Tally Ho and Away We Go!

Here I am, five weeks later, alive, alert awake and more than enthusiastic!  Six nights in the hospital, a two-unit blood transfusion (common but still it was me and nothing I had ever experienced before) and a fifteen-pound weight loss gives me plenty to share in this blog.  I've learned a lot over these past weeks and months.  This blog will serve as me sharing my insights and more as I venture forward into my new normal.  If my words resonate, please share it as I'm here to help anyone going through similar experiences.  There are a lot of us on this same journey, and I’ve joined several online groups for advice and support.  

I will never take my health for granted again.  I always thought I was infallible, in tip top shape, a healthy “35-year-old” and frankly Wonder Woman.  Folks, obviously this was not me, but my ego didn't want to accept it as aging with grace was not yet in my mantra.  Looking back, I've had this problem for at least eighteen months but perhaps even longer if I had paid more attention.  The tumor and cyst were huge, and how these monsters were fitting in such a small space anyone's guess.  Just the fact that they're gone is a relief to me and I am finally comfortable again. My lesson learned is do not take anything for granted, especially at this age.  One needs to address the issue immediately without seeming like a hypochondriac! Grow old with grace but understand we are no longer 35! 

The doctors assured me the tumor was located in one area, self-contained and had not spread!  This was and truly is a hallelujah moment for yours truly.   Thankfully my cancer was only in Stage Two, however there was still a lot of discussion about chemo. Doctors only see one side of the issue, I've seen both and have elected not to take chemo and treat myself instead.  I'm in good health, fit and still have all my marbles, so why destroy all of that if it's not necessary.  Chemo rots the brain and causes nothing but havoc in one's body.  In a couple of years, I may need to start it all over again, and this I would not do so therefore no chemo for me.  I'm pursuing the holistic route now and investigating various therapies and options. I'm on the journey to better health and better living.

A holistic doctor I found on-line has set up a good plan for those of us who have opted out of the traditional methods. Many people over 70, in good health elect not to pursue it.  Why at this point?  It seems unnecessary to be perfectly honest. Therefore, I'm taking his advice and I'm laying the plan out here for the world to see:

• Eat only clean and nutritious food.  Cut out all sugar, wheat/flour products, sodas (I never touch them anyway) and any bio-engineered food (another food I don't get near).  Drink filtered water and once a day put a 1/2 teaspoon of baking soda in the water as cancer does not live in an alkaline environment.  It doesn't taste bad but if a squeeze of lemon juice is added, it makes it a bit better.
• Movement is a necessity!  I will be returning to the gym in another two weeks and will be adding a 20 minute or longer walk on the treadmill to my routine.  When it finally cools off, I'll walk my neighborhood but it's too darn hot right now and frankly I have trouble with the humidity.  
• Sunlight is a good thing, in moderation of course.  Twenty minutes in the sun daily, is what's needed in order to allow the vitamin D to work efficiently.  I take a D supplement and living in Florida affords me plenty of sunshine and fresh air so out I will be in my yard, with my boys.  I love to garden so my pots will have plenty of attention!
• Rest is essential.  I'm an early riser so early to bed is also my new normal.  I'm not a napper so a good night of uninterrupted sleep is essential.  I want to be rested and feel at peace in order to start a new day.
• Healthy relationships are a must!  I'm open to new friendships and experiences but please leave anything with negative energy and toxicity at home as I'm not interested.  Surrounding oneself with healthy, grounded, self-assured people can only bring peace and harmony into one's life.  Toxic, immature, mean people should never be welcomed by anyone as they will make us physically and mentally ill.          
• Faith is the last and most important item on this list.  Without faith we have no purpose, without faith, we have only an empty, meaningless existence.  I've returned to the faith of my youth, and I am using Jesus as my compass, sounding board and my rock.  He's with us if we call on him.  He never left me; he just sat on idle until I woke up again.  His patience with me and his calm presence is what will be making this next chapter easier and more fulfilling.  

So, there we have it my friends, this is my new journey.  I am free of cancer, free of doubt, worry and free of toxicity.  I plan to grow old with grace, humor and plenty of wonderful family and friends. Only love and light will be allowed into my life.  Jesus is the way, the truth and the light.  He is my rock and I am thankful.

Now, faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not apparent.  Hebrews 11:1

By faith, we understand the world to be fashioned by the Word of God, so that the visible might be made by the invisible.  Hebrews 11:3

I Joined The Club

I haven't sat down to blog for quite a while as I've been busy enjoying the Florida lifestyle.  I wasn't sure if I was going to continue with this blog as I was running out of topics to write about.  I've tried to stay off politics as it's too divisive, my dogs were starting to get boring and frankly who cares what I have to say.  I'm just a small pebble in a big pond.  My life isn't all that exciting so enough seemed to be enough.  Therefore, I had decided a while ago to live and let live and move forward with the rest of my life.

But three or four months ago, I started to feel kind of off.  I was having trouble eating a large meal and my energy level was not at its normal high intensity.  I started to take a nap in the afternoon, and nothing tasted good anymore.  I'm not going to mention the other problems that started cropping up but suffice to say, it was getting ugly.  A month ago, after having a painful kidney infection, my stomach started to scream bloody murder so off to the doctor I went.  Now, I'm not one to visit the doctor for a scratch or sore throat.  I'm definitely not a hypochondriac but this was the real deal and I needed answers.  Much to my surprise and three doctors later, I found out this week, I've joined a new club, I found out I have cancer.  As I type, I'm still in a state of shock and my entire world seems to have been turned upside down.  I've had a barrage of doctor's visits, blood tests, image scans and MRIs.  My arms look like a pincushion, and my nerves are frayed.   The paperwork has been extensive and the price of all this has me chewing my nails.  Thank goodness I have the Medicare Plan G!  More than once this week, I've wanted nothing more than to hear my mother's voice telling me that it's all going to be okay.  Basically, I've been in the state of shock.

Over and over, I asked God why me and have waited for his reply.  I kept asking myself, what did I do to deserve this, who did I hurt or maybe I shouldn't have screamed obscenities at the TV while watching the news?!  I know I've been neglectful of family and friends but why is this my punishment?!  There was no immediate reply from God, just simply crickets.  But today, as I went through the pre-admittance process, my answers began to appear.   Words of wisdom from my wonderful friends have all resonated.  Bible verses and prayers all of the sudden appeared on my Facebook and Instagram feeds from random sites I follow.  God had appeared!  I quickly came to realize that I need to focus on healing and let go of the past, live in the present and trust God with the future. The past is called the past for that very reason, it's over and done with.  The future isn't here yet, but we must trust God with what he has in store for us.  Today is now, live for the moment and appreciate the blessings.  

I'm scheduled for surgery on Thursday June 25.  Please pray that the cancer has not spread and I will have complete healing.  I'm scared of the aftermath as I'm going to have an incision from my breastbone to my pelvic bone. I'll be in the hospital two or three days, and my sister will come home with me after the surgery. My lovely friends have all rallied around me and have promised us food, companionship and plenty of prayer. I've asked for prayer that I can tolerate the pain, and I'll be on my feet for the 4th of July celebration party.  Please pray if I need chemo, it will be minimal and my hair will remain intact.  I can't imagine what I'd look like bald (no jokes please).   Please pray for complete healing.  

I'm scared; but I WILL have 30 more years added to my life.  I WILL live to be with my grandchildren and those of my loved ones.  I WILL go back to Rome to visit the Vatican and marvel at the Sistine Chapel, and I WILL see the great pyramids of Egypt.  I WILL visit the Holy Land and walk the steps that Jesus walked.  The one and only and I WILL have another cruise and more fun times together.  I WILL take that cruise from Istanbul to Croatia, and I plan to enjoy every moment. I want this episode behind me, and I can't wait to participate in the bell ringing ceremony if God forbid, I need chemo.   I WILL conqueror this bump in the road and I WILL be an inspiration for others. I WILL be whole, perfect and complete, completely healed and back to the gym and lunch with the ladies in short order. My plan is to journal and blog as I move forward on this journey and concentrate on healing.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

"Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; Save me, and I shall be saved, For You are my praise"  

Jeramiah 17:14

2026 Here We Come

As 2025 winds down and we celebrate the holidays, I'm taking special note as to how different life has become over the last 12 months.  During this holiday season, I've been reflecting heavily on the past; the what Was's, the What Could Be's, the Whatever's.  Therefore to end 2025, we're going to look back, look ahead and stay in the present as we say goodbye to the year that was.

Frankly, to state up front, I'd give anything for one more Christmas with my family.  I'd give my eye teeth to sit in a room with my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, listening to the conversations, and hearing their voices once again. They're all gone now but for a couple of first cousins and of course my sister.  Sadly, I took for granted those times we spent together and wish I had more pictures from those days of old.  Looking through my pictures when I packed up and moved, I did not find one picture of my mom and I together in later years.  I have tons with my dad (Mom was always the photographer) but never one of just she and I.  If I could go back, I'd get a bunch taken with her to remember that place in time.   I have no pictures of my paternal grandparents with me either.  They died when I was young, but I remember them fondly and also remember standing for pictures.  Where did the pictures go?  Why are they not in the numerous boxes I found when Mom died?  Oh how I wish for one more time with them as well as I have so many questions, but not one picture.  What was, was but oh how I wish...

The what Is's goes without saying.  Friendships that could have been great, a marriage that could have been so much more fulfilling, past loves that could not stand the test of time.  Looking back, so much of it was my fault, my lack of attentiveness  and self awareness.  These are traits I need to improve in order to move forward in my life.  There were mismatches to be sure and I should have had the patience to accept them for what they were.  These what could Be's are sadly also in the past and remembered possibly not quite as well as I wish they could have been.    The what could Be's are simply now, sad memories, places in time that are no longer.  Now I use my love, patience, understanding and forgiveness as I play the waiting game for the next chapter. 

Therefore, this final blog of 2025 calls out my need to remember the past, as it's called the past for a reason.  The future is calling but not here yet so the challenge is to live in the present.  My life here in Central Florida is the perfect way to end a year of challenges and new beginnings.  This is where I plan to stay for the duration as I like it here.  It's late December and the very warm sun is shining, the birds are singing and my plants are potted for the winter.  Everything here is topsy turvy as in years past, we potted in April and planted our gardens after Mother's Day.   In the PNW, it's cold, raining and power outages are real.  Here in Orlando, it's the exact opposite and I love it (sorry Toni)!  I feel revitalized, alive and excited for what's next.  I've placed a few challenges on myself to move forward.  The 4 listed are just the beginning.  

1.  Return to the church and Bible study.  I've signed up for a year course with Father Mike Schmitz.  I bought the study book and my plan is to begin fresh on January 1.  I have signed up for his daily podcasts as they revolve around the study.  My return to the original church after 35 years has been a blessing to me.  I forgot how much peace of mind I had when I used to go to Mission San Gabriel.  That peace is still with me, but in a new more mature fashion.

2.  Journaling and blogging regularly is another challenge I've set for myself.  I got away from both over this last year or so and now I'll be back to boring my friends with my thoughts and ideas.  I'm also not staying away from current events or frankly politics.  It's time we bloggers and podcasters (I'm not a podcaster) speak our minds from our hearts.  The world is changing and it's time to speak up and be the voices of reason in a world that is falling into hell.  I will journal every day and set my intentions daily to live out my truth.

3.  I intend to be a better friend and sibling.  I will no longer be complacent as we are only gifted our siblings once.  Life is too short and at age 70, who knows how much longer we all have!  I also plan to be held accountable for my lack of staying in touch.  Each conversation could be our last so now's the time to reach out and treasure those we hold dear.  

4.  Finally,  I will step out of my comfort zone and meet new people.  I live in a vibrant community with lovely neighbors.  It's time I join in the fun and stop being a hermit.  I'm naturally shy so this is a huge step for yours truly as I'm comfortable in my pj's at 7:30pm.  My new normal will now be in my PJ's  by 9:00pm as I'll be playing bingo or walking the neighborhood!  My new Disney annual pass will pull me out of the house and will allow me to go to Mickey's house and experience the fun.

So here's to the future as we move forward.  2026 has the potential to be a fantastic year for those of us who are awake.  I woke up years ago and continue to be amazed at life, the world and what's beyond us.  Here's to what was, what is and what will be.  Cheers my friends to a marvelous 2026. 

The Florida Way of Life

I'm finally settling into my new normal here in Florida.  The 2600 mile drive from Idaho was the road trip of the decade and we saw more Bucees and Little Americas than I care to mention.  By the way, we stopped at one every chance we could for potty breaks, snacks or to browse the junk they had to offer.  The drive was interesting, and we noticed how different areas of the country tend to vary.  For instance, Wyoming is flat, very pretty and prone to rain and thunder storms.  Missouri and Tennessee on the other hand, are humid, with lots of hills and green trees.  I would have loved to stop in to visit with the Missouri cousins  but we were in a hurry and they seemed farther south than where we were driving.  We loved Nashville, everyone had that lovely Southern style one will only find south of the Mason-Dixon Line.  I want to visit Nashville again soon and explore the country bars and go to the Grand Ole Opry.  

I found out right away, Orlando is very different from Los Angeles, Seattle and Boise.  Florida is California on steroids weather-wise and to be honest I'm loving it.  Palm trees are in abundance, the greenery is fantastic and the sun shines bright.  I guess I should mention it's warm, very very warm.  The humidity is off the charts and it's only July but I'm okay with it.  By the way, two showers a day and plenty of perfume and  deodorant are a must, just saying...

I'm pleasantly if not wonderfully surprised as to how much I like it here.  I've been to areas close to my house that one could easily compare with Newport Beach or San Marino.  There are other areas where the old homes are fantastic, weeping willows and large horse properties are in abundance.  I forgot to mention there is a pond or lake everywhere.  I missed the greenery during my five years in Boise. 

Florida is the South,  I knew it would be geographically but wow, it's really the south.  Everyone is so nice, kind and very helpful.  Young and old alike call me ma'am and I like that to be honest and I don't feel like I'm an old crone or ready for a wheelchair.  The south has always been known for it's politeness and these are very polite people.  I love hearing the southern accents and being treated with the respect and kindness that was never in my west coast experience. People are friendly, want to talk and find out who and what you're all about.   I find this to be very satisfying.

Ice tea is a southern experience, so when one orders ice tea, always remember it's going to be sweet tea unless you specify it is to be unsweetened.  I am very careful with my sugar intake so overly sweetened ice tea is not my style.  Plus sweet tea is icky, and it's over kill if one happens upon a cookie or a piece of key lime pie.  Southern BBQ is in abundance and the potato salads are fantastic.  I've yet to try the ribs or southern fried anything but it's on my agenda along with southern style baked beans but no fried okra, yuck!

Now that I'm moved into my house, my porch sitting experience in behind the screens.  Sitting out in my lanai after dark is another Florida experience that is hard to explain.  My house backs up to a small jungle and the sounds coming out of it after 9:00 pm are hard to describe other than; I'll never venture over the fence and out into the hinterland of trees after dark.  Poor Toby is scared to be out there with me and Stuart braves the sounds as he feels the need to always be on guard.  The bugs are defiantly as big as cats here, and a wise friend told me straight out to get a screened in porch.  Thank goodness I listened as the first two weeks here, while I was living at the lake, I was chewed to bits by mosquitoes.  Now porch sitting is a comfortable, bug free experience although it's still hot at 9pm.

Every afternoon after the first of June, it tends to rain cats and dogs.  Please do not think I'm talking a simple sprinkle, or a Seattle rain storm.  This is a heavy downpour of Biblical proportions.  The wind will whip like crazy and the lightening and thunder is not for the faint of heart.  Recently the main water pipe from the street to my house was mangled.  It turns out it was a lightening strike!  Like I said, lightening is not for the faint of heart.  All this ex-Californian can say is;  what will a hurricane be like?!  Holy cow!

Publix seems to be the grocery store of choice.  I must admit, I miss Fred Meyer as I knew the layout of the store and all the products.  Publix is near the house and it's new, clean and it's very customer service oriented!  Some of the products in my Publix are very different than what is sold in the PNW.  I was strolling the aisles recently and found three or four different varieties of corn bread mix, fried chicken batters and even southern fried okra and grit mixes.  There are a lot of Caribbean foods that look interesting and I will try them out eventually.  With that said, I finally found my cast-iron pan and will need to re-learn how to cook fried chicken.

Wildlife is in abundance here in Central Florida.  The birds are gorgeous, and I saw my first gator in the large pond up the main road from my development.  He was floating in the water, giving a eerie presence.  I've been told some never see a gator and I saw one on week three, I'm definitely blessed! That being said however, never walk close to a body of water or walk a dog or two close either.  They don't pay much attention to outsiders unless you venture close to the edge so I'll keep my distance, thank you very much.

Driving here is the biggest challenge.  The roads are full of careless drivers who pay no attention to who or what is on any side of them.  I was told Florida is horrible place to drive and I believe it now that I'm here.  I'm very close to the Disney resort area so that's another breed of human drivers all together.  These are people who come from who knows where, have no clue as to how our streets and highways work and could care less.  It's scary and one takes their life in their own hands when they drive the streets near Disney!

Living in the eastern time zone has been a challenge. TV watching-wise, I've had to adjust my thinking to when The Five is actually on, Jesse Waters is not on during dinner nor is my favorite podcaster.  I'm now 3 hours ahead of my previous life and those 3 hours calls with my cousin now end at 1:00am.  Flights to London from Orlando are now only 7 hours, and I start my Words With Friends games earlier as everyone is still asleep on the west coast.  I'm used to it but I had to change my thought processes.  

Florida is most definitely a way of life.  I've been here a month and already have my tan back.  Outdoor exercising is something to do in the early morning or after dark during the summer months.  Tank tops, shorts and flip flops are most defiantly staples to any wardrobe and floppy hats seem to be the uniform of choice.  I'm not a hat wearer so I guess I'm out of style here.  Florida is casual, easy going and very friendly.  As glad as I am I made the original move out of the PNW, I'm more than happy with my choice of Central Florida.  My house is perfect, I'm completely unpacked and new location is awesome.  I've met several in this community and my new neighbors are all lovely.  Now that I'm a licensed driver and the car is registered, I can now call myself a Floridian but, I will NEVER EVER move again!  

This guy was fence sitting and enjoyed teasing the boys!

 

The Journey Begins

As Easter Sunday approaches, during this time of pray and contemplation, I've once again been thinking about my life.  I have many questions, thoughts and frankly some very real fears that keep popping into my mind as I plan for this journey southbound.  It's all starting to get real.  The house finally sold, movers set up, and even the boys have a mover taking them down to Sissy's house, ahead of my departure.  It's getting real folks, this 2800 mile road trip is my last big move.  The next one will be to be the the old age home but I'm not ready for that yet.  My plan is to live large for the next 20 plus years and enjoy every minute.

Moving again is not easy at almost 70.  I've enjoyed this house, but Boise simply didn't suit me.  The climate is too dry, too cold and the wild fire smoke every summer was horrible.  The little aches and pains are evident, and the thought processes are different this time.  I guess knowing this move is forever makes it even more daunting as there will never be a 40th, 50th or even 60th birthday.  80 is ten years from now, OMG!  My dad used to say that getting old is not for sissies!  No kidding, I'm starting to feel it.  

The worry and stress over the last few weeks have started to get to yours truly.  I'm doing this all by myself again, it's not as easy as it was 10 years ago when I moved from the Covington house to Kent, or even from Kent to Boise.  This time, I've been even more diligent in my planning, and I'm frankly extremely anal retentive.  The budget has been kept close to the penny and I've thought through every decision very carefully.  Money does not grow on trees so budgeting and careful planning have been my mantras.  I've needed a few things before I leave Boise as Florida living is different and these are necessities that need to arrive with me.  Ceiling fans I've been told are a big must, so three have been ordered and delivered as I want them to be installed immediately.  I got rid of a lot of furniture as I'm downsizing space wise in the new house.  I had a lot of stuff, some since college, it needed to be gone.  The beauty of this move is I'm going to buy some new furniture.  It's time to upgrade from my old used hand me downs, to new furniture that's more modern and durable.  I can't wait to furniture shop!

While purging and sorting, I came across some of my old books and even toys.  I found my Barbies and all her clothes.  If I wasn't so busy, I would have sorted the dresses and dressed up Barbie and Midge like I used to.  I found my Nancy Drew books, Stuart Little, the 8 Ball and a ballet bag from when I wanted to be a ballerina.  I never did get the dance lessons but 65 years later, I still have that shoe box!  I found cards and letters, sweet remembrances of my grandparents and friends from years past.  I found all my old record albums, school papers and a couple of dirty books I snuck in the house that my mother never found.  They all hold memories dear and without this move, they would have been tucked away forever.

Thank goodness Toni is taking this "road trip" with me again.  Driving to Orlando alone does not appeal to me.  It's going to be a long, three day journey but we will laugh, talk smack, stop for fast food and enjoy each other's company as we always have.  A better friend could not be found and I pray we see each other more than what we have over the last 5 years.  Hey, I'm four miles from Animal Kingdom and the beach is an hour east of me.  Disney is close and the new EPIC Universal is right next door.  

The resources and activities Florida has to offer are endless.  Cape Canaveral is close by and from what I've come to understand, the space launches can be seen from my back yard.  I do plan to drive over to see one up close and personal but it would be nice to watch from the comfort of my patio.  I want to see an alligator but not in my yard.  Manatees are abundant as are plenty of birds.  It's going to be humid, I'm prepared and I hope I'll be better preserved as I do not want to look like a dried up old prune in 10 years.  Hopefully the humidity will keep the wrinkles at bay.  Christmas in 80 degrees is starting to sound better and better!

All told, this is a positive move for it being my last one.  Who would have thought my forever home would be in Winter Garden, Florida! Hey, Florida is a solid Red State so I'll adjust quickly.  Therefore I'm getting excited, anxious and frankly a bit scared but it's going to be great.  Let's get this show on the road and let the journey begin!

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways, acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.  

~Proverbs 3:5-6

Happy Birthday In Heaven

As I type this blog, I'm thinking about my mother as today would have been her 100th birthday.  It's amazing to think about and as she always said; "you know what that makes you!"  She was 30 when I was born, so enough said.

Mom was a sweet loving soul.  She loved my dad without reservation and was always his biggest champion.  She spoiled him rotten; he loved it and I know he repaid her in kind.  Dinner was on the table every night by six, after of course a glass of wine or cocktail and discussion about his day.  He always said he'd never trade her in as it would be too hard to train a new model.  That would have been impossible as my mother was one of a kind.

Mom gave us 100%.  She was the best cook I knew of and still today, can't be beat on her chocolate cake, molasses cookies or Christmas treats.  She would bake tons of cookies at Christmas and would give boxes of them as gifts.  They were always enjoyed and never a crumb was left behind.  We always had plenty, always food on the table and a kiss good night, every night.  My mother was one of the most loving souls on the planet.

As they got older, they traveled extensively first in their RV, then driving trips by car and hotel stays along the way.  Finally, they traveled by train, through Canada, the east coast and back to Los Angeles.  When my dad lost his eyesight, Mom was in the driver's seat and happily drove them wherever their hearts would take them.  At 80, they followed the Mississippi down from St. Paul to New Orleans!   We would get postcards from their different destinations, and I still have them packed away as they are treasures that I could never let go of.  They loved their Hawaii visits to see the grandchildren who lived so far away.  I'd get a two-hour phone call when they returned, telling me of their adventures and how much the kids had grown since they'd last visited.  First, they'd visit the family on Lanai, then they would retreat to Molokai to recharge and enjoy the quiet of the island.  When they were about my age now, they rode the mules down to Father Damion's leper colony.  It's been closed for many years and at last check it's a museum at the bottom of a steep hill that only mules can access.  I cannot imagine that journey at my age and I'm fit and active.   Mom and Dad were exceptional.

Their last twelve years were spent close to us in Washington.  Mom was not going to let Kristina live too far away as she was bound and determined to be a part of her life.  I'm eternally grateful for this as they helped me out more than I could ever have imagined.  Kristina got to be close to one set of grandparents and loved them like I did my own.  Mom and Kristina had a special bond, and I know that Mom is watching over her, laughing and shaking her head at the same time.  She loved Kristina with all her heart just as she loved her other three.  My mother was one of the most devoted grandmothers I know of and I hope to emulate her someday with one of my own.  I know Nikki, Kelli, Richard and Kristina greatly miss them both and remember them with love in their hearts.

My dad left us in 2012.  Mom never did recover from his passing.  She was with me when John died, and for that alone, I can never thank her enough.  She held Kristina and I together and kept us sane.  I retired in early 2014 and was with her consistently until she passed in November 2014.  We spent a lot of time together in those last months. Since I was alone as well, we had each other for company.  We talked about the past, our lives and remembered the good times and some of the harder times.    My biggest regret is I never had a picture taken with her as an adult.  Why?  Who knows, but in my list of regrets, that's one of them. 

Therefore, as I end this tribute to my mother, I wish her a glorious happy 100th birthday in heaven.  I miss you mom, and wish you were here.  These last ten years since you left have been happy, and some of it very sad.  Somehow however, I know you know and probably have shed a few tears with me.  Happy Birthday Mommy, keep a place in heaven for me and tell those with you how much I love and miss them.  

 

Once Again One Door Closes

In the spring of 2020, I started this blog as therapy of sorts.  Covid was in full force, masking was the new fashion statement and I was trying to put my life in order so to speak.  I wrote my first blog titled, My Healing House and every word in that blog still rings true today.  72 blogs later, here I am, blessing my home in Idaho and making plans to begin again.  Over these last few months I have been in living in a whirlwind.  I went to Europe, turned 69 and found once again, doors closed forcing me to make life decisions and changes I would not have imagined a year ago.  

This house healed me in some ways and opened up new wounds to make me think that Idaho is no longer my home.  The one and only moved out, 2800 miles away to a new life. All kids need to do this in order to grow up, mature and start their lives independent from their parents.  Sadly however, this mom grew very lonely as we only saw each other once a year.  Yes, we talk every day but it's not like being in the same town.  It’s hard living somewhere where there is no family and friends are a revolving door.  Holidays spent alone or having to travel long distances is not fun.  I haven't had a Christmas tree in two years and decorating is minimal. Why, I won't be here anyway!

I found I really don't fit in, in Idaho.  My beliefs are very different than the beliefs that so many people here grew up with, and still hold dear.  Yes, politically I'm conservative but the rest of my thought process and ideas don't jell with many here.  I'm very independent, I don't need a lot of people around me and there are some who thought differently.   I love the outdoors but I'm not a hiker, biker, camping, or fishing kind of gal.  It's not me, I simply don't fit in.

Relationships changed here in Idaho.  I moved here sad and today the weights on my heart have lifted.  I keep telling myself I'm whole, perfect and complete, but I don't always feel that way.  I keep reassuring myself I'm more than enough, but my heart keeps telling me differently.  I'm finding with the winter drawing near, the seasonal depression is coming back.  I thought I left that behind in Seattle!  Therefore, I'm starting a new season, beginning again one more time.  Ecclesiastes 3 says, "for everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven."  I'll find that new purpose in this new season I'm embarking on.  

So, what's the next season I'm sure you're all asking yourselves?  After thinking, meditating and researching, I'm going to move down to Florida. I’ll be  close to the one and only, 30 minutes to be exact.  It's a bright red state, lots of sunshine, and 9 months out of the year it’s just lovely.  I've been assured that all the "new builds" are hurricane proof and alligators live near large bodies of water.  Yes there will be lizards in the grass and some sweltering days, but that's what air conditioning was invented for!  I have hope that my potted plants will grow for 12 months and I can nurse my flower garden without winterizing.  I’m excited to not have black ice or my sprinklers blown out so they won't freeze and crack. Down parkas will be stored in the back of the closet and boots will be a fashion item and not for warmth. Imagine wearing gym shorts and sandals year round and damn I can wear a dress in December!

Some say Florida is where retirees go to die. Not me, I’ve already got plans. Since I will be moving into a 55 and older community, they’ll be plenty of activities in store. I’ll be moving in the summer months, so I can get my house unpacked before Thanksgiving. I’ve booked a solo trip to Europe in late October and airfare to London is cheaper from Orlando than Boise.  I’m not a Disney girl but we will hear the fireworks every night and I can have my morning coffee on my patio in December. This is all starting to sound better and better as I type.

I plan to start doing volunteer work where my one and only works.  The residents go to mass on Thursdays, so I will accompany them along with volunteering for holiday events and their regular day trips.  My new community has plenty of outings and activities as well, so hopefully I'll blend into regular get togethers and I'm hoping for a water aerobics class!  It all sounds good, nothing like I've experienced here and hey, a weekend trip to the Keys sounds like a plan!

Therefore, here I go again, beginning again. The cracks in my heart will heal eventually with a new life that is in store for the next 25 years. I am imagining my 70th birthday in Florida with all the oldies and of course the one and only.  I’m going to miss Idaho, the friends I’ve made, my yard, and of course, my gym rat friends. But life is in a constant state of change and this is my time to make a change.  I'll keep this blog active as I move forward and check in regularly when I get settled in Orlando.  I'll have plenty to report between now and when I leave.  Right now, it's time to downsize and purge, out with the old, in with the new.  I keep reminding myself, when one door closes, a new one opens.  That's the flow of life. 

To everything there is a season,

A time for every purpose under heaven

A time to be born,

And a time to die;

A time to plant,

And a time to pluck what is planted

A time to kill,

A time to heal

A time to break down,

And a time to build up:

A time to weep,

And a time to laugh;

A time to mourn,

And a time to dance:

A time to cast away stones,

And a time to gather stones

 Ecclesiastes 3: 1-5 NKJV

The New Meaning of Weird

Way back in 2021, I wrote a blog entitled Fellow Weirdos Unite!  I was poking fun at myself and others who all self identify as weird.   I know I'm a bit out with certain beliefs, and let's face it, society looks at me and my "creepy weirdo friends" as weird.  Those of us who are disclosure enthusiasts, UFO watchers and conspiracy theorists are all looked upon as "different."  The conspiracies I've bought into over the last 60 years have all been truth and more and more is starting to come out as to just how corrupt our world actually is.  The people I've met at these conferences are decent hard working individuals and are filled with God's light and love.  We all want the same thing, peace, security, freedom, and liberty.  We want our our children and grandchildren to grow up in a world where we don't have to look over our shoulders constantly in case some criminal is following us.    

Today, the word Weird has taken on a new meaning, a new tone and has become a new idea.  The immature, vapid and frankly nonsensical interpretation of weird by the left is actually hilarious but very dangerous.  What these lunatics deem as weird in the olden days, was decent, loving and normal.  Protecting our homes and families from invaders, protecting our children from child abusers and the like, is not weird.  Faith, family and a normal life style is now weird.  This applies to both traditional and gay marriages.  We are all raising our families with the same concerns and challenges.  Protecting our children needs to be our number one priority.

A push to normalize pedophilia has found it's way out of the cracks of hell!  Imagine, we are now weird because we do not approve of some pervert wanting to molest our children.  Years ago, the Man-Boy Love Association was deemed as disgusting and immoral and illegal.  In some quarters now, it's okay and this goes against everything I hold dear to my heart.  The children being trafficked by this horrible regime of Biden's, are all subject to rape and murder.  These sweet souls simply disappear.  There are those in government, who wholly and completely agree with it!  Open boarders has lead to a host of opportunities only the most deviant and immoral among us approve of.  This has to stop, and it must stop now!

We are living in a new normal of sorts.  What was once up is now down, wrong now right, lazy is now productive, and I could go on and on. This bizarro world of sorts, where we now find ourselves, is dangerous, immoral and evil reigns. We are living in the End Times, the fall of a civilization, akin to the Roman Empire. I remember back in 1967, sitting in Mrs. Kleinman’s social studies class at Huntington. She was teaching us about the fall of the Roman Empire. At that time, 57 years ago, she likened what the United States was going through to the Roman Empire's destruction. This was during the time of the Vietnam war, protest marches, and civil rights riots.  I asked my dad about it later, and I remember he clearly said, the United States will never go by way of the Roman Empire. Well, here we are folks we are in a freefall, and the landing is going to be deadly.  Dad in later years used to say, when this all happens, I hope I'm dead.  Well Daddy, it's happening and I'm truly glad you're not here to witness it.

I heard recently about a new phenomena of kids and adults for that matter, who self identify as an animal. They called them Furries.  These Furries are allowed to dress however they identify, and litter boxes are set up in the school bathrooms, so the Furry can freely use them and not feel as though they’re discriminated against. Now folks, I am all for live and let live.  I whole heartly support those who are different and embracing their individuality.  But, how far does society want to take this?  How much do the rest of us have to endure?  My friend’s, this is the new normal, and we are now the weird ones. 

All adults go through puberty.  It was horrible for me as I was picked on, bullied and called every name in the book.  Thank God I was somewhat normal thinking as I never expressed a thought of being a boy.  Some little boys like playing girl games, just like some little girls like playing with the boys.  Not one kid I knew of, wanted a sex change at 8 years of age.  Now however, the schools are just itching to put a kid in a program to go through a gender transition.  Child mutilation is now the new normal.  If I was starting over with my one and only, we'd be homeschooling or in a private school of some sort as the public school system in America sucks!  They're indoctrination centers as are the colleges and universities.  I know of several young adults, who left good homes with center to right values, and are now left leaning, radical lunatics! They were indoctrinated by lefty professors who want America to become a socialist/communist utopia.  

With all this stated above, the word Weird is simply a term to now describe those of us trying to save our great nation.  I'm proud to be Weird as I'm a patriot and I'm a proud American.  My family goes back to Bacon's Rebellion in 1676.  We have patriots who fought in the Revolutionary War, Civil War, WWII and Korea.  My dad was a WWII and Korea veteran.  Cousin Tom Ontiveros was killed while piloting his plane after leaving Italian Airspace in WWII.  By the way, I wrote about Tom in my blog, "Our Family Hero" if anyone is up to reading about a true American hero. Again I state, thank God neither gentlemen are here to see the destruction of what they held so dear to their hearts.  I think about my grandparents, all of who worked hard, supported their families during the Depression and held close to their hearts, American values.  One set immigrated from England, both became citizens of America, both would be devastated with America and Britain today.   Thank God they missed the shit show.

My friends, as stated three years ago, Fellow Weirdos unite!  Pick up your sword and fight the good fight.  It's time to take a stand for good against evil, freedom and liberty against tyranny, and love against darkness.  I will continue to fight the good fight and will continue to voice my opinion.

I HAVE FOUGHT THE GOOD FIGHT, I HAVE FINISHED THE RACE, I HAVE KEPT THE FAITH ~ 2 TIMOTHY 4:7

Time To Take A Stand

I haven't written a blog in a long time, and it's not because I've had nothing to say.  On the contrary, I've had plenty to say but have been suppressing my thoughts and feelings.  Life has been busy, traveling a bit and I've been planning our big trip in September.  However, that's not why I held off writing a blog.  I've held off because I've had so much angst and dismay over the last few months about the state of our country and world that I've been rendered speechless.  Now is the time my friends, for me to voice what so many of us have been thinking and feeling.  I can not keep silent any longer as I'm scared and I mean really, really scared as to what's at stake for us as a society if we continue down this path to a communist hell hole.  So here I go, unfriend, block or simply disappear from my life if we are at odds to what's happening in the world.  You will not like or appreciate what I have to say and neither of us will miss each other if you disagree with me.  Many people do agree and I count them as my "people."

The propaganda against what is right, true and normal is out of control.  What I see snippets of, when I'm watching my alternative blog casts would make Josef Goebbels blush.   The left is trying to normalize blatant communistic thoughts, ideas and their lack of values.  The left is spewing  hatred by lying about what the other side has expressed.  The left is the enemy of the "people" and I'm frightened as there are just plain idiots who believe this crap.  

This morning I was watching a British YouTube program.  I watch a lot of British TV as it's good to see and hear what the rest of the world is thinking about America.  They're astounded as to how far  America has fallen into the abyss of socialism.  Britain is already there and so many in the UK see what's happened.  They have so many of the same issues we have here, but are further along with the destruction.  The open boarders dilemma has plagued the UK for several years.  They've banned guns so now the new weapon of choice is knives.  It's hard to ban knives as we need them to cut our meat, oh wait, we're now supposed to like and want to eat bugs, according the Bill Gates.  We won't need knives to carve into our cockroach steak

The elimination of our second amendment concerns me folks, as an armed society is a safe society.  So many of these awful school shootings, mall rampages and neighborhood gang violence, could have been stopped with an armed citizenry taking care of business at the beginning of a murderous rampage.  I'm to the point it's time to buy a gun and get a conceal to carry permit.  Idaho is safe for the most part but some crazy with murder in "it's" heart could come after us at any point.  I want to defend myself and my home.  

The open boarders crisis is finally starting to affect Idahoans.  In my travels around town, I see many dubious characters roaming the major streets.  I'm all for people coming to America to get a start on life, but it must be a legal path to be here.  Those sneaking in with nothing but government issued phones and backpacks are not here to live la dolce Vida.  The boarder czar who is attempting a presidential run, has done nothing to secure our southern boarder and protect law abiding Americans.  Oh yeah, the talking heads are spewing she was never named the boarder czar.  There is documented proof in print and there's also video of our pathetic president naming her as such.  He probably has forgotten this fact by now, as how can one remember anything if he's all doped up on God knows what by his elder abusing spouse.  

The subject of the dictator of the USA leads me to another thought.  This idiot has never been the actual POTUS.  This fool and his VP have been the puppets of some Deep State group who are trying to destroy America.  Sorry folks but this is fact.  Barry, Big Mike, and the Clinton crime family have all been behind this disgusting overthrow.  It's fact, not fiction, that our porous boarders have allowed in characters that have no business being anywhere but in their own country's jail system.  I read the other day that Venezuela has emptied their violent gangs on to our American soil.  WTF!  

Venezuela is another topic I'm following with great interest.  They had an election on Sunday and the dictator Nicolas Maduro was voted out of office.  Instead of conceding to the new president, he refused to step down and the people have risen up!  Statues of the former president have been torn down, military commanders have told their troops to step aside and let the people take care of business.  If this has happened there, it will happen here again as it did in 2020.  The left in this country will pull out all their "weapons" to stop President Trump from being reelected.  Hell, the deep state tried to assassinate him a couple of weeks ago!  It's only by the grace of God he survived.  Google is trying to suppress the assassination topic but it's true, I watched it live.  Say what you want about Trump, but life was much better, safer and more prosperous when the Orange Man was president.  They know it and right thinking Americans know it.  He is the only link standing between good and evil, freedom and tyranny.  My feeling is if you don't like Trump, vote for Kennedy.  Kennedy is a good man and has been right about so many important issues, the jab being one of them.  He's seen the light, woke up and has a huge grass roots following.   Either way, a vote for the Boarder Czar is a vote to destroy our great country.  

The Boarder Czar did not break a glass ceiling, she got there on her knees, giving out favors to powerful men.  The Czar has done nothing to enhance the lives of black people in this country.  Sorry folks but this crazy loon can't talk anything but word salad, stupid phrases and giggle like a four year old school girl or a laughing hyena.  She's done nothing of value while in her tenure of office, and was one of the most radical senators in the senate.  By some accounts she's not eligible to be president anyway.  Read and study the Federalist Papers and it's written in there, in black and white.  I have zero respect for anyone who supports this whore and her ideas.  Sorry, not sorry, I had to say this.  If you're still reading this blog and are offended, stop reading and drop me.  Like I said above, we will not miss each other and will probably be happier no longer being friends.

Last but not least my friends, America is up shit's creek if we don't wake up now.  America is on her last legs, going along the path of the Roman Empire under Caligula.  I'm not super religious nor am I a right wing nut case.  I'm a right thinking, American who wants to live in freedom and prosperity.  I've said what I needed to say and I'm not ashamed of my words.  Someone else needs to stand up for America and someone else needs to support our basic ideas, values and lifestyle.  I can not sit idly by and watch the greatest country on the face of the earth be destroyed from within.  85% of Americans agree with me.  The other 15% are lunatics and want our children mutilated, our cities in shambles and our way of life destroyed so that we will become the Venezuela of last week.  If America goes by way of Venezuela, good and decent American's will rise up do the same.  We will have a revolution of sorts and I will be supporting the effort.  May God bless America, and may God bless the good and decent people of the world who stand up for what is right.  

The End of An Era

My Aunt Barbara passed away this morning at the age of 100.  I knew the time would come eventually, but I was still not prepared for it.  Who is ever prepared to receive the news of the passing of a loved one.  This text though was especially difficult because it represents the end of an era, my childhood is finally over but for the memories.  It's weird because now my sister, cousins and I are the family elders, the ones who will now carry the torch.

Aunt Barbara was a gracious, kind, loving lady.  I emphasize lady as she was a true lady, on the level of the queen.  My uncle her brother used to call her the queen and that she was.  She was the second child, the eldest of the three sisters and my mother's closest friend.  She was devoted to my grandmother until the end of her life, and I can still see them in my mind's eye pulling up in front of our house in San Marino, with Nannie in the front seat, head held high.

She spent the last 24 years as a widow, still living in the same house in Newport Beach.  That house holds so many memories for me personally.  I got married in the back yard of that house, played many a game back there growing up and enjoyed these later years sitting talking and enjoying memories.  

Barbara and I talked about anything and everything.  After my own mother passed away, she became my second mother.  I was able to tell her many secrets and ideas and to my knowledge she held them close to her heart.  When I found love again, she was my biggest supporter.  When I traveled, I always brought back a box of tea for her and planned to do so again this year when I'm in Greece or Italy.  I may still buy that box and enjoy my afternoon cuppa thinking of her.

The last time I actually saw her was in 2019.  I was in Newport waiting for my friend to arrive so we could drive out to Palm Springs.  We had a lively conversation and laughed as we always did over the little things in life.  I spoke to her last in 2022 as she had become too tired to sit and talk on the phone, so I wrote her a few letters and send a few cards over these last months.  Sadly, last year, I was unable to attend her 100th birthday party as I had made plans prior to knowing of the event or the date.  My heart was there with her and hopefully she knew that as well.

Therefore, I'll close with the thought and prayer of her safe arrival back to God and reuniting with her entire family unit and with my Uncle Jack.  Nannie: I fulfilled my promise to you 40 odd years ago and I'm have no regret.  Rest in peace my dear Aunt Barbara, until we meet again. 

May 2019

The Simple Pleasures of Life

It's been awhile since I've sat down and wrote a blog.  It's not that I've haven't had anything to say, trust me I've got plenty to discuss.  But, I've been running like crazy with all the opportunities life has offered me over the last year and a half, and time continues to escape me.   Today however, seemed like a good day to sit down and write a blog, as it happens to be my mother's 99th birthday.  Crazy to think if she was still alive, she'd be 99.  She always seemed to me to be that 24 year old in the pictures we've so often seen in albums from the past, or the 50 year old who was riding her bike along Loraine Road.  Mom lived her life to the fullest, traveled the country in the RV with my dad and walked every day up until the day she had the fall that lead to her demise.  Mom was vibrant, active, loved a good dirty joke and a glass of Beefeaters and tonic!  My mom was the perfect example of how I want to be in these later stages of life.

Therefore I've been pondering my life, all that has happened in the last 10 years and all that will possibly be in the next 31.  I plan to live to be over 100 like my dear Aunt Barbara, and live the next 31 years with the gusto my mom seemed to live.  These last 10 years have been years of much change, ups and downs and now it's just the simple pleasures life has to offer.  Let's be honest, it helps to have a hilariously funny, sweet and oh so romantic boyfriend who also shares the same values as I do.  There are also a few good friends to enjoy these pleasures with, and an open mind to enjoy the moments.    But it's more than these things, it's having the heart and soul to embrace life for what is seems to be.

Life at this stage is built on moments.  I try to enjoy the moments as they happen and let's face it, at age 68 our moments are simply what we create.  I have built this stage of my life upon moments and I count my blessings for each one of them.  Life is what we make it, situations are what we make them, and frankly the negatives are simply passages in time.

As I look forward into 2024, I'm seeing multitudes of moments for travel, introspection and plenty of laughs and good times.  I have so much travel set up for this year, it's frankly crazy.  I've  had to weigh out what I can and can not do or afford and prioritize these travel moments.  Currently, I'm in the final planning stages for the European vacation we're taking in September.  My bucket list trip to Italy is finally going to happen and wait for it folks, we get to visit Pompei!!  Pompei has been a dream of mine since I was a kid and studied the Roman Empire.  Yes, I'll take tons of pictures and will share them on Facebook and Instagram.  We're also going to see the Swiss Alps and plenty of selfies will be shared of those moments in time.  

But moments are not just travel and places we visit.  Moments are those shared intimate discussions where we bare our hearts and souls.  Moments on the golf course or over a leisurely lunch seems to be the places where the we encounter these frank discussions about life or our varied journeys.  These moments are just seconds, although that bad shot in my golf game can cause me plenty of angst moments later on.    

So by now dear reader, you must be asking where is this blog is leading to?  Where it's landed is the now moment of today.  My message on Mom's 99th birthday is to enjoy your life, take each moment as they come and embrace the positives along with the negatives.  The negatives are learning experiences, put them in the past forgive and move on.   Travel your life's journey along the path of the unknown and enjoy the pleasures that you'll find.  Trust me, life is what you make it to be, enjoy!

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope."  ~ Jeremiah 29:11

Somewhere over the Caribbean 2024

A Rare Moment in Time

The days we are currently living in my friends, are truly the days that try men's souls.  We are living in a rare moment, watching the world break in two.  No not literally but fugitively as the divide has become so massive between good and pure evil, it can no long hide.  I was going to write this blog with up-lifting tidbits and ideas about moments, but the current world situation has begged me to think otherwise.  This month, I feel the need to reach out and express myself with hopefully a frank and honest discussion.  

I've been done with worrying about if others like or agree with me as we are living in dangerous times and it's time to take a stand.  The future of the country, if not the world, is at stake.  Our children and grandchildren will live as a result of the decisions made today.  Frankly I'm scared.  I'm scared for our freedoms, liberties and the republic our forefathers created 247 years ago.  The United States of America is and was a melting pot for all of those who felt oppressed and persecuted in their birth lands.  People want to come to this country to enjoy the freedoms Americans shared.  No one ever wants to leave America once they arrive, as America is and was a great place to live.  The American dream is alive and well and those with a work ethic, and a desire to succeed, can advance to a state of life they would not enjoy elsewhere.

We legally and ethically elected our leaders with logic and common sense.  Until around 70 years ago, those leaders loved America, what we stood for and wanted to advance the American idea beyond the time of their election.  Those leaders valued our American ideals and promised to expand them.  The leaders of yesterday kept America safe, secure and out of foreign entanglements that did not involve the United States.  Both world wars had an impact on the United States, we were attacked in 1941, therefore we needed to engage.  Our "American Will" became apparent but not before we lost many brave men and women to foreign enemies.  Americans were proud of their sons and daughters;  Americans were proud of their country and the freedoms we stood for.

Today, however; it's different.  Although most Americans value their country, there's a growing faction that has invaded our American way of life and are destroying us from within.  Frankly I could care less how one identifies or who one loves and sleeps with.  Frankly I do not care what religion one practices or believes.  Americans are free to choose, Americans love and respect all people or so I thought.  Today, in 2023, ideals that go against any kind of common sense are being shoved down our throats and we're being forced to swallow the rotgut.  Today if we mistakenly identify someone or speak out against say another's way of thinking, we could find ourselves in a lawsuit or worse.  Today those who peacefully march, are deemed as terrorists.  The true terrorist's riot, plunder and destroy and are left alone.  Our good and decent leaders are blackmailed into submission and are, in my humble opinion, left with no option but to go along with an idea no one would have thought about 40 years ago.  I truly believe blackmail and extortion is being used against once decent people, to force stupidity through the system.  Twenty years ago, no one in their right minds would have supported the mutilation of children or teaching our innocents that of which was once deemed pornography.

As I type, I feel afraid as I am using my free speech against the modern day left or shall I say communists, who have infiltrated our way of life.  I am using this platform to speak my truth as if we all rise up and say no, hell no, this garbage will stop.  I Will Not Comply is my new motto.  Yes, I took the first two jabs, as I wanted to travel and was being bullied by so called friends (who I avoid now at all costs) and social media that I paid too much attention to.  I will not comply to wearing a mask and when I travel now, I take Ivermectin and it works just fine.  Big Pharma has been found out and Dr. Fauci can go to hell.

I will not comply with the social pressure of accepting what is not truth.  Men are men and women are women, no matter how hard the left tries to tell us the opposite.  We cannot change our DNA or our chromosomes.   It's biologically impossible, no matter how much surgery one has had in order to carve up their bodies and mutilate themselves.  That's their right, however, to do with their bodies what they choose but biology cannot and will not change.  And for God's sake, leave our children and grandchildren alone.   Let them be young innocents as long as possible.  Let our children be who they are.  Trying to make a small child identify as anything other than what they were born as is wrong and it's CHILD ABUSE!

And finally, those so call progressives in DC and in our state houses need to be voted out and expelled.  Good republicans and democrats need to be voted in.  We need to get rid of the stench in our government and fill it with good and decent people who want America to succeed and continue.  I'm done with the so-called "Squad" and the bullshit they continue to spew.  I'm done with the left-wing loons who want America to change into a Venezuelan type of country.  Trust me, they're not going to like it when they get it.  Communism sounds good to some until must live in it then they squeal like stuck pigs.  

Therefore, I'm done with my rant.  I love this country and pray for our survival.  If America falls, the world falls with it, and right now we're the laughingstock to the rest of the globe and this needs to change.  Rise up dear friends and fix this great country, it's worth saving.  May God bless America! 

Lessons Learned with Love

Once again, September is my birthday month, sixty-eight years around the sun.  This is my fourth birthday blog, as I've been expressing my thoughts for the world to read for four years.  I haven't sat down to write for a while as I've been busy with my new endeavors.  I have been thinking, pondering is more the word, as I tend to sit and think a lot about my life.  I also ponder current events and world affairs, but I need to stop that as my anxiety tends to build. I digress back to my original thought however, and that is I think about life lessons and those lessons I should have learned by now.   What can I say, I'm a slow learner and sometimes I need these lessons pounded into my soul to wake up and smell the coffee.  Therefore, this month, we're going to journey into the lessons we all were taught and sometimes forget. 

One of my biggest lessons learned was forgiveness.  I've delved into this subject more than once, but the lesson of forgiveness keeps coming back to remind me I need to have forgiveness in my heart.  We all need to learn how to forgive, forget and move on.  Releasing those hurt feelings and letting them go, is both freeing and lightens one's load.  Lesson learned, release and let go and give yourself to love.  

Don't sweat the small stuff is another lesson I tend to forget.  The small stuff of life is just what it is, small and inconsequential.  I tend to ruminate on insignificant details and wow, it sure does weigh me down.  The lesson learned is forget about the minutia and let go and let God.  Giving yourself to the love of the Divine make's life much easier and more peaceful!

Trust or not to trust is another life lesson we all need to learn at some point.  I am a very trusting person, bordering on naive sometimes.  I truly try to look into the heart and soul of all I meet and judge them for the content of their character.  I've been burned more times than I can count but, I look back on these situations as life lessons.  People are for the most part good, but as with any situation, there are a few "bad apples" that can spoil the barrel.  Don't let these apples dissuade you from those kind souls with pure intention. Lesson learned, don't judge a book by its cover.

You can't fix stupid. There is so much stupid to go around, one middle aged woman in Idaho cannot fix it all.   I recognize stupidity all the time while I'm pondering current affairs.  My gosh, where does this nonsense stop, and common sense take back over?  How the hell did we get to this place in our society?  The fall of the Roman Empire was much like what is happening in America in 2023!!  The lesson I've realized is that we need to speak out, stand in our truth and hope like hell God fixes the stupid soon.  Stupidity is destroying us, our society, country, and the world, quite frankly.  Pray, pray, pray, and pray some more and eventually the world will wake up and understand. Lesson learned once again, let go and let God and the love of the Divine will heal the world.

Birthdays are only a number, nothing more, but sixty-eight feels huge!  Holy crap, seventy is remarkably close and I'm not ready!  But then again, it's only a number and I am determined to live out the rest of my years with grace, a sense of humor and the stamina of a that once upon a time, forty-year-old!  I am currently living my dream existence.  The love shared with a wonderful person has helped me a lot but it's more than that, its attitude, lifestyle and frankly enjoying what I have accomplished.  My personal relationship with God is my redeeming quality. Hallelujah, I've finally arrived at the space in life where I've always wanted to be.  Waiting and working for this attitude for sixty-eight years was a journey but wait for it, IT WAS WORTH EVERY DROP OF BLOOD, SWEAT AND TEARS!

Therefore, my friends, happy birthday to me.  And happy birthday to all of those who are marching into our "mature" years!  Age is not a number but an attitude.  Sixty-eight is the new forty-eight and I wish for you to be in the space in your life as I am in mine.   Therefore, give yourself to the love from God and the world will open for you! 

Love is born in fire, its planted like a seed
Love can't give you everything, but it gives you what you need.
And Love comes when you're ready, Love comes when you're afraid.
It'll be your greatest teacher, the best friend you have made.
~Give Yourself to Love by Kate Wolf   

 The Blue Moon August 2023

 

 

 

 

 

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A Tale from the Past to the Present

 As I write this blog, I'm sitting on an airplane returning from an unforgettable weekend in Los Angeles.  I rarely travel to LA anymore, California holds memories that I love and some that I'd rather forget.  This trip after 5 years, was to attend my 50th high school reunion.  How fun the evening turned out and a wonderful time was had by all. We were all asking the same questions, as it seemed.  We were all older, so many had grey hair, tummies and reading glasses (me).  Are we really this old and who is that man, I can't remember his name (me probably)?  Where did the 50 years go?  Just yesterday we were sitting on the football field, receiving our diplomas and looking forward to the summer before adulthood was to begin.  But here we were, the class of '73, 50 years later, together again and celebrating life!

The stories we all recounted, the memories of the past and catching up on the present were just wonderful.  Seeing my old friends from girl scouts, Tri-Hi-Y and classes that we can't remember now, brought plenty of laughter to be sure.  Even Mr. Kanner was there and reminded me I was in his algebra prep class!  Figures, I was horrible at math.  Some of our other memories were dimmed with the passing of time. Who would have thought, 50 years ago, we'd be in the last third of life, celebrating together the times we live in now, once again.  

We all had a story to tell, and since this is my story, I'll lead you dear reader into the present.  Some know my story, most do not, as I keep my life off social media except for a joke, an inspirational quote or two, and a worthwhile news article.  I'll tell my story from my heart and through my fingers on the keyboard of life.

I always felt out of place, awkward, and very self-conscience growing up.  I never felt like I fit in, I was not in the in-crowd, nor did I live up in the first tier of San Marino.  I lived down on the bottom third tier, below Loraine Road, on Sycamore Drive.  My ride to school was my feet, my ten speed and in my senior year, I occasionally got to drive the family car.   Bob Dylan and John Denver posters were pinned on my bedroom wall, and we did have a swimming pool, which my dad had built in 1966.  I'd love to see the inside of that house now, the breakfast nook my dad designed and built, the swimming pool and the back fence line, where the Neville boys looked over at us when we went skinny-dipping.  Life was simple, normal, and sweet.

I went on to PCC after graduation, down to Long Beach State in 1975 and stayed in the South LA/North Orange County area for many years.  John got a job offer to move to Boeing in Seattle so for the next 20 years, I raised a family, worked hard, and settled into life in the PNW.  As so many of you know, ten years ago we lost daddy and husband to cancer, and I then recreated my life and began once again.  

Retirement came easy for me; I was burned out and exhausted, so I retired early 9 years ago.  I set my intentions to live well, travel and invest wisely.  I had attended our 40th reunion stressed out, worn out from the months prior, and frustrated at having to leave a terminally ill husband, a rebellious teenage daughter and two dogs without their circus ring master.  When the 45th reunion rolled around, yours truly decided to go once again, this time in a better frame of mind and twenty pounds lighter.

The 45th sounded fun.  I was ready to face the past, smack dab in the face.  I went with no preconceived ideas of how it would turn out, only I was ready for the party.  That April, I had been in the UK and broke the bone connecting my leg to my ankle bone.  Long story short, I fell down three narrow stairs in an old hotel in Berwick on Tweed.  For the rest of my UK journey, I walked on the blasted thing, pumped full of Advil and a pressure bandage.  I got home and went for my well check 3 weeks later.  What the heck, I had my foot x-rayed and got the diagnosis I did not expect.  Therefore, I walked into the 45th reunion wearing a foot boot and a smile. 

After the event, I was invited for drinks with a fun group of old friends at the old Huntington Hotel lobby bar.  The magical massage on my "war wound" not only touched my foot but my heart and soul as well.  My life changed for the better after that healing touch from strong hands and that pure soul.  This girl has never looked back again. Yes, there have been challenges, yes plenty of tears but they're only tears of joy now and my heart is full.  Saturday night, and the Class of '73 witnessed what a heart looks like healed, opened again and where the magic is allowed to happen. Yes, we know we caught most of our friends by surprise and many asked me; "how did this happen, when and are you really seeing each other?"  Yes, yes, and yes again and I am incredibly grateful.

Therefore, to end this tale of knowledge from the past, and present, cheers to the Class of 1973!  Cheers to the wonderful friendships that have endured and cheers towards the next 50 years.  Until the next reunion that I have named, "55 for 55's," may God bless and keep each one of you.  XXOO  

1985 Sycamore Drive, June 2023

 

Joke's On Me

The joke is clearly on me this month.  I realized several months ago I was becoming burned out trying to write a tome every month.  Here I am again, however, the month of May and it just so happens to be Mother's Day.  Being that I am a mother and had a wonderful mother and grandmother's, I thought I'd write about motherhood and the meaning it has in my own life.  You see, being a mother is my greatest blessing and the most profound experience I have ever had. 

Motherhood for me was somewhat of a joke because I really wasn't sure I ever wanted to raise children.  My motherly instincts in days of yore, was coddling cats and dreaming of puppies.  I lived vicariously through my friends who had children and followed the lives of my nieces and nephew closely.  Then, low and behold, there I was, the age of thirty-nine and expecting my one and only.  Yes, it was a shock but a good shock and one that I got over very quickly.  At the time I was worried that I was too old, too long in the tooth to handle a baby but yes I did and here we are 28 years later, looking back at the wonders of motherhood and thanking God for the greatest blessing of my life.

Over the last dozen years, I have studied my family genealogy.  My maternal grandmother was a younger mother when my own mother was born.  My paternal grandmother was an older mother at the time of my father's birth, but all four great grannies were all the same age as me, at the time my grandparents were all born.  Of course, my grandparents were all at the younger end of the line of siblings, but I can't imagine giving birth in my late 30's and early 40's in the late1800's.  No drugs, no hospitals, only midwives in the most primitive of conditions.  Yikes, I was a big baby when I gave birth to my kid, can you only imagine giving birth in a 2-room home in Victorian England, a ranch in the hills of rural California, or in a log home in the Ozarks?  NO!  These are women who should be revered and thanked profusely.  

Meanwhile, circling back to my life and my motherhood experience, it was challenging to say the least.  My one and only will always admit she was not always very cooperative.  She was a bit of a handful, but a sweeter, more beautiful baby will never be unless it's my future grandchild.  The lessons this handful taught me were about patience, pure love, and complete devotion.  She taught me how to give fully and completely and with love in my heart.  This is what motherhood is about.

Over the years, as I raised my handful, I wondered how my own mother had the stamina to raise the two of us.  I'd guess it was easier as we entertained ourselves.  But then I began to look back, and all my grandparents were part of 8 to 9 siblings.  I worked outside of my home all the years the one and only was growing up; can you just imagine raising 9 kids and trying to keep them all straight in your mind?  Imagine the arguments, squabbles, and expense it took to raise that many kids!  Yes, they were spaced out, yes, the oldest was usually gone by the time the last kid arrived, but just imagine!  I can't but I give my great grandparents plenty of accolades for raising fine, upstanding citizens who knew the value of hard work, dedication to their families and country.  These great grandparents were the backbone of their children's families.  They were and still are admired and loved.

Therefore, to end this diatribe on motherhood, I want to thank my mother, my grandmothers and the four great grannies and beyond.  Your love, devotion, hard work and worn-out bodies are all to be thanked.  My own mother, who I love and miss desperately, is remembered always and lives daily in my heart.  My grannies are always in my heart and when I look at my family trees, see the faces of the greats who in some cases, look similar to my own, I smile and say thank you.   You are all to be saluted and thanked.  Happy Mother's Day! 

"She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.  She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness"    Proverbs 31: 26-27

My paternal grandmother Henrietta Lee Lancaster 1892-1963 She was a true southern belle 

My maternal grandmother, Gladys Mary Hawkins 1896-1991 An English Rose

      My mother Margaret Sinclair 1925-2014 The darling of Santa Catalina Island