William, and the great grandmother to the future King George.  I will morn her passing in a way unique to an American of British heritage.  I promise to give the new King Charles III a chance to be a great king.  He has large shoes to fill but he's been training all his life for this time in history.  Let's wait and watch to see how he and Queen Camilla guide Britian through the next step.  This being said, let me be one of the first to say, God Save the King. 

Teatime In South Shields, Newcastle on Tyne, 2016 

Birthday Blessings

September is here folks, the ninth month of the year and it's also the month I celebrate my yearly trip around the sun. Last month, we embarked on a 26-month alphabetical study on our journey to begin again.  This month, I'd like to explore blessings, the blessings we can find in our lives, and all those blessings we sometimes ignore or take for granted.  To do this, I'll open my heart and life to share the blessings I found that have become important and enriching.  Hopefully, mine will be an example for you, dear reader, to explore in your own life.  So, let's get started, jump in and enjoy the journey!  

The blessing of my Boise life is better than I would have ever dreamed.  The heat of the summer is finally behind us, but I am one who enjoys the sizzling summer days.  I will admit however, fall is starting to sound like a great idea.  Boise is hot, much hotter than I would have imagined but I've got a great tan and my garden thrived for another season.  My little boys are growing up.  The chewed molding has been repaired and there are no more wet spots on my floors or area rugs.  Their crate is dry in the morning and the frantic play times have decreased.  Puppyhood is becoming a thing of the past and honestly, I'm ready for some adult time.  The blessing these guys have given me is that they healed my heart after Bonnie's death and have allowed me to love again.  I miss her but the dudes are a huge source of pure enjoyment and pleasure.  I love them to death and I'm looking forward to a long life spent with them.  Doggie kisses and hugs are simply the best!

The blessing of getting old is profound and it is not for sissies, as my dad used to say.  I'll admit that he was correct.  Those little aches and pains that used to pass for a too hard of a workout are now regular occurrences.  The eye wrinkles are getting a bit more pronounced and that stubborn ten pounds does not want to go away.  I'm not one to complain and plastic surgery is not an option, so I'm embracing these changes as I move forward to the next stage of life.  These wrinkles are now my blessings as they show a life that was well lived but the journey is far from being over.

The blessing of good friends is one of which I'm fortunate to have.  I have a large circle of wonderful, like-minded people I seem to constantly interact with.  We can all laugh, tell a war story or two and we have all blended together well.  My social life is like a teenager's again, and I must keep my calendar up to date or I'll mix up my various activities.  My golf game has improved as I play every week.  Someday my handicap will be one of which I'm proud of but for right now, let's just say I'm improving.

My creative life has become a blessing and I have started allowing myself quality time to write and put together ideas to help other women walking my same path.  The blessing here is that I've found a wonderful new friend with whom I can share ideas and positive energy.  I look forward to many long years of friendship and support with my friend Colleen.

So, in a nutshell, just waking up every morning, looking at the yellow roses peeking in my bedroom window and thanking God for another day, is a blessing in itself.  The adage of stopping to smell the roses is profoundly true in my garden and my life.  We should all keep a gratitude journal and write down something we are grateful for daily.  Once we identify these things that we are grateful for, they become blessings and enrich our lives in so many ways. Therefore, my friends, count your blessings and enjoy life.  Make September your blessing month.  I'll be interested in what kind of blessings you all identify and please leave comments on this venue or Facebook.  I also post a link to this blog on Instagram, so blessing comments are welcome there as well. I'm excited to read what people share, there's a blessing in every situation. God's blessing to each and every one of my readers.  XXOO

May you be blessed with warmth in your home, love in your heart, peace in your soul and joy in your life. 

~ Irish Blessing

Authentically August

This month we are embarking on a twenty-six-month alphabetic topic study to explore our new normal as we begin again.  Beginning Again is not just my story anymore but the story for so many of us "aging" baby boomers who are trying to navigate the waters as we move into our senior state of being.  The last twenty-four months of spilling my guts in this blog have taught me much about myself, my thought process, and my life as I once knew it.  When I embarked on this journey two years ago, I had no idea where it would lead me, the uncertain road I have traveled and the new state of wonder where I currently reside.  Therefore, I have decided that it is time to become more outspoken about what I have learned, what I have become, and a bit more of my journey toward that unspoken road to the next life.

This month, as it is the first month on this path, the month of August, and the letter A is the first letter in the alphabet, we will explore being authentic.  Two years ago, I wrote a blog titled Becoming Our Authentic Self.  Two years ago, I was just a novice in this new awakening.  Now that I have traveled a path that has led me to new endeavors, new friendships, home city, and an entirely new spiritual path, I feel like I can better discuss authenticity.  I was out of my "comfort zone," my old thought patterns had me holding back what I genuinely believed.  I had to change my thinking and now I have the confidence to speak in a bolder more honest way than I was able to before.  So, let's take that leap of faith and begin again with the word Authentic!

Being authentic is not just being true to yourself but to all of those who we know and love.  Being authentic means being who you are, in body, mind and attitude.  Watering yourself down for others to like or accept us is no longer acceptable.  Nine years ago, I was living the life I thought I was supposed to live.  I had done everything society deemed I was meant to do; get married, have a kid, a dog (or dogs), own a house, yada, yada, yada.  Nine years later, now that all the dust has settled, I have learned that all of "that" was okay, and I'm not ready to become a dried-up old crone.  In the olden days, or in Biblical times, a widow became just that and stopped living.  I refuse to dry up and go into hiding.  I have the need to look and feel young.  I am young at heart and some of the young ones at the gym ask how old I am!  

So how do we live in a young state of mind while being authentic?  We must first stop comparing ourselves to others.  We are all different and have different learned attitudes and lifestyles.  Try new endeavors, new adventures, and new ways of thinking.  I love to travel and have no trouble going on my trips alone.  I've joined some provocative zoom courses over the last few years and have met some interesting, exciting people.  My entire state of mind changed, and my way of thinking changed 180 degrees.  So, get out of your comfort zone and learn something new!

Being authentic also means to stand in our truth.  We need to be able to speak our mind and not be afraid.  Frankly, I've been called a lot of names over time, but I spoke the truth and I am not ashamed.  The world is going to hell in a hand cart folks and it's time those with common sense stand up for what's right and speak out.  I'm not saying we need to demand repentance and convert.  I'm saying we need to stand up for our country, our rights as citizens of the United States and the world.  We need to state the truth and be bold as we march forth. Currently, we're leaving our children and grandchildren a mountain of debt, violent cities, and unparalleled confusion.  I've stated this often over our 48 months together, but I'm glad my parents and grandparents didn't live to see what's happened to our country.  Those who fought and died for the United States would be appalled.  This is tragic folks; we should be ashamed for being asleep at the wheel and letting this monstrosity of socialism happen to the greatest country in history.  The road to socialism leads to communism and we're moving full speed ahead.   Sad fact but truth, nonetheless.

Therefore, to end on a final bold note, go forth and conquer your fears!  Get out and be who you were meant to be.  God did not make us to be any other way!  Set your intentions daily, create a gratitude journal, and manifest what you truly desire.  You will find these steps will give you the courage to become who you are truly meant to be.  We are all whole, perfect, and complete in the eyes of God.  Spirit sees us as authentic, as we are all made in the image of the divine.   Who could be more authentic than that!

Freedom Is Not Free

Two trips around the sun have gone by since I took the giant leap and moved to Idaho.  I have discussed more than once that my perspective on life has changed greatly as I've laid bare my heart and soul over these last two years.  Taking the opportunity to express my thoughts, "wisdom" (or not so wise in readers eyes), and ideas has been a challenge.  With the way the world is today, I'm a bit reluctant to say too much as I'm afraid I'll offend someone.  The backlash can be frightening, and I've been called a few names I won't repeat. Therefore, now that my third Idaho summer has commenced, I have again had time to ponder and reflect on life as I now know it.  Therefore, the ideas I will express below are examples of the stage of life I have found myself at now and moving forward I hope to grow even further.  I am one who tries not to judge, although I'm not perfect in that regard.  I just ask that those who judge me by my comments below, not be too harsh.  We're all different, have differing opinions and frankly isn't this what life is all about?  

• Life is whatever you make of it.  Yes, we all get delt a bad hand of cards, experience boredom or depression but it's up to us to fix these things and make them better.  No one, nothing can do this other than you.  Trust me when I say this as I've had not always had a rosy time of it.  I changed the way I thought and opened my mind to innovative ideas and challenges.  As Ernst Holms says, "change your thinking, change your life." I am not bored, unhappy or depressed, I'm too busy for those feelings.  Get out and go, experience life and don't dwell on the past, it's finished.  People will not come to you; you must go outside of your property line to meet interesting and exciting people and experiences.  Loneliness and boredom are emotions that are unnecessary, if one has a busy and fulfilled life.  There are many opportunities to be involved with if one pulls their head out and opens their eyes.  Volunteer at an elder care facility, animal shelter or church of your choice.  Go to the gym, learn a sport, or look for classes that hold your interest.  These days, one doesn't have to show up to a live in-person class but dial in on a zoom link, in your pajamas and enjoy.  The power lies in us, not others.
• Not everyone is going to like us, and this works both ways.  I've stopped trying to please others and now work to please myself.  This is not a selfish act if done with the right intention.  We must love and care for others but, if those others are not jelling with us, it's time to walk away.  God gave us all kinds of people, therefore, chose your friends wisely and enjoy the camaraderie and mutual satisfaction a great friendship brings to both parties.  We're not going always be someone else's cup of tea, but when we understand this concept, it's easier to move forward instead of trying hard to make someone like us and, vice versa.
• Keep an open mind to every opportunity.  Sometimes we can miss the greatest blessings if our minds are closed.  If I had had a closed mind, I would never have married my husband, dated the late great Mr. Wonderful or taken the giant leap out of my comfort zone and moved.  All three were blessings in their own way and I'm grateful for the experiences.  Count your blessings, fill your heart with gratitude and thank God every day for the opportunity of another day.
• Freedom to believe and choose is what makes us uniquely Americans.  Now, we don't have to agree and frankly I don't agree with much of what's happening today in the world.  I see a destruction setting upon our way of life; however, I've learned to wait, watch, and speak my truth as I might have a part in saving our country.  One does not have to agree but be respectful in your disbelief.  We can kill more flies with honey than with vinegar.  We do, however, need to stand in our truth and for our values, homes, family and country.  
• The United States of America is a great country.  Yes, we have had our share of problems and have made mistakes.  From my viewpoint, we've fixed many of those issues and moved forward.  In some areas, we're still a work in progress but, we've come a long way baby from what we were to what we are today! America was the greatest experiment ever created, don't destroy it because when it's gone, it's not coming back.  Socialism and communism do not work. Every time they're "tried" they fail.  Use Venezuela as a good example.  If that country looks successful, then go there, live and enjoy it.  Trust me, you're not going to like it and by the way, don't let the door hit you in the ass when you leave here.  
• Finally, freedom is not free.  We are on the precipice of losing everything we have if we don't wake up and get with it!  So many of our ancestors fought and died for our freedom and liberty.  Please, do not let them slip away because of bad leadership or blind ignorance.  Get out and vote, in mass, and take the opportunity to help save our country.  It's up to us, as no one will do it for us.  With this said, happy Independence month, and embrace the freedom and liberty we Americans and citizens of the world enjoy.  
• May God Bless America!

⚾️ For The Love of The Game ⚾️

Plain and simple, I love baseball. It’s not just the smell of Dodger Dogs, popcorn, or the sounds of the crowd. No, it’s more than that, baseball is embedded in my heart and soul. This month in honor of Father’s Day, we are going to explore America’s past time and the daddies who inspired us to love this magnificent game as much as they did.

One of my early memories with my dad was watching a baseball game on our little black and white TV when we lived in Pasadena. Dad was not necessarily a huge sports fan but, he did enjoy the game of baseball and more specifically the great Los Angeles Dodgers. I was just a little kid, five or six years old, but that memory of sitting with my dad is one of my happy memories.  It was a bonding time every girl has with a loving father. As I got older and, in my teens, baseball became my focus and my passion. I'd listen to the great Vin Scully announce the games, on my transistor radio, tucked under my pillow at night.  Dad would watch it with me when they were televised, but I was always the more enthusiastic one of the two of us. Many good times were spent in Dodger Stadium, watching the boys in blue play against those loathsome Giants or the subpar Mets. When I was working, vendors would give me tickets to a game or two every season. I usually took my dad to at least one game a year and we'd enjoy a Sunday afternoon sitting in great seats and enjoying each other's company.  Those were the days my friends and over the years, my love for the game continued.

When I met John, one of the items on my list for a potential husband, yes, I had a list, was he must like baseball.  Something I've learned since then is to be extremely specific with what you want to manifest.  I neglected to state I wanted to find a husband who loved the Dodgers.  I, however, fell in love with a New York Yankee fan.  How did this happen, I'm sure my dad asked?  No one who was a true Dodger fan would entertain the thought of marrying, little alone birthing the child of a Yankee fan!  That was blasphemy!  Well, I did and since then, 27 years later, the New York Yankees have been part of my life.  

So, how did a diehard Dodger fan live with a diehard Yankee fan, some may ask?  One just goes with the flow, does not rock the boat, and frankly watches them and enjoys.  Over the last 28 years, I have watched more Yankee games than I care to admit.  Frankly, I came to appreciate the Bronx Bombers for what they are, a great baseball team, a storied club, and a legend.  The Yankees have won more games in the World Series than any other team.  In 2008, we went to New York, to see a game in old Yankee Stadium.  I hate to admit it but it was magical.  Sadly, the line was too long to visit monument park, but we had good seats (John would have had it no other way) and the Yankees went on to beat the Twins that fateful night! We met my favorite Yankee, Mariano Rivera the day before, at his restaurant in New Rochelle.  We were so impressed at how gracious and nice he was.  He made it a point to greet every person in his restaurant and chat for a minute or two.  By the way, Mariano is the skinniest man I ever had the pleasure to put my arm around.  Yes folks, I have become a Yankee fan.  

When the Yankees would come to Seattle every year to play the Mariners, we would attend at least one game, the three of us together.  John and our one and only would watch one or two more in person, and experience that father-daughter bonding, that I experienced many years before.  To this day, 8 1/2 years later, our one and only is still a diehard Yankee fan and I know her daddy is proud of her.  This year she's going to see them in both Tampa and Minneapolis.  Her dad will be with her in spirit, sitting on her shoulder and cheering on their team.  This father - daughter baseball bonding continues, throughout the span of time.

After John passed away, I went back to nightly viewings of my beloved Dodgers, but I felt that missing link.  So now I have it timed where I can start the Yankees around 5:30 and catch up with the Dodgers at 8:05.  I have the best of both worlds and pay the price to watch my teams on MLB TV, whenever I want to catch a game. My life from April through October is baseball heaven.  Watching baseball is so much better than politics, and so much more comfortable than worrying about the state of the world.  The only angst I feel is if my team loses by doing something dumb.  It happens and yes, my emotions show and it's not always in a ladylike fashion.

So Dad, one can be a fan of both teams.  Yes, the Yankees are still the "enemy" of our beloved Dodgers but, the fun is there and hey, I don't have to pick sides!  I just go with the flow!  The magic of baseball still reigns in my home and thankfully my heart easily loves both teams equally.  Happy Father's Day, Daddy and let's hope for a Dodger-Yankee World Series this year and may the best team win! 

Daddy about 2011

 

Mother's Day Memories

 As I sit here and write this blog, I'm remembering my own mother and dear grandmother.  I think about both daily but around Mother's Day, their memories are even greater.  They both were invaluable in my life and had so much to say, and so much wisdom to impart.  The journey I've walked these last few years would have astounded both.  The fact I'm a mother, would have amused my grandmother and my own mother I think, went to her grave in disbelief.  You see, motherhood and marriage was never much on my mind or heart.  I was the "cat lady" in those days, the girl who had a bunch of cats.  I enjoyed my single life, worked hard, partied hearty and frankly, was living the dream.  It took a strong man, a decent guy and one with a work ethic to turn my head.  He was a baseball fan, although not my team so I figured why not, I could get involved!  So here I am, 29 years later, living the dream as a single girl again, someone's mother and happy in my space.  Crazy as it sounds, who would have ever imagined, my life has gone in a in full circle and I'm back to where I started.

As appropriate as the name of my blog is, Beginning Again, I truly have begun again.  No, I'm not out trolling for a date (I never really did that), or partying hearty (although lately I seem to have an active social life); I am back to enjoying my space, my life, and my new beginning in Boise.  Who would have thunk it!  What I've discovered is that, beginning again, this time on my terms, has been an amazing ride.  I started this blog two years ago, to heal my broken heart and move forward, and now I write for the sheer pleasure of writing and trying to make a difference.  I know my friends think I'm nuts, but frankly, standing in my truth makes me a little nuts.  I haven't got much to lose at this point, other than some of the "placeholders" that are tending to fall away anyway, or the phonies who I no longer have a tolerance for.  I have learned to enjoy my life again, with these two little boys who are keeping me hopping, the friends who have entered my life over the last two years and the memories I seem to be making regularly.  So how exactly did I do this?  What did it take for me to find peace of mind, a new path, and a new beginning?  

First, I decided I could care less what anyone thinks about me.  I mentioned this to my study group this week and they were rather surprised as who does this?!  Me!  I really do not give a flying you know what about what anyone thinks of me.  I live my life according to the Golden Rule, the Ten Commandments, and my heart knowledge.  I stand regularly in my truth and those who find that intimidating has fallen away.

Second, I know my heart.  I regularly listen to my Higher Self and understand what is right for me.  This is a practice and I'm still in the learning phase.  I am tapped in and so far, have not been steered wrong.  My dear friend Maureen St. Germain is a great teacher on this subject, check her out and her books.  She's amazing.  

Third, I have gained the wisdom to find my inner peace.  I know that everything that happens is for a reason, and I count my blessings daily.  What seemed like the end of the world two years ago, turned into a blessing of unimagined proportions.  No, I'm still sad about the way that "thing" worked out but see the blessing and have moved on.  I was on a Facebook Live Zoom call the other day, looked at the participants in the group and realized that that one person, acting as a conduit for the universe, brought all those people into my life.  These participants were all over the world, of various ages and backgrounds.  I would never have ever been in that group but for this one blessing.  Crazy, but a wonderful crazy all the same.

So back to Mother's Day and my own mother.  I owe her so much, love her and miss her desperately.  Over the last few years, I have wished over and over that she was still here.  My grandmother as well.  Nannie has been gone for thirty years, but I still miss her and her words of wisdom.  Knowing what I know now about her life through my genealogy studies, I have so many unanswered questions. Therefore, Mother's Day is not just about giving birth, but the nurturing, imparting of wisdom and being a friend to the most important people in a mother's life.  Through this journey of the last two years, I believe my one and only has discovered I'm more than just Mom, but a human being with feelings, fears, courage and tenacity.  I know she's followed my journey with an open mind and heart and has taken to heart these blogs.  I just hope she doesn't make my mistakes, learned from what I've done right and has been encouraged on her own journey.  I pray that mother's prayer for health, safety and peace of mind.  So onward and upward to all my mom friends, and Happy Mother's Day!

Mom with Nicholas and Bonnie 2013

I Was Insane

I've been a bit impulsive over the years, and at other times, it takes me weeks to make a simple decision.  That's just how I'm wired, and someone once told me I think too much.  I have found that the more I ruminate on the decision I'm trying to make, the less I understand myself, and the why's behind the hesitation.  Therefore, when my dear Bonnie died, I knew I would need another dog to love as I love dogs and their constant companionship.  Toni told me to get two," you need two," she said.  "Two will keep each other company!"  Other well-meaning friends told me I was crazy, as taking on two eight week old puppies would be enough to drive even the most stable among us insane.  Others said to wait, morn, grieve and get over the tremendous loss of such a faithful companion.  I however jumped, and was yes, impulsive!  Here I am, four months later asking myself the simple question, "Was I Insane?!"

Now don't get me wrong, I love these little monsters.  Anyone who follows me on Instagram will know, I'm crazy in love with these two boys.  Hell, they even have their own Instagram page "The Adventures of Stuart and Toby."  However, I must confess, I was crazy to take on these two terrorists at the same time.  My house, my yard and my life has been in a four-month whirlwind of emotions since day one.  The energy level is high here, from the time I wake them up at 7:00am until they go night night promptly at 10:00pm.  My senses are always on high alert, and forget about trying to write, read or meditate.  If I don't do that as soon as I get up, you can forget it.  

The other day I heard some odd scratching, I was not on my game you see, I was mentally elsewhere.  Most likely I was playing Words With Friends or Candy Crush.  When I finally decided to investigate the source of this odd noise, I found a corner of the molding in my family room, gnawed down to the woodwork.    Now, we have more chewie's in this house than in a small kennel.  Toby The Termite decided the corner woodwork was better tasting than the chicken flavored chewie, he has so fondly placed under my dining room table.  That corner is only the tip of the iceberg this guy has gnawed.  My antique wood lamp table, my desk legs, oh let's not forget the kitchen cabinet, my hands, and please do not let me forget the wood pillars out on the patio...  I had forgotten how "oral" Westies are.  My Nicholas did the same thing.  I remember, the branch of my lovely Camellia bush coming in my back door.  I think my husband got a good laugh, and an I told you so out of that incident.

My garden is a mine field of great opportunities for diggers, and terriers love to dig!  Last year I planted several peonies, one is now half dug up and leaves ripped from the roots.  The small hydrangea from last year's planting, appeared on my lounge chair and let's not forget the lilac bush has lost a couple branches.  My roses were temporarily in wire cages until the new wire fencing was finally installed around the entire yard.  The grass is the only area where they're allowed.  They can of course lay out on the lounge chairs as they provide a bird's eye view into the family room.  More than once I've felt two pairs of eyes, peering in at me.  They are nosey little terrorists and keep their eyes on me to see what's up or if the refrigerator door has opened! This is a 24/7 job for mom and relaxation is no longer on my radar. I am constantly on edge for what's next.

Now, they are very sweet, and the house training is actually going well for the most part.  My boy Toby has got the gist of it, but Stuart... well let's just say he's forgetful.   Stu has his good days and then there are the more challenging days.  I continue to forget Scottie dogs are stubborn and Stu is stubborn.  Let's just say, some days are better than others for both boys.  Therefore, I continue to keep towels in strategic locations in my main living area, and they continue to be used.  

Then there’s the climbing.  Climbing has become a new art for Toby as he is lighter weight with longer legs.  I have found him everywhere, investigating the top tier of the couches, on my mother cedar chest and yes, he's made it up to my bed when I'm not looking.  My bedroom is my sacred space, so normally they are not allowed in there.  They are sneaky you see, and the baby gate I have at bedroom doorway has been violated, more than once.  I've even found my muscular, squatty, short legged Stuart, sitting on the bed and how he got up there is anyone's guess.

Eating is another matter.  I'm going through puppy food faster than lightening.  OMG these dudes can eat!  Bonnie was a somewhat picky eater, not these two.  They continue to be on puppy food as they are puppies.  I have to lock them in the playpen with a frozen Kong, while I eat.  As much as I've tried, there are not any boundaries when it comes to my meals.  I must eat up at the bar now, not in my favorite chair.  Food is simply their favorite thing. 

With all this said however, I'm still glad I got two babies.  Toni was right, two is the best option.  When they poop out, they're adorable.  Toby likes to snuggle on my lap and Stu loves the couch (lots of blankets are covering it).  As I type, they're both napping in their respective stations in my office, snoring those sweet sounds and sometimes dream barks.  I love these two dudes, they healed the heart break over Bonnie, and have helped me move forward to my new beginnings.  Please remind me of this blog when I look at that corner molding and cry.  Help me remember how much I love them and not look back but to look forward.  They will grow up, I just know it...

My boy Stuart The Squatty Scottie

My Other Boy Toby The Termite 

What The Heck Is Going On?

We've been together eight weeks now, my two boys and me.  What a delightful change they've made to my life and yes, I'm constantly on my toes; 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  I need to remember to watch where to put my shoes, Kleenex box and anything else I want to keep for at least 48 hours.  These dudes can be destructive if left to their own devises.  The other night, I was able to peer in their little or not so little mouths, and low and behold, they're losing teeth!  Big gaps in their gums have appeared and little, tiny teeth seem to be sprouting.  Please God, make them not be as sharp!

Going outside is a big deal for these little fellows.  I had to install gates leading into my main yard and what a wonderful freeing feeling that is for both them and me.  They cannot get out as I've shored up any gaps under the fence line.  They love to chase each other around the yard with complete abandon, dig in my roses and catch some sun out on the rocks or more recently, my lounge chairs.  Every now and then, when they feel the need, they actually come in to rest and have a snack.  Its exhausting being a little dog in a big yard with freedom to move. Potty training is going well, not too many puddles in the house these days, as it's more fun to pee outside than on mommy's kitchen floor.  It's slow going but it's happening and there's a grooming appointment on the horizon very soon!

Meanwhile outside our little neighborhood, life still moves on. These days I like the rest of the world, have a interest in Ukraine situation.  The devastation being rained down on innocent people is tragic and this applies to both sides of the equation.  War is not pretty, and what is visible to the outside world is not necessarily a true picture of the situation. As I type, bio labs have been revealed and I can't help thinking that there is more to this than what meets the eye.  I for one am a skeptic and the need to know more has become a focus for me.  As a citizen of the USA and frankly the world, what is being manufactured in those labs, who's behind this, and where's the product going?  I have my suspicions frankly.  From what I've come to understand, these are not recent labs, they've been there for many years.  Who's been checking and monitoring these labs one may ask themselves?  The need to know seems to be more and more urgent.  The apparent question now is, what the heck is going on?

Gas has gone up more than $2.00 a gallon in the year and a half I've lived here.  Thank God I'm in Idaho, not California where its bank breaking expensive and who can afford $7.00 a gallon for gasoline?  Diesel is over $9.00 a gallon for heaven's sake! Food prices are soaring and if it's not apparent to anyone other than me, supply chains all run on... wait for it folks... fuel!   Clean energy is an option but it's not the end all, die all as some people seem to think. The Green New Deal is simply a pipe dream, and those who have studied the global economy know this to be true.  Our modern society relies on petroleum, this is a simple fact.  Plastics, fertilizers, calking, soft contact lenses, heart valves and many, many more products are all made from petroleum products.  Don't fall for the notion that petroleum is evil.  The petroleum industry makes our society run.  Even Elon Musk came out and stated we must be drilling for oil.  So, drill baby drill but do it safe for our environment and cost effectively.  

The mask nonsense continues even though no one here wears one.  I recently traveled down to Arizona and was forced to wear the stupid thing in the airport and during flight.  Passengers and the flight attendants all seem weary of this nonsense.  They don't do anything but cause zits, coughing fits and the inability to take a deep breath.  I was actually dizzy and couldn't breathe in the stupid #$$%*Ng thing.   With that thought in mind, the dreaded face diaper needs to go away immediately.  I just hope it's gone when I leave for Peru as it’s going to be a long trip not being able to breathe. 

If all the above is not bad enough, Fake News is still here folks and festering as normal.  Fake News is the enemy of the people.  Spewing their garbage has given us what we're facing today in this country and worldwide. Censorship is now rampant and alternative forms of entertainment have become the norm.  My friend Doc has had to abandon his Facebook show for a viewer subscribed internet forum.  The YouTube censors are after him as well along with many others.  This is censorship folks and it is scary stuff. Our world is in a state of uncertainty and frankly a free fall if we don’t come to our senses and see the truth behind the facades. Fake News created the lies we hear nightly and what I do not understand is how seemingly intelligent people believe their bull crap?!  But then again, there were a lot of very intelligent people in 1932 Germany who fell for a similar line of fertilizer.   

I am grateful to have awakened to the nonsense of the world today.  Having been awakened is very different than being "woke."  I've been awake for many years but over the last couple of years, I changed my thinking in a dramatic way and thus, changed my life.  I took the first two jabs last year but never again.  I don't trust the government doctors and by the way, where is the diabolical Dr Fauci hiding these days?  That little criminal is responsible for much of the garbage we've been fed.  I for one, have been following a naturopathic set of ideas and they have worked well as I've not had Covid or even a cold.  My prescription is to load up on Vitamin C, D3, zinc, magnesium and turmeric.  Make your own quinine as it's a natural immune booster or drink diet tonic water as it also contains quinine.   All these minerals and natural protections will keep you healthy and boost your immune system.  Cut out sugars and heavy carbs as they are toxins.  Exercise, fresh air, and sunshine are key along with meditation and prayer.  Our state of mind is just as important as what we ingest.  Negative thinking can make us sick so go out, take a long walk, and enjoy mother earth.  A holistic approach to our health care can't hurt, only help.  It's worked for me and others who walk my path.

Therefore, my friends, we are living in interesting times.  It's imperative that we pray for world peace, and we must put ourselves right with our creator.  We're in a worldwide shift, and I fear for our children and grandchildren.  The world is in a state of upheaval but there is hope and happiness to be had.  We must be on guard as we are on the precipice of global communism or the New World Order.  So, stand your ground and watch for the next shoe drop.  It's going to be a wild ride.  

Sedona 2022  

Boys Will Be Boys

This time last year, Bonnie and I were settling into our new life in Idaho.  We had been here for 8 months, and we were both still trying to get used to the stark differences we found in the high desert.  We loved the sunshine even in the cold, the new friends we had made and the daily walkies unobstructed by rain, slippery moss and too cold for comfort wind.  We were out and about practically every day.  We’d walk the mile around the block and then home to a snack and a nap (for Bonnie not Mommy.)  Bonnie loved her car rides to the post office, Chick-fil-A and an occasional drive to look at the scenery.  We sat out on the patio on warm days and contemplated our changed life.  We were together 24/7, we were best friends, and I miss her in ways I cannot even try to describe.

Sadly, this year she's gone and I'm still here.  I've got two new little boys living here with me now, two little rascals who are filling the deep chasm Bonnie left in my heart.  Getting used to these guys hasn’t always been easy, as two puppies are a challenge even in the best of situations.  I’ve found out I’m not as young as I used to be, and my patience tends to wear a bit thin.  This morning I could have sold them off to the highest bidder, but I looked in those big brown eyes and my heart melted all over again. You see, I’m a sucker for brown eyes and sharp teeth!  Anyone who claims I was taking on a huge job, raising two rambunctious puppies was correct.  They also did not apparently know me very well.  I took the challenge and I'm living with the changes in my life.  What the hell, I'm retired, I've got the time and the love to make this succeed.  

Every night I go to bed very tired and wake up in the morning with all my senses on high alert.  These two dudes are trouble with a capital T if I don't keep a close eye on them.  Terriers are special, and being a Scottie and a Westie, makes them even more "special."  To start with, they're smart, mischievous, and frankly indestructible.  Add to this mix a large dash of Scottish tenacity and voila, instant trouble.  The dudes have learned to walk on a leash.  Now that the weather is warming up, a daily walkie is imperative.  Just to tire them out is my number one thought and two, they need fresh air and exercise.  We have finally been able to walk around the small block I live on.  When we get home, they both flop down in their playpen with a huge grin on their little faces.  A cookie treat, and a long nap revies them for the next go round of high energy and lots of barking.  When they're tired, they talk to each other, laying down wherever they decide, and carry on like two teenage boys at a slumber party.  It's loud but amusing none the less.  The high volume on the TV is very noticeable when they nod off to sleep.

In my heart, I know Bonnie dropped these guys into my life for her own satisfaction.  I'd forgotten how wild a baby she was and the watchful eye we constantly kept on her. She used to fly from the couch to the chair to the floor and back again.  She was hard to keep up with but we survived!  Now I have a duo, and I keep asking myself, "oh my gosh what have I done?!"  Bonnie is probably laughing hysterically at me from the heavenly realms watching me react.   I can't keep a pair of socks or slippers on my feet.  The no chew spray keeps being applied everywhere, including my toes!

I'm very particular about the tidiness of my house, dishes sitting in the sink, dust on my furniture and yes, clean floors.  Some may say I'm anal retentive about my home as I've always had a pride of ownership.  365 days ago, my house was spotless and one could eat off my floors.  Not anymore, and I now have a huge investment in Clorox wipes, floor cleaning pads and Mrs. Meyers cleaning spray.  I'm simply going with the flow and figuring I'll get the carpets cleaned when these dudes are potty trained.   I also wash my floors every chance I get and stock in Swift Jet should be going up….  

Bonnie slept next to me every night and her comforting presence is still felt in the still hours of the early morning.  She helped me dry my tears and I can still feel her leaning against my back when I wake up.  It's weird to think I'm all alone at night as for so many years, there was always someone beside me.  It takes some getting used to but I finally like it and frankly, I sleep much better.  The dudes, however, have their own room and a crate to curl up in at night.  There they will continue to sleep for the rest of their lives.  They don't utter a peep when I tuck them in a night, and I do not feel any guilt they're in there by themselves.  It's simply a relief that they're okay, quiet and I can breathe calmly.  The crate idea was brilliant and thank you God for the inspiration!

The play pen is another Godsend.  I let the guys run the house for about 30 minutes at a time, as they tire themselves out running the circular route in my family room.  Throughout the day, the dudes return to the play pen, to rest and regroup.  They go in on their own, lay down and allow themselves a nice nap after a session of heavy-duty playtime. When I go out in the afternoon or evening, they have room to move, play and potty but I must however remember to close the latch.  I recently went out for an afternoon and came home to the boys greeting me at the back door.  They didn't destroy the house, but they did stretch the toilet paper in my bathroom out as far as it would go, and it goes a long way by the way...  So, note to self; before I leave the house, secure and padlock that gate!

In conclusion, the boys have slowly wormed their way into my heart and soul.  I keep telling myself that this time next year, they'll be calmed down and donning full breed appropriate Scottish beards and mustaches.  They will have a designated place on the back of the couch to watch the birdies in the back yard, much like Bonnie did.  They'll also be less their peanuts as an unneutered male dog is just not my style.  No humping or inappropriate actions here folks, this is a straight and narrow establishment!  The boys will be young men, still wanting my attention and I'm praying they won't be fighting over my lap like they do now.  We shall see but for now, boys will be boys, and they are just perfect for me.  This is love folks, that all-encompassing love that seems to have filled my heart once again and I am truly grateful💕

                                                Toby at his angelic best...

                                                 Stuart the handsome devil he is...

The Power of Love

The year 2022 is the year I named "New Beginnings."  I began 2022 with much thought, prayer and introspection.  I vowed to write about spiritual, uplifting subjects so I've decided this year I would dedicate this blog to the subject of love.  I'm not talking about romantic love, although we will touch on that subject here and there.  I want to concentrate on true love, that love that comes from the Divine Love of God.  Therefore, as we enter February, the month of love as amplified on Valentine's Day, we will kick off the theme by discussing how love has touched my heart.  So let's get started, jump right in and enjoy the moment...

The most powerful emotion in human history is love.  I can remember the first time I felt true love, the wonderful feeling I felt when the phone rang, and it was HIM on the other end of the line. I’d had boyfriends prior to HIM but he was love.  We dated for six years but sadly, he was not the type to commit to anyone and in those days, my early 30’s, I wanted to get married, raise a family and have a life with a committed partner.  That relationship ended and we both moved on.  I looked him up several years ago and found out he had gotten married, late in life like I did, and had died in 2006.  I hope he had lived a happy life, was fulfilled in his marriage and died happy and with peace in his heart.  I look back fondly on those six years as I grew up, matured and  I continue to remember the many blessings when thinking back on that relationship.  

When I finally got married, I had fallen in love again, and together we raised our one and only.  True pure love was revealed to me when I held that sweet baby for the first time and looked into her big brown eyes.  That was love and my one and only still holds my heart today as she did that day, almost 27 years ago.  The love we feel for our children is the most profound of loves.  We watch them grow up, help them pave their way in life and let them fly away when the time is right.  Loving parents do that I feel, with that little hole in our hearts remembering the special times we had, especially when they were small.   I’ve known helicopter mothers over the years, the overbearing grizzly mama bears that try to dictate to their children, their own unfulfilled dreams and ideas.  Living  my life through my child was never me. I have hopefully let my child pave her own way, make her own mistakes all the while knowing I’m here if she needs me.  In my humble opinion, and prove me wrong, this is how loving parents who want healthy children should behave.   

Now as I move forward, I’ll will love from afar, those who remain close to my heart.  I’ve realized over the last three or four years, true love lives in our hearts.  Divine Love radiates from those who are truly tapped into source, the One, that Love Energy from God.  As I have worked through the heartache from the loss of my third love, and the sadness it did not work out, I’ve come to realize that the true love of Spirit, is that which directs my life.  It is without exception, the most profound source of love.  I am one of the most blessed people alive.  I’ve experienced true romantic love 3 times, the love for a child and now I’m fully experiencing the true love of God.  I pray for those in my life who are experiencing what they feel as the lack of love.  Please begin to look within, search your heart, and you will find true love.  It's there, one just has to identify and embrace it and your life will change.  What I have now (and had all along) is I want to share with the rest of humanity.  Please contact me if you feel you need assistance tapping into source.  I will help you on your path to true love.

As I look at the world today, with its many conflicts, problems and fears based on man’s skewed intent, the love from the Divine needs to be restored in all corners of the world.  Where God is present, alive, and allowed to be recognized, is where we find love.  Some find it in churches and other places of worship, some find love when they look at a rainbow or see a shooting star.  Others, find love by tapping into their hearts.  As this stage of life, tapping into my heart and feeling the spirit of the Divine, is the way I have found God's love.  That Christ Consciousness is alive and well and is my source of contentment and peace.  It took me awhile to find it, recognize it for what it is and fully live in its presence.  My way may not be the right way for everyone, but it serves its purpose for me.  I’m not out to spread redemption and condemnation on those who do not agree.  Frankly, I resent those who’ve tried it with me.  The "my way or the highway" is not acceptable and this mindset is what has contributed to the problems we find in the world today.  My goal is to simply share what I have found, and to be at peace.

Therefore, as we march into February, the month of love, let’s begin to magnify the love and peace from the Divine.  Let us all keep our hearts and minds open to the infinite and let us all help spread peace on earth.  Each one of us plays a part, each one of us has a stake, we are all responsible for the environment in which we live.  Show love and have positive intent in each experience we create, and then perhaps, we will begin to change the world.   

Radiate boundless love towards the entire world - above, below, and across - unhindered, without ill will, throughout enmity - The Buddha

Kent WA, 2020

2022 The Year of New Beginnings

2021 is over, so now it's time to look at what's next.  2021 was the year I healed my heart and soul.  With the sad passing of my sweet Bonnie in December, nothing more of consequence was needed other than to begin again.  Healing my heart from the pain of break up and then Bonnie's unexpected transition was difficult, but life does go on, and I know my darling Bonnie wanted it that way.  I don't think we ever get over those who are profound influences in our lives, but we can move forward and never forget.  So, this January, I'm starting over once again but not forgetting those who still dwell in my heart

It's all of the sudden very quiet here.  Bonnie left a huge hole in my life and my One and Only has gone off to start her new life in Florida.  Here I am, truly an empty nester, living in the quiet stillness of my home.  I have plenty of time to think now, time to manifest what comes next by setting intentions, and manifesting what I'd truly like to have in my life.  We cannot live life without intention, goals and situations to look forward to.  We all need to have a purpose for how we want to live our lives and what we truly want in order to move on. 

When I originally started writing this blog post, I knew I wanted another fur baby to keep me company.  I enjoy living alone but I need a pet as I have not had some sort of animal friend in my life since I was three years old.  Plain and simple, my heart needs someone special to love again.  The search started, and I found a lovely brindle Scotty through the AKC website.  Lucky me, I manifested a fur baby!  On New Year's Eve, a breeder of Westies here in Meridian emailed me to say she has a baby available.  Apparently the original buyer decided against him as they wanted to wait for a spring litter.  After 2 seconds of hesitation, I emailed her back to say that I would take him!  Yup, I'm going to adopt two puppies and both boys will be moving in with me in early February.  Stuart, my Scotty, was born December 5, and Tobias my Westie, was born December 8.  Both boys were born the week my Bonnie left me, no coincidence I can assure you.  I know puppies will present their challenges, but I simply cannot wait to start the puppy process over again.  Pictures of my new little boys will be regularly posted on Facebook and Instagram.  I can't wait for puppy breath, cute little snores, and there is of course teething...  I have a dining room chair leg that still shows the signs of Bonnie's puppy teeth.  We'll remedy that this time fur sure.  Stewie and Toby are going to keep me very busy as I plan to sign us up for dog training classes.  These boys need to learn to walk on a leash, assimilate with other dogs and yes they must be properly potty trained.  These new little Scottish lads have already given me a new lease on life! 

I need golf and soon.  It's been too cold, windy, and snowy here to even contemplate a game, so my golf clubs are in the garage, ready to be dusted off for the first game in March.  Right now, I'm dreaming of warm days and maybe on a sunny afternoon, I'll go out and hit a bucket of balls.  At the end of the "season" I was proficient, so I want to be sure I still have my swing.  Shouting out to my golfing girlfriends, first week of March and we're back on the course, ready to rock and roll!

March will also give me the opportunity to go back to Sedona.  The red rocks and nice warm weather are calling me so I'm counting down the weeks.  The boys will have a babysitter and will be well taken care of.  I just hope they remember me when I get home.  See, more to look forward to!

The rest of the year will be fluid, no set plans until September when I fly off to Peru.  Look for pictures on social media with regular daily updates.  I plan to chronical this trip and give my friends a daily update, so no one thinks I fell off the cliff at Machu Pichu.  I have through the Ontiveros side, DNA that shows traces of South American Indigenous People.  Therefore, Peru is calling me, let's see if I connect with the ancestors.

At the end of the year, probably in November, I am looking forward to a trip to Florida to check on my one and only.  The summer heat and humidity of Orlando does not bode well with me, so my intention is to fly down and spend Thanksgiving.  I'm looking forward to a trip to Key West, Cape Canaveral, the Everglades, Disneyworld and of course visiting Marla in Sarasota!  

In conclusion, 2022 looks like it's going to be a great year and is now officially called The Year of New Beginnings!   I'll keep this blog going along with meaningful writing assignments I'm currently manifesting.  My intention is to complement the thoughts and ideas expressed on this site to other publications.  I am working to change to a different on-line venue as well. This site is uncomplicated but I feel as though I need a broader more diverse venue.  I'll keep you all posted but rest assured, I will continue to speak my truth, nothing negative and always remain up-beat and hopefully interesting.  Cheers folks and Happy New Year!  

Bonnie Jean and Nicholas ~ RIP My Darlings