Become Your Authentic Self

Being true to ourselves is essential to self growth both spiritually and mentally.  Part of my journey over these last 18 months has been to establish my own Authentic Self and living my true life.  It's amazing really, what one encounters along the path to spiritual enlightenment.  I am not claiming to be a spiritual being such as the Buddha as I am a Christian, nor do I profess to be on the high plain Jesus walked as he was the Divine One, the Messiah, the son of God.  I'm just a lowly woman living a normal life in the United States of America.  What I do claim however, is that I have something to offer the world using my pen (or in this case my laptop).  This week, we will discuss being our Authentic Self.  I will most likely bare more of my soul than normal but here we go, warts and all.

Philosopher Rene Descartes described "enlightenment" as "I think therefore I am."  Simple really but so very profound.  The key is "I think."  Our very thoughts turn into words, into deeds, into the way we live our lives.  "I think" is what we think of ourselves, our version of ourselves to the rest of the world, what we show the world through the lenses of our own eyes.  What we think, we manifest into our lives.  I've been reading the Secret.  It is simple, profound, easy to understand and the Secret works.  It's a New Age book and does it ever resonate with me and my core beliefs.

For many years, I thought I was dumb, ugly, fat and frankly not worthy.  This was brought on by years of negativity and years of putting myself in situations that were not necessarily the best situations for me.  As wonderful as my parents were, I can still hear them asking if I really wrote that paper that earned me an A in high school, or telling me not to get too full of myself when a cute boy in the 7th grade told me I had beautiful brown eyes.  Oh I forgot this little gem, "my you've gained a few pounds."  We all have heard these words and we have all fallen into the trap of feeling "Less Than."  I forgave many years ago for those well meaning but sadly cruel words.  It was not until recently, I really forgave (previous blogs).  Words, that's all they were but still they hurt and notice how I never forgot them after 55 years.  I could bring up more hurts from the past, a marriage gone sideways, friendships thrown in to the dustbin of history, yada yada yada but all is forgiven now.  We move on and don't look back.

These last two years were my graduation years, the years I finally realized I am okay, I became "Woke."  I woke up and found out that life is more than what we can see, touch or understand.  I found out over these last two years, in the last third of my life, I could live and be who God made me to be; be the friend I want to be, be the mom Kristina deserves and to be my Authentic Self.  As I've mentioned, I even found love but for a minute, it was true love and I found out I was okay in that department as well.

So how do we get over those words, the cruelty of friends and family who think they are doing us a favor by telling it "like it is."  How do we live to be our Authentic Selves and how do we live to be that child of God we are called to be.  As usual I have a few suggestions.

1.  Self Knowledge - Pray, meditate, walk a labernath anything but go within and start really delving into your soul.  I have been doing this faithfully.  I replaced the negative thoughts with positive affirmations and wow, what a difference that made in my heart and soul.  After a 30 day study in a book called The Lotus and The Lily by Janet Connor, I came out on the other side with knowledge of my authentic self.  This is another New Age book so it may not resonate for some but it sure did with me and I'll be always grateful to Janet and her beautiful words of wisdom and love. 

2. Take the time for Me Days - Do for yourself, if it means going on a shopping spree for new clothes, furniture or just a walk in the park, these are "You Activities" and you will find them valuable.  After my husband died, I went out and bought all new family room furniture, spent a ton of dough and it all still looks good today (except for the couch which I'm having reupholstered).  Regardless, that day with me in that furniture store, lifted my spirits, lightened my wallet and I'd gladly do it again.  A full day in Nordstrom or Dillard's is a lift, a fun time and another diet for the wallet.  They are Me Days and oh so valuable.   

3.  Don't be a fool and rush in - I waited five years after John died to attempt any kind of relationship with anyone.  I'm so glad I did as it gave me a chance to grieve, put my finances in order and reestablish my life.  I'm again playing the Waiting Game, as rushing into something with someone new will just hurt all parties and do no one any good.  I have complete faith God will put someone in my life again, but it's God's timing not mine.  If it happened once, it will happen again.  It will happen for anyone who truly wants it and believe with their whole heart and soul.

4.  Don't be afraid to be alone - Its not a bad thing to be alone. Plenty of us chose this alternative while we're waiting for Mr. Right or as a permanent lifestyle.  I was alone for many years before I got married and have been alone since John died. The year with Mr. Wonderful in my life was a detour from being alone and yes it was a blessing, a learning experience and a gift from God.  I have plenty of friends and going home to my alone time just fine while I play the Waiting Game.  Try it, its not so bad. If you get lonely, get a dog, call a friend or join a chat room. Any of these ideas are just fine. Alone is fine but remember,  God is always with you, tapping your shoulder to try new things or just to have a chat. 

5.  Take a trip - Over the last 6 years, I've been to the UK three times, twice with friends, once alone.  Traveling and seeing the world sets us up for life long educational experiences, knowledge of something new and frankly tons of fun. I relive those trips through my pictures and can remember that time when...  So cool, so wonderful and so lovely a memory.  My next trip is being considered now.  My friend Tracey in Egypt keeps telling me to come to her center in Cairo and join her tour group.  Scotland has been calling me back as I still have unfinished family research to accomplish.  We'll see, I have plenty of time to figure out where and when.

6.  Find a good church, synagogue or other spiritual center you can resonate with.  As I have mentioned in previous blogs, I found a great church here in Boise where my soul feels free, the gospel is preached with confidence and I can fellowship with like minded new friends.  Being with God in whatever form you find comfortable is wonderful and so helpful when the dark moods or depression set in, trust me I've been there and done that too.   

7.  Being authentic means being true to yourself, with what you believe, feel and how you speak your mind.  Speak with clarity and compassion, not negative or unfeeling.  Speak with the knowledge you feel in your heart and soul and do not apologize for what you believe.  I will no longer apologize to anyone for being a conservative, Republican or having alternative views on certain issues.  These are my views and mine alone.  No one on earth needs to agree with me but please, no judgements as only God is allowed to judge.  I'm tired of being judged.

8.  Finally,  simply be at peace with your life.  Live your life as you see fit and do not apologize to anyone for your happiness and peace of mind.  You are the one who's lived your life to this point.  Be happy, be at peace and be confident that you are okay; comfortable in your own skin.  Remember, we are all Whole, Perfect and Complete.

The Daily Word published the following on August 2, 2004: "Authentic - I am true to myself, genuine toward others, and one with God" 

The complementary Bible verse was "For you were darkness, in times past, but now you are light, in the Lord. So then, walk as sons of the light. For the fruit of the light is in all goodness and justice and truth, affirming what is well-pleasing to God."  Ephesians 5:8-9