Waking Up In Autumn

Autumn is arguably my favorite time of year.  The other seasons are just fine as they are significant to Mother Earth and ourselves.  But, Autumn is my time, the time when we wind down the year, reflect on our blessings and welcome in winter.  I love the smell of the air, orange and red leaves and pumpkins everywhere one looks.  Because we are reflecting,  this week let's take a gander back in time.  Let's reflect one last time on 2020 The Year That Was.  What has this year has taught us (me mostly) and what should we reflect on this autumn?

As I've mentioned in previous blogs, 2020 started out with promise, friendship and a profound sense of wellbeing.  My thought processes had shifted, I had learned to trust again and frankly I opened my heart and soul.  I don't plan to dwell on this sad topic any longer as it's boring, redundant and frankly not worth my breath.   Suffice to say, it's in the past where it belongs and thank you Jesus I have moved forward.  However,  its still an integral part of 2020 but the book is now closed and put away on the shelf of time. 

So as we are now firmly entrenched in Autumn leaves and shifting towards winter, my readers may be asking; Terry  what did you learn from all this?   What I want to say is, lessons were learned the hard way, trust was tested and caution now being employed.  I'm reticent to open my soul again as my heart was betrayed.  As a woman it's hard to admit, as we seem to be very anxious to trust.  What I want to impart to my women friends is however; go slow, be cautious and keep your eyes wide open.  

So for me, 2020 The Year That Was, simply sucked.  Where in this autumn season do I go from here?  Where as a society do we go as we can not continue as we are now?  Since now I am almost fully "Woke,"  I of course have a few suggestions. I am writing this mostly for my women readers but men may learn something as well.

• Trust but with abundant caution. The news media, social media, any media should be listened to and dissected for half truths and lies.  The lies and distortions being spewed are pure evil. 
• Listen carefully and if something smells wrong, it's wrong.  Simply trust your gut.
• Be cautious with feelings, information and your thought processes.  TMI is not healthy and will set one up for heartbreak and deceit. 
• Listen to that still small voice of the Divine.  It will speak as loudly as you allow it to and it's never wrong.  
• Trust and Obey.   If your still small voice says no, obey because the answer is no.  If it's enthusiastic, then go forward with joy and happiness.
• Wake Up and enjoy life.  Waking up is a concept more than getting out of bed in the morning.  Being woke means one is fully engaged with life, with your inner self, with the Divine.  Being woke means your senses are on high frequency and tuned in to what God is saying.  I woke up and my understanding is becoming oh so clear.
• Eliminate guilt from your life.  Don't be guilty because of mistakes you may have made.  We all make them and will continue to do so.  Traditional thought is centered around guilt and judgement.  Our toughest critic is ourselves.  Just stop, bless the mistake and move forward. 
• Bless those who have caused you grief.  When one blesses, one frees themselves from the chains and ties that continue to bind us in our grief process.  I have done this, it works.  You will feel free again and your soul will be at peace. 
• Finally, and this topic has been discussed ad nauseam, forgive.  Nuff said.

In conclusion, Autumn is the time when we take that assessment of the year and settle ourselves into the cold of winter.  I'm anxious to find out how winter plays out here in Boise.  I know it will be cold, it will snow but I'll embrace the season with joy.  Cold, snow and ice will turn into flowers in the spring, a new beginning and anticipation for the good things that will come.  I have an abundance of hope for 2021.  The Year That Was will become in 2021, the Year of Promise.  2021 will be a year we forgive the past, anticipate the future and Wake Up to our new beginning.  I'm excited for 2021.  I'm excited to see what God has in store for me, my family, my friends, for my country and for the world. 

2021 The Year of Promise, the name has a sweet ring to it.  

Tuesday May 10, 2005, The Daily Word published this affirmation about Guidance and Promise: "I live a life of promise and purpose as I follow a divine plan of good."  The accompanying scripture verse was: "You are indeed my rock and my fortress; for your name's sake lead me and guide me."  Psalm 31:3.

Creating a Joy Filled Life

This morning, Thursday, I woke up having no idea what the subject would be for this week's blog.  No one seems to be tired of my thoughts yet and I try hard to make them interesting each week.  My friend Kristina (not my daughter but the name is spelled correctly) suggested I could have Writers Block from time to time but to call on my inner voice and the words would flow.  So taking my friend's advise, I did just that.  I journal every morning, set my intentions for the day and check the Daily Word for it's daily affirmation.  The urge to check the affirmation was so strong this morning, I looked before I started to write and voila, there was my topic for this week, Joy!  How joyful I felt, how free I felt to write about joy, the joy in my life and the joy I've experienced during times of trial.  So, let us commence with the affirmation that inspired me this morning.

"Joy - Divine Joy is Mine."  The accompanying scripture is from Luke 1:47 - "And my spirit leaps for joy in God my Saviour."

So what is Joy my readers may ask, what is Terry's interpretation of Joy?  Joy is more than a 35 point Scrabble word,  an emotion we feel when we get an A on a test, or our steak is cooked to perfection.  Webster defines Joy as:  "The emotions evoked by well-being: Success,"  "Good fortune or the prospect of possessing what one deserves: Delight."  "The expression or exhibition of such emotion: Gaiety."  "State of happiness or felicity: Bliss."  "A source or cause of Delight." These are all very good descriptions of Joy but what is Joy, really?  What is that feeling that makes us feel successful, giddy, blissful or full of delight?

As I sit and ponder the word, I can close my eyes and remember the complete joy and happiness I felt when I looked into the eyes of my baby for the first time.  The absolute miracle of birth, the perfection in her sweet little face was probably the first time I ever experienced the feeling of profound joy.  The miracle of birth is really what it is, a true miracle.  It's different for mom's and dads I think.  We moms carry that baby for 9 months, nurture it and love it before we even know who he or she is.  Dads on the other hand, in my humble opinion, are walking in complete disbelief they could have assisted with it's creation.  I do not think they grasp who this baby is until they see it for the first time.  Daddy then feels the true emotion of pure love.  This is Joy my friends and I hope some Daddy's will comment as their take will be an interesting read.

Joy can be found in in our daily lives but we must be open to it, willing to welcome it into our existence and open our eyes and hearts to it's possibility.  So dear reader, what brings Joy to your life?  What brings you the ultimate peace we all search for?  I of course have a few ideas as this is my blog and my voice.  These may be different than how others view Joy but all the same, it is food for thought as we move forward in life.

 Search your soul - I meditate in the mornings after I journal.  Mornings work well for me as my mind is still open and not corrupted by social media or my morning drive guy (he's good by the way but the topics can be distracting and corrupting).  Keeping our minds open in the silence of the morning allows God to speak to our hearts and soul.  This is pure Joy, as the voice of the Divine is pure, sweet and oh so welcome especially in these times.

 Journal - There she goes again with this journaling thing.  I know, I know, I bring this subject up all the time but the Joy that will flow from your heart on to the pages of your journal will offer the ultimate peace of mind.  This blog flowed first onto the pages of my daily journal, my blog journal and now on to this venue.  This is pure Joy for me, pure peace of mind.

 Spiritual Reading - I know not all my readers are Christians or read the Bible.  This is fine by me actually as I never wanted to appeal to just one group.  My hope is that my voice will resonate with many people of all beliefs.  The gist of this section however, is to read something that rings true to your soul.  My Daily Word affirmations and accompanying verse are what ring true to me.  The Joy I find in the words from the Divine have helped me during times of sorrow, sadness and immense grief.  They are pure Joy as my heart has been healed so many times and for this I'm grateful and so Joyful. 

 Practice Gratitude -   Gratitude goes a long way.  If we can find something or someone to be grateful for, pure Joy will be found.  I can look back on my darkest moments and find Joy.  Through my tears, Joy has poured out. Heck, I'm sensitive and caring enough to recognize my Joyful heart.  A Joyful Heart can be hurt and will heal.  I know this is so, please trust me.  Over the last eight years, I've experienced some of the most gut wrenching sadness a person could ever experience.  But I'm alive, I survived and I lived to see the next morning.  I am grateful now even though during the times of sadness, I wasn't so sure.  The sun came out the next day, shone through the clouds and all is well with my soul.  This is joy.  I AM GRATEFUL!

 Open Your Eyes - Keep your eyes and heart open all day and do not let a opportunity for Joy go to waste.  See the beauty in all of creation and remember we are all the creation of the Divine.  Reflect back to those you encounter along your daily path and bless them.  One will never know the impact we make on others by simply blessing them.  There is always someone to bless, it's my daily ritual.

So today, moving forward with our lives, live a life filled with joy and happiness.  Live each day like it's your last and don't look back but look forward.  Peace and joy are waiting for each one of us, if you allow it to be so.  Open your heart and let Joy flow in.  I've done this, it works and I thank God.

On March 28, 1973, the Daily Word offered this affirmation: "I start this day with a feeling of joy, and it stays with me."  The accompanying verse was "For you shall go out in joy and be led forth in peace."  Isaiah 55:12.   May peace and Joy be with you.  Amen

 

    

Become Your Authentic Self

Being true to ourselves is essential to self growth both spiritually and mentally.  Part of my journey over these last 18 months has been to establish my own Authentic Self and living my true life.  It's amazing really, what one encounters along the path to spiritual enlightenment.  I am not claiming to be a spiritual being such as the Buddha as I am a Christian, nor do I profess to be on the high plain Jesus walked as he was the Divine One, the Messiah, the son of God.  I'm just a lowly woman living a normal life in the United States of America.  What I do claim however, is that I have something to offer the world using my pen (or in this case my laptop).  This week, we will discuss being our Authentic Self.  I will most likely bare more of my soul than normal but here we go, warts and all.

Philosopher Rene Descartes described "enlightenment" as "I think therefore I am."  Simple really but so very profound.  The key is "I think."  Our very thoughts turn into words, into deeds, into the way we live our lives.  "I think" is what we think of ourselves, our version of ourselves to the rest of the world, what we show the world through the lenses of our own eyes.  What we think, we manifest into our lives.  I've been reading the Secret.  It is simple, profound, easy to understand and the Secret works.  It's a New Age book and does it ever resonate with me and my core beliefs.

For many years, I thought I was dumb, ugly, fat and frankly not worthy.  This was brought on by years of negativity and years of putting myself in situations that were not necessarily the best situations for me.  As wonderful as my parents were, I can still hear them asking if I really wrote that paper that earned me an A in high school, or telling me not to get too full of myself when a cute boy in the 7th grade told me I had beautiful brown eyes.  Oh I forgot this little gem, "my you've gained a few pounds."  We all have heard these words and we have all fallen into the trap of feeling "Less Than."  I forgave many years ago for those well meaning but sadly cruel words.  It was not until recently, I really forgave (previous blogs).  Words, that's all they were but still they hurt and notice how I never forgot them after 55 years.  I could bring up more hurts from the past, a marriage gone sideways, friendships thrown in to the dustbin of history, yada yada yada but all is forgiven now.  We move on and don't look back.

These last two years were my graduation years, the years I finally realized I am okay, I became "Woke."  I woke up and found out that life is more than what we can see, touch or understand.  I found out over these last two years, in the last third of my life, I could live and be who God made me to be; be the friend I want to be, be the mom Kristina deserves and to be my Authentic Self.  As I've mentioned, I even found love but for a minute, it was true love and I found out I was okay in that department as well.

So how do we get over those words, the cruelty of friends and family who think they are doing us a favor by telling it "like it is."  How do we live to be our Authentic Selves and how do we live to be that child of God we are called to be.  As usual I have a few suggestions.

1.  Self Knowledge - Pray, meditate, walk a labernath anything but go within and start really delving into your soul.  I have been doing this faithfully.  I replaced the negative thoughts with positive affirmations and wow, what a difference that made in my heart and soul.  After a 30 day study in a book called The Lotus and The Lily by Janet Connor, I came out on the other side with knowledge of my authentic self.  This is another New Age book so it may not resonate for some but it sure did with me and I'll be always grateful to Janet and her beautiful words of wisdom and love. 

2. Take the time for Me Days - Do for yourself, if it means going on a shopping spree for new clothes, furniture or just a walk in the park, these are "You Activities" and you will find them valuable.  After my husband died, I went out and bought all new family room furniture, spent a ton of dough and it all still looks good today (except for the couch which I'm having reupholstered).  Regardless, that day with me in that furniture store, lifted my spirits, lightened my wallet and I'd gladly do it again.  A full day in Nordstrom or Dillard's is a lift, a fun time and another diet for the wallet.  They are Me Days and oh so valuable.   

3.  Don't be a fool and rush in - I waited five years after John died to attempt any kind of relationship with anyone.  I'm so glad I did as it gave me a chance to grieve, put my finances in order and reestablish my life.  I'm again playing the Waiting Game, as rushing into something with someone new will just hurt all parties and do no one any good.  I have complete faith God will put someone in my life again, but it's God's timing not mine.  If it happened once, it will happen again.  It will happen for anyone who truly wants it and believe with their whole heart and soul.

4.  Don't be afraid to be alone - Its not a bad thing to be alone. Plenty of us chose this alternative while we're waiting for Mr. Right or as a permanent lifestyle.  I was alone for many years before I got married and have been alone since John died. The year with Mr. Wonderful in my life was a detour from being alone and yes it was a blessing, a learning experience and a gift from God.  I have plenty of friends and going home to my alone time just fine while I play the Waiting Game.  Try it, its not so bad. If you get lonely, get a dog, call a friend or join a chat room. Any of these ideas are just fine. Alone is fine but remember,  God is always with you, tapping your shoulder to try new things or just to have a chat. 

5.  Take a trip - Over the last 6 years, I've been to the UK three times, twice with friends, once alone.  Traveling and seeing the world sets us up for life long educational experiences, knowledge of something new and frankly tons of fun. I relive those trips through my pictures and can remember that time when...  So cool, so wonderful and so lovely a memory.  My next trip is being considered now.  My friend Tracey in Egypt keeps telling me to come to her center in Cairo and join her tour group.  Scotland has been calling me back as I still have unfinished family research to accomplish.  We'll see, I have plenty of time to figure out where and when.

6.  Find a good church, synagogue or other spiritual center you can resonate with.  As I have mentioned in previous blogs, I found a great church here in Boise where my soul feels free, the gospel is preached with confidence and I can fellowship with like minded new friends.  Being with God in whatever form you find comfortable is wonderful and so helpful when the dark moods or depression set in, trust me I've been there and done that too.   

7.  Being authentic means being true to yourself, with what you believe, feel and how you speak your mind.  Speak with clarity and compassion, not negative or unfeeling.  Speak with the knowledge you feel in your heart and soul and do not apologize for what you believe.  I will no longer apologize to anyone for being a conservative, Republican or having alternative views on certain issues.  These are my views and mine alone.  No one on earth needs to agree with me but please, no judgements as only God is allowed to judge.  I'm tired of being judged.

8.  Finally,  simply be at peace with your life.  Live your life as you see fit and do not apologize to anyone for your happiness and peace of mind.  You are the one who's lived your life to this point.  Be happy, be at peace and be confident that you are okay; comfortable in your own skin.  Remember, we are all Whole, Perfect and Complete.

The Daily Word published the following on August 2, 2004: "Authentic - I am true to myself, genuine toward others, and one with God" 

The complementary Bible verse was "For you were darkness, in times past, but now you are light, in the Lord. So then, walk as sons of the light. For the fruit of the light is in all goodness and justice and truth, affirming what is well-pleasing to God."  Ephesians 5:8-9

 

Let There Be Light

Water and light are the very essence of life, we know this as humans as we can not live without either.  Water is essential, just spend an hour in the desert and you'll find out how thirsty one can become without good old H2O.  Light is the same, plants can not grow without light, humans can not function without our Vitamin D. Only mushrooms and bats can survive without light, bats are blind and mushrooms well, you know...  Terry, why bring up light you may ask?  Light is the topic for this week and we will start out with the word of God and proceed from the very beginning. 

The first lines in the old testament say the following:

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.  And the earth was without form, and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep.  And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.  And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.  And God saw the light and it was good; and God divided the light from the darkness.  Genesis 1:1-4

Sadly in these times, 2020 The Year That Was, was the year we lived in darkness.  Reverend Kevin mentioned last week in his sermon that we are okay but are we?  So I ask my readers, are you okay, really okay?  I can say I am okay to a point then the Okay starts to fade and the Not So Okay becomes apparent.  This is not because of personal Issues or moving from my security blanket.  I blame it on the darkness enveloping the earth these days.  

I've mentioned this in previous blogs, I truly feel a darkness has descended on our earth, our lifestyle and the entire fabric of our society.  Oh I know some blame President Trump, balderdash I say.  Some blame the republicans, others the democrats, more balderdash!   I say it's time we as humans start to examine our hearts, souls, thoughts and frankly our mortal existence.  What has happened to our society when good manners, social graces, morals and common sense leave us and we become like rabid vermin, attacking one another?  Let me make a few observations and hope to clarify them with answers.

1.  We have forgotten how to treat people with basic respect.  All of us had some sort of respect drilled into our heads from the time of birth.  This is all of us, no one is immune from a parent’s reprimand and correction.  I remember sticking my tongue out at my mother when she walked out of the room   I can still hear her say; “I saw that, next time it will be snipped off.” As a young child, I was afraid of my mother,  very afraid so that happened maybe twice but not three times to be sure. What mom was teaching was basic respect. No elbows on the table, speak when spoken to, say please and thank you; these were basic corrective actions given to small children.  I still carry them today in my day to day life. As an adult however, I do speak up more often but that’s because I’m by nature chatty, and enjoy a good conversation.

2.  Has anyone noticed lately the amount of swearing in normal conversation?  Okay, I confess, I’ve let a few slip out more than once, I’m no saint.  Usually it’s when I’m watching the news, angry at something or ticked off that Russell Wilson didn’t connect his pass.  Notice how the F word seems to be a staple in our conversation today.  No one seems to be offended when they hear it!  We’ve become so desensitized that we tend to ignore it.  When and how did this happen?  It’s time we get back to civility and replace foul language with words we would use when we’re talking to grandma.  My dad used to say, using foul language shows a person does not have a good command of the English language.  Daddy as always was correct and I promise to clean up my language starting today.

3.  What is extremely disturbing these days is how the word racist keeps being thrown around so cavalierly.  It’s now being used as an excuse for a disagreement.  I am not a racist nor do I know any racists. I do know people who are sick and tired of watching a bunch of thugs trying to burn down our cities, attack our police or think they can walk on to private property and simply declare it’s now theirs (this is happening, watch the news). Recently I saw a video of diners in an outdoor restaurant, eating their meal while being harassed by a bunch of hoodlums screaming in their faces.  The diners were perceived to be racists if they spoke up and defended themselves.  This should never be allowed, a diner paying for their meal has the right to sit and enjoy it.  Private property is just that, private.  No one has the right to walk on someone else’s lawn and declare it theirs.  

4.  We have lost complete respect for human life in this country.  I am not talking about abortion, that’s another subject for another day.  What I’m talking about is respect for our fellow human.  This lack of respect is for police, fire, military, public officials and frankly you and I. The Mask Nazi’s are out throwing insults at people who won't wear the stupid thing.  This mask thing is absurd and our basic right to decide for ourselves has been taken away.   I'm past the point of thinking the mask thing is okay, I'm now mad my right to decide for me is gone. This is communism folks, remember Venezuela, Cuba, the old Soviet Union and yes China.  This is America, land of the free, home of the brave.  We are NOT a communist country nor we will ever be one if I have anything to do with trying to stop it.

5.  Notice that lately, Americans are being stripped of the basic right to defend ourselves and frankly folks, this is scary.  The sale of guns and ammunition is at an all time high and an all out civil war will take place if we're not careful.   I'm one who believes it's already started, it's just not full blown yet. Americans believe in the Second Amendment, it’s in our constitution, next to free speech and along side the women’s right to vote.  

So what do we as Americans do, as citizens of the world, responsible people?  We start speaking out loud and often and we stop putting up with the nonsense. This is plain and simple frankly and very easy to do.  Start speaking kindly again, watch your language and start acting not reacting.  Start living life with love, happiness and care for your neighbor.  It’s time we wake up and truly ask ourselves, is this how we want to spend the rest of our lives?  Do we want our children and grandchildren to live in darkness? It’s time to examine our soul and ask if  we want the light of God, The Universe to shine through us or the darkness of evil   I’m choosing the God of the universe and I believe if we all chose God, the darkness will disappear and light will shine bright on this earth.  We will begin to love one another again and peace will rein.

Sunday May 29, 1983 the Daily Word published this affirmation along with the Bible verse above:         

"Let there be light and let it shine through me"                                                      

 "Let there be light.  Let there be light in me guiding light in my mind, healing light in my body, harmonizing light in my world.  Let there be light in all who are dear to me.  Let there be light in all the people in all the world.  Let there be no place where darkness remains.                                                      

"Let there be light.  Let the  people of our world seek for light, live for light, lead one another in to the light.  Let there be light in all darkened areas.  Let there be light in the minds of us all, in the affairs of our world."

~ Praise be to God, amen 

Rejuvenation of The Soul

Since my last blog, I've been a busy bee.  September is my birthday month, the month school starts, the end of the third quarter of the year and the jump start to the fourth quarter.  Frankly, September is the month  the earth starts to regenerate and ready itself for the next season.  This month is the month I regenerated and began my life anew.  Oh I know, I moved in June.  June was my launching point, September 2020 was the month I got started. 

So let me take us back to the beginning, the truth that will explain.  You see I fell in love, yes me!  It was wonderful, exciting and I was head over heels.  We talked, we traveled, we had wonderful experiences.  Needless to say however, I missed the warning signs, red flags and the little ticky things that we women miss when we put the object of our affections on a pedestal.  They become Mr. Wonderful in our minds, I did that and more.  Sadly  however, life changed, the red flags became dramatic and my entire wonderful love affair ground to an abrupt halt and simply disappeared.  Yes poof, disappeared.  Hard to say why and I have stopped asking but I now understand very clearly and it makes me sad for Mr. Wonderful.  I have completely forgiven him and now I'm moving forward on a clearer path and one which makes sense.  I'm not bitter, angry or sad anymore.  Disappointed yes but none of the former. I realized that life has it's ebbs and flows, beginnings and endings, time for every purpose under heaven.  Mr. Wonderful for those who may be asking is simply a wonderful human being, a true sweet soul and the most intelligent man I have ever known.  I wish him nothing but happiness, peace, health and hopefully a life he's happy with.  I pray daily for him and hope he can feel my prayers.  But now it's time I move forward.  Call me sometime, I'd like to chat, no strings attached.

So, what's next for Terry one may ask?  Oh my gosh, this is where my regeneration starts, my new life started and new opportunities begin.  So let's reflect on September or better start back when I arrived in Idaho with my dear friend Toni (who came along for the ride) and my sweet Bonnie girl.  

First off, my new home is perfect.  My house is unpacked, pictures hung, garden started and the yard has been been improved.  Idaho is hot in the summer, cold in the winter and spring and fall are gorgeous.  My roses are still flourishing and there is a place in my garden for more bushes to be planted next spring.  My new hole digger is a darling young man who also mows my lawn and who gives me good advise on Idaho horticulture.  What a blessing he is!

I found an nice church and my new pastor is astute, gracious and very caring.  I joined a Bible study and plan to attend the Sunday services regularly.  Lucky me, I didn't have to church shop long.  I say thank you to Kevin for accepting me into the "fold."  I appreciate the friendship we've started and ear you're willing to lend me if needed.

I found a new gym (as noted in other blogs and pictures on Instagram).  My new trainer has me back in Beast Mode and puts me through the paces.  Now I just need to lose that Covid Ten pounds so the skinny jeans fit again.  So thank you Sarah for your friendship and kindness.  You are a blessing.

Idaho has also blessed me with new friends, reestablished some old friendships and given me a social life.  There are a few of us here from San Marino High School and we get together regularly.  So thank you for your friendship Ginny and Jeff and we look forward to welcoming Wendy into our group.  Fun times, great food and conversation is our goal.

My dear friend Suzanne Ross invited me to Sedona last weekend.  I went still weepy and sad from the love that went wrong and returned home, refreshed, rejuvenated and ready to take on the world.  Lucky me or shall I say blessed me, I met up with another powerful woman who has invited me into her world.  I will start working with her to establish my "mission" and I can't wait to get started.  My mission from the Universe, that I chose to accept, will be to help other women of any age group reestablish their lives after a breakup or death of a spouse.  My pen will be my sword as these last seven years have been a growth experience that I believe I can share with others.

Lastly, September gave me the opportunity to realize how truly blessed I am, how loved I am by my family and many friends.  These are true souls who let me cry when the love went wrong, tell my story over and over again and never once judged me in any way.  I say thank you to my daughter Kristina (who put up with my sobbing tears) Ginny, Toni, Joyce, Jane, Robin and my cousin Vickie.  I'm good now, healing still but on the road to the new beginning I know God has in store for me.

Today's Daily Word sums up this week's blog:

Purpose - I search my feelings and discover my purpose.

Proverbs 20:5 explains, "Counsel of the heart of a man is like deep waters.  But a wise man will draw it out"

Where Did Time Go?

The title Senior Citizen has finally caught up to yours truly.  It's amazing actually as I think about it and begin to embrace the milestone of turning 65.  My birthday isn't until next week but I officially became a senior on September 1 when Medicare kicked in.  How can this be, how could time have flown so quickly?  It seems like only yesterday we were starting kindergarten, graduating for high school, getting married and having babies.  It seems like just the other day, I was in London celebrating 64.  Where did the time go? 

As I look over the years, I wonder how I got to this point in my life.  I believe we all ponder this question, in one way or another.  I remember the first day of school, excited to see who my teacher would be, who would be my classmates, which boy I'd have a crush on that year.  Every day during my working years would be the same but different.  I had a great career but it's over now as I've been retired for 6 blessed years.  Where did the time go?

As a new mom, I used to look with wonder into my new baby's eyes.  I could clearly see the beauty in her soul and marvel that this is my child, the one who's bones I knitted in my body.  I remember once my mother saying, "enjoy her now because the next thing you know, she'll be graduating from high school."  Yup, time flew and she graduated from high school, college and now she's a lovely young woman who I still look at with awe and wonder.  Where did the time go?

Over the years, with the passing of my loved ones, I think back to the times we were all together.  Those holiday times where we'd be gathered as a family, cousins running the house, my grandmother making the Christmas gravy, Easter egg hunts and birthday parties.  I can still hear Dad and Uncle Jack discussing politics and laughing at some joke us kids probably didn't need to hear.  Only yesterday we were sitting at the breakfast nook Dad built, blowing out candles on the birthday cake and opening our presents.  Where did the time go?

As I look back, I see a blessed life, with wonderful parents and grandparents who loved me.  I see with clear eyes, a childhood that was generally happy, an adulthood that has had it's shares of ups and downs but blessed all the same.  It's been a wonderful life but still, where did the time go?

Over this last year, I became more aware than ever before of the passing of time.  I believe, my 64th year was one of growing and learning.  I listened to several lectures, all trying to explain ways of the Universe.  With this new knowledge and understanding, I believe I made myself right with God and my eyes have been opened.  Thinking back at the places I visited, people I met and friendships secured, I'm left in awe and wonder.  Still, that nagging question comes up again, where did the time go?

So as I enter my 65th year, I am back to being a child of wonder.  I have realized how much more I have to learn, how many more places to visit, people to meet and friends to make.  I haven't given up on love as giving up means defeat and I'm not defeated.  Life is what one makes it and moving forward, I'm making my life the best ever.

So, I say thank you to God, my parents and grandparents.  I say thank you to Kristina and John for being there and to the many unnamed people who have blessed me over the years.  I'll not be writing my blog for the next two weeks as I'm going to travel, celebrate life and my new beginning.  So with this being said, Happy Birthday to me!  

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8: "There is a time for every purpose under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die, a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted, a time to kill and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace."

Playing The Waiting Game

Merriam Webster defines waiting as "To stay in place, to remain stationary, in readiness or expectation."  We are all waiting for something, it's part of the human condition.  We all want something, a possession, a desire, a new love, something. My Christian friends are waiting for Jesus to return.   But what should we do in order to obtain our desire?  How shall we live our lives, make use of our time, or conduct ourselves while we're playing the Waiting Game?  This week, we are going to explore the topic of waiting and possibly answer a few questions.

Life is a Waiting Game, we wait and we wait.  I remember my grandmother saying, she was always waiting for someone.  It could have been my grandfather to drive her grocery shopping or Aunt Barbara coming to pick her up for the holiday celebrations.  My grandma did not drive, so she was dependent on others.  But she always seemed to be waiting, sitting in her chair by the window, waiting.  

I've played the waiting game over the years.  As a child it was waiting for Santa, my birthday, summer, or a play date with a friend.  As I got older, it was waiting for the phone to ring, the promise of a new job, places to go, people to meet.  I can remember waiting for that someone special to call (I'm still waiting) or the count down to a vacation.  My life has been a Waiting Game, as I'm sure it's been for everyone else.

I can remember waiting in anticipation for my first trip to the UK in 2016.  Laying out clothes, changing my money to British pound sterling, and checking the weather app.  I went back to the UK alone in 2018 and I still played the waiting game, same game, different year.  This trip had more anticipation as I was alone and a little apprehensive as a woman traveling by herself.  Last year's trip was with a trusted friend.  The weeks of waiting and planning flew by and finally, we met up in London and had a glorious time.  All the trips were of varying lengths of time away, all were such fun and all had to end.  The waiting game was played and then the "let down."  Now what, what's next?

What's Next is also part of the waiting process.  It's again, part of the human condition.  All good times must come to an end as my mother was always quick to remind me, but they are usually followed up by another good time, another new friend or simply a new time in life.

I've come up with a few ideas of how to play the Waiting Game and solving the problem of What's Next?  Hopefully my readers will agree and offer suggestions of more.

1.  Plan the next adventure as soon as you get home.  Start planning a year in advance, tweek the map by adding new sites to see.  Put together your dates and try to stick to them.  In normal times, I start booking reservations 9 months in advance.  These days I'm not so sure.

2.  Pray God will lead you in the right direction for your next life's journey.  This does not apply only to travel but romance, friendships, classes to take etc.  God will lead you if you open your mind and heart to receive direction.

3. Journal every day.  Set your intentions and stick to them.  I know, this journaling "thing"  has probably become annoying to my readers but it's important.  I have used that darn journal for everything from healing my broken heart to what I'm having for dinner.  I try as best as possible to stick to the plan and make it work.  The Waiting Game doesn't seem as long and What's Next becomes a daily discussion with me, myself and I.

4. Exercise daily.  I'm repeating myself for sure but it's important.  A morning walk, work out at the gym or pulling weeds in the garden can be used to create a meditation while in the Waiting Game.

5.  Trust your instincts, let go and let God.  If something doesn't feel right, take a step back and ask God to give a sign.  He will, he always does.  During the wait, if our minds are open, we'll hear God speak to us in various ways.  He always affirms and our wait will be worth it.

6.  Enjoy life for the moment.  Moments are what we are in now.  Moment by moment we can breath in the essence of life, love and happiness and that wait will seem so much less the burden, while we play the Waiting Game and ask What's Next.

Since I quoted out of the Daily Word last week, I'm going to start to quote from it every week.  I receive so much peace from it's simple statements.  

Tuesday, January 21, 2014 the daily affirmation was Wait.  "One with God, I wait, breathing into the unknown."

"In Hebrew, one translation of the word wait, or Qavah, is to bind together.  As I wait for news about certain outcomes or grapple for answers to a troubling issue, I imagine myself intertwined with God like sturdy strand of Cord, bound together as one.  Holding this image relieves any anxiety I may be feeling.

"One with God, I relax, breathe into the unknown, and wait.  Rather than trying to force a particular outcome, I rest in God and trust in divine wisdom.

"I see this interlude as a respite for my soul.  As I exercise patience, I cultivate my spiritual mettle.  When the pause is over, I am renewed and ready to act from God-given insight."

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope. Psalm 130:5