Out With The Old, In With The New

We are heading to the end of 2020, The Year That Was.  It's almost over thank God, so now what?  As I write, I have been reflecting on this awful year and the creation of this blog.  I'd like to share more of my thoughts as we move forward from today.

The creation of Beginning Again was originally used as therapy. As I've noted, I journal regularly and this blog was to put my journal thoughts into more of a public venue.  It's served it's purpose as I've moved on with my life.  I've put my mindset into making myself open and available for new opportunities.  Frankly, I have learned a lot about myself along this six month journey.  These learning points I'd like to share as they may resonate with others who have traveled this same path.  I may have expressed some of these thoughts in the past but to close out 2020, some may need to be repeated.

The first and most important thing I learned is that I'm okay.  We are all okay, Whole, Perfect and Complete in the eyes of God.  Do not doubt this fact for one minute as God has made all of us in His image and in this image, we are who we are.  This tiger can't change her stripes at this point in life, I can only work to improve myself and try to make the world a little bit better place.  Using the power of my "pen" will be my method as we move forward into 2021.

Secondly, I bounced back from major disappointment and heartache.  I had the rug ripped out from under me so hard, I was left dazed and stunned to say the least.  8 months later, I have a new house, new life, some new friends and my sanity.  Thank you God for the ability to survive.  We all have this same survival instinct.  Use that instinct and common sense to move on.  Trust and listen to that still small voice inside you.  Your Higher Self will never fail you.

Thirdly, I have a backbone of steel.  This blog was originally meant to be about my thoughts on life but it morphed into religion and politics and I found out there are an awful lot of people who disagree with me.  That's okay as we are all entitled to our own opinions and I respect that.  Some of these people however, sadly called me names, were condescending and frankly rude.  I do not need family or friends like them in my life and neither does anyone else.  A Facebook purging is in order as 2021 commences.

Fourth, I'm actually grateful for 2020.  I found peace of mind and a new beginning.  I found out that I could move 500 miles away from my home of 20 years and be at peace.  I also came to understand that only quality people should be allowed in your life . Choose friends who possess honesty, integrity, pure hearts and souls.  I did and won the prize. 

So where does this leave me, all of us as we move into 2021?  I'm officially again calling 2021 The Year of Promise.  With this promise, I will not stop writing my blog, however; I'm not publishing it every week.  As I healed, I came to realize I don't have enough material or imagination to try to carry this out every week.  Starting in January, I'll attempt to publish once a month.  If something more comes up during the month, expect to hear from me.  I do not have the stomach for politics any longer as it has simply nauseated me.   I'll keep those comments in my private chat groups. I've said my peace on that subject and will not waiver in my beliefs.  I am however scared for our country and our society as a whole.  With this being stated, my journey going forward is a spiritual journey.  I'll be expressing my thoughts on a higher plain and hopefully they will resonate. 

So to wrap up 2020, this is my last blog for the year.  The next two weeks will be spent enjoying the Christmas season with friends and Kristina.  I'll be putting together my New Year's Intentions in order to move forward with a happy, healthy heart.  2021, The Year of Promise will be a year of change, a year of new birth and awakening for all of us. I pray for health, happiness and a purpose for living for all my family and friends.  May God bless and keep you.

On New Year’s Day 1979, the Daily Word’s affirmation was “Today is a new beginning.” The accompanying verse was “I press on towards the goal of the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 3:14  ~Amen~

The Gaslighting of America

 As we move into December, we are finally finishing up 2020 The Year That Was.  I have chosen to put 2020 behind me.  Hindsight is 2020 and this is the year I want to look back at in my rearview mirror. Hopefully we never have another year like this one again.  Reflecting back, nothing seems clear or logical, nothing seems frankly remotely possible.  Nothing in 2020 was the real deal, just an illusion, a weird coincidence or just plain false.  We've been spoon fed little bits of truth by social media and Fake News.  They have twisted the truth in to their own reality and have used censorship to stop the flow of real information, logic and common sense.  This my friends is gaslighting.   

The definition of Gaslighting is making people question their judgement and sanity by deceiving them systematically.  It's a term that was used in the movie and stage play of the same name.  In the story, the victim's husband tries to convince his wife that she is insane.  He did this by twisting and distorting small pieces of the truth into her daily existence.   The husband accomplished this by insisting she was wrong, or had false memories or that she was in fact delusional.  When the wife tried to defend herself, she was mocked, ridiculed or made to think she was a lunatic.  Sound familiar?  Sadly, this year more so than in the past, we as a society have been gaslighted.  This week we're going to explore the topic so that we can begin 2021 with a new understanding and knowledge of the truth.  So let us examine a few examples of gaslighting.  

A popular form of gaslighting by the Left has to do with accusations of racism.  Only one person, a nameless individual who was too cowardly to identify herself (I know who it was by the way) actually came out and called me names after I published God Bless America.  I have to laugh at this person as she is a good example of someone who has drank the Koolaid.  She does not know me as an adult, so who is she to suggest something so vile?  She threw out insults by calling me a racist, a liar and a coward.  It doesn't matter now as I deleted the comment from my blog as dignifying her insane comments seemed ludicrous to me.  But screaming racism is a perfect example of how the left goes about the business of gaslighting.  

The second area the left likes to gaslight is religion.  For many years, the left has been feeding the false illusion that God is dead or those of faith are just a bunch of dumb downed robots who are worshipping a ghost.  Billions of people over millions of years have put their hope and trust in a deity of their choice. None will say they are unfulfilled with what they believe.  No one I know will ever tell you in their hearts and souls, their form of deity is false.  Those of faith know what they believe is real.   Folks, the gaslighting of religion is what makes a society weak and ripe for a take over.  The left hates religion as their religion is lies and false hope.  Arm up spiritual warriors and pick up your crosses and fight the fight.

Another area where left loves to gaslight is in social media.  The so called Facebook fact checkers really are a creative lot with what they perceive is fact verses fiction.  I love it when some fact checker points out in a post for instance about Covid 19, what they perceive is the truth as told by Dr Fauci.  He's supposedly the end all and be all of Covid information.  Too many well known and well respected scientists have pointed out that wearing masks is not effective.  The young, gullible Facebook fact checker immediately assumes the scientist is wrong and Dr Facui is correct.  By the way, Dr Fauci can't keep straight his position on the wearing of the dumb thing.  What he has effectively done  and has been allowed to do, is scare the living crap out of society.  We now must stand 6 feet away from our fellow human, we can no longer attend public events indoors or out in the open (unless it's a riot or left wing protest) or children go to school.  Drop the mask folks, make yourself known to society again and be the individual you were born to be.  As my friend Ginny pointed out recently; wearing the mask makes us invisible.  

The left has been gaslighting us on the subject of defunding the police.  That's just laughable as hand gun and ammo sales are at an all time high, now that the criminals are being let lose to loot and destroy?  Private citizens, especially in the inner cities, are trying to protect their families, homes and way of life.  Police are retiring or quitting the forces in droves as who in the world wants to be vilified for doing their job?  I smiled when I read the police were called out to the homes of the mayors of Chicago and Seattle as they were under attack by looters and rioters.  These two fools needed protection from the very thugs they so proudly defended.  Oh sweet justice when a Washington State Congress Critter needed police protection when her house was looted and partially destroyed.  Meanwhile, this nutcase wanted her local police defunded.  Better for me than thee... Wake up fellow citizens, we need the police, fire and other forms of protection, this is our basic right.  The second amendment needs to stand, be left alone and defended.  Don't drink the Koolaid, do not let yourselves be gaslighted.

The left loves to call us out when we the tax paying citizens, disagree with the destruction of our major cities.  Friends this is another form of gaslighting.  The City of New York is a good example of a city that is now a shithole as thugs were allowed to destroy it.  The mayor of this city is a known marxist, a communist and anti American lunatic who now has public agencies spying on Jewish synagogues, parks in Jewish neighborhoods and schools. Shades of 1932 Germany, shades of gaslighting the public.  Citizens of these late great cities like New York, Seattle, Chicago, Minneapolis or Milwaukee better wake up quick as they are losing their homes and business to gangs, drug dealers, thugs and roving bands of terrorists.  These once beautiful cities have been destroyed and They say we're the crazy ones?!  Simple question,  who's paying for this garbage, who's got the deep pockets funding this crap?

Finally the biggest form of gaslighting taking place today is the lockdowns.  Social interaction is a basic human right and a necessity.  More depression and suicides have occured since these barbaric lockdowns began.  As I write, Los Angeles County has been put on complete lockdown for the next three weeks!  This is communism, this is not for public safety.  This is for control of the masses, not to stop the spread of a virus that 98% of the population will recover from.  By the way, what ever happened to cases of the seasonal flu? People have lost their homes, businesses and way of life due to locking down society.  This is not communist China, Cuba or Venezuela.  This is America and we fell for this bull#$%@; we have been gaslighted.  

In a previous blog, I named 2021 The Year of Promise.  Let's move into 2021 by promising ourselves we will objectively look at the truth and objectively see society as it really is.  We need to stop reading social media and watching Fake News.  We need to stop accepting it as gospel truth.  Open your eyes, see the reality and gravity of what's going on.  My friends, we're on the verge of losing our country and worse our rights as American citizens.  People, we have been gaslighted!  Now is the time to wake up and smell the coffee before it's too late.

On Wednesday, September 21, 1988, the Daily Word's affirmation was "I rejoice in the truth that sets me free."  The accompanying verse was: "You will know the truth, and the truth will make you free." John 8:32    ~ Amen~

  

Let Us Be Thankful

I've experienced "writers block" again this week.  I'm not sure if there has been too much social media and Fake News or I'm running out of ideas!  All the same, lot's of thought has been spent to prepare for this week's tome.  My goal is to transfer my thankful heart into words.  This is Thanksgiving for heaven sake, so let's be thankful!

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, hands down.  The expectations are few; no gifts to buy, not much in the way of decorations, just good old fashioned food and drink with friends who are dear.  Since my family is sparse and I rarely see them, the friends I celebrate the holidays with have become the family I choose.  The last two years in Seattle, I spent Thanksgiving with Mike and Jeannie and other friends.  We had such fun, Jeannie is a great cook and never failed to out do herself.   Mike and I still play Words With Friends, he wins more than I do but what the heck, he's a good opponent.  I'm truly thankful I have stayed in contact with them.  Thank you for your friendship!

This year Thanksgiving will be spent with old friends who were classmates and some new friends.  Jeff and Susan will be hosting us and the class of '73 will celebrate together.  As in the past, we'll all bring something to the table.  Mom's mashed potato recipe and my cranberry sauce will be my contribution.  I'm saving the cherry pie for Christmas.  My Boise family will be celebrating together with good food, plenty of football and hearty laughter.  Different this year yes but it will be wonderful in a whole new way.

So as I move us into the holiday season, let us be thankful.  What are you thankful for?  I'm going to list a few from my heart to yours.

1.  I'm thankful to be alive and I didn't as yet, get the dreaded Covid.  I know people who did,  a couple elderly folks sadly died because of the virus.  The rest thankfully survived with little or no problem.  A couple even had it and never had a symptom.  Praise God!

2.  I'm thankful for my former life in Seattle and the friends I left behind.  Jane and Jon, Toni and Joyce to name a few are forever in my heart.  Your love and support over these last few years will never be forgotten.  I miss you.

3.  I'm thankful for this year's life experience and the lessons learned.  I'm stronger, wiser and still in one piece.  I wouldn't trade one minute of the last two years.  There is a blessing here and I'm thankful.

4.  I'm thankful for my Boise home.  I'm thankful for the process I went through to buy it and I'm thankful it's the perfect place for me to rest my bones, heal my heart and start over again.  This little house has been the perfect gift for me.  

5.  I'm thankful for the new friends I made over the last two years.  These are dear souls and I'm so thankful they still want to continue a friendship with me.  I won't name them but if they read this, they'll know who they are.  I never wanted to infringe on the good intentions behind meeting them but all the same, I'm grateful and very thankful they continue to be in my life.

6.  I'm very thankful for Ginny, Wendy, Jeff, Susan and other SMHS friends I've reconnected with.  These Boise peeps are now family to me.  Thank goodness we all agree for the most part, like and respect each other.  Ginny has been my rock and I believe I've been hers over the last two years.  I can never, ever thank her enough for her ear when I blubbered and shoulder when I cried.  Bless you girl.

7.  I have old friends from the past still in my life that I am truly thankful for.  My girl Robin is another rock.  45 years later and we can pick up right where we left off.  Love you my dear friend.  What would we do without each other?

8.  I'm thankful for my sweet and lovely daughter.  I love you sweetie and wish you were going to be home more this year.  We will celebrate Christmas together with friends.  You have grown up and I've accepted that.  Life does move forward and growing up is part of change.

9.  I'm thankful for the parents and grandparents who gave me a loving home and guidance throughout my life.  You live in my heart and will forever.  

10.  Finally, I'm thankful I live in the United States of America.  Even though we're going challenging times that no one in their right mind would have ever imagined, we still live in the USA and for that we should all be thankful.

The Daily Word published the following affirmation and accompanying verse on November 26, 1942.  It still holds true today:    

             The spirit of Thanksgiving increases my good and fills my heart with gladness. 

Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise.  Psalms 100:4

 

Happy Anniversary

Today's blog is a escape from last week's drama.  This is a love story of sorts, an honest account from my heart.  No sugar coating, just the real story.   So bear with me as I pay tribute to the man who gave me much more than a wedding ring and memories.  This is my thank you to my late husband who offered me the chance to live the dream, blessed me with the greatest joy I could ever have and the opportunity to begin again 26 years later.  

I'd been a career type girl you see, dated, played the field of sorts and enjoyed my life.  I was a hard working single woman, had a decent job and plenty of friends both male and female.  I wasn't too interested in getting married, I was self sufficient and completely at peace with my life.  I had just bought myself a small condo and was going to enjoy decorating it (something I love to do), settle in and wait for the next shoe to drop.  It did when one afternoon I needed to stretch, take a break and check on my team.  I don't normally drink coffee past 10am but that fateful day, I was desperate for a cuppa joe.  John was on the phone with a guy in my office.  They were reserve sheriff deputies together and I guess fixing a meeting schedule.  Something funny was said as I walked through the room and John asked Cliff if I was single.  One thing lead to another as it always does, and I was suddenly on speaker phone with him.  I guess looking back, I asked him out.  I had never asked a man out before but this afternoon I did.  We went out a couple of weeks later and never looked back.

John had been living with me in my condo when we found out we were going to have our little blessing, our bundle of joy.  I was not about to walk down the aisle looking 8 months gone so we quietly arranged a small wedding and there I was all the sudden married, a ring on my finger and decorating a baby's room.  Funny the path life takes, God's will of course and the dedication it took to hold our little family together through thick and thin. 

We went on for the next 19 years.  Marriage is no picnic, not a bed of roses or the sweet story we see in the movies.  It's takes hard work, dedication to a goal and a basic like and respect for one another.  We were friends who created a family together.  We were happy and content with life being what it was.  I did then and still now have a huge amount of respect for this smart, decent, funny and caring man.  Sadly neither of us really appreciated each other.  We were two very different people with different likes and dislikes. As it turned out, we weren't really that match made in heaven but we made it work.  We were friends.

When we found out John had pancreatic cancer, we were devastated, more for our daughter than us.  We had lived the seasons of our life together and this was our final season. Ten months from diagnosis date, John died. All day that last day, he had been looking in the corner above the Yankees clock, reaching for something that we couldn't see.  I was asleep on the couch next to his hospital bed, when he woke me up somehow.  He wanted to tell me he was leaving; woke Kristina as well.  He was still looking in that corner with outstretched arms.  At the end of his life, he had accepted Christ.  I like to hope it was Jesus's hand he took for the final journey home.  

Kristina and I have moved on now.  We are best friends, which is what her dad wanted. Life has changed in so many ways but the constants stay the same.  We miss him, his jokes, snide comments and love for the New York Yankees.  He'd be surprised I've been retired for 6 years,  living in Idaho and would enjoy talking planes and flight with Kristina's boyfriend Michael.  He would be teasing me for being a Seahawks fan, my love for the Dodgers and be complaining about my preference to like the house neat and clean.  We know however,  he's in his eternal home and at peace.   That's the blessing for us to hang on to.  So Happy Anniversary to you my friend and thank you for the life you gave and continue to give today.  XXOO

~For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven~                                       Ecclesiastes 3:1

God Bless America

As I sat this morning, pondering what I wanted to write about this week, I had so much on my mind but had no idea where to begin.  2020 The Year That Was is now becoming 2020 The Year We Lost America.  Do not scoff at me my friends, this is very real and me along with many of my friends, are in total agreement.  We all have become very concerned about the direction our beloved country is traveling.  We are concerned if our children and grandchildren will continue to enjoy the freedoms we grew up with.  What has happened in the United States of America this week, as I compose this blog, could be an attempted coup.  So, after careful thought and prayer, I decided this week I'd write about  America, the American way of life and America as a global leader.  

The United States of America was and is the greatest experiment ever created.  We are a free people, ALL of us, since 1865.   We've fought internal wars, global wars and became the peace keepers of the world.  The United States of America's people are the most generous, most compassionate most free thinking people in history.  Using our liberties, freedoms and God given rights, we have perhaps brought peace and prosperity to ourselves and to our friends throughout the world.

What happened this week is a travesty and nothing short of voter fraud, intimidation and frankly criminal intent.  Mal educated people believe that we live in a democracy, no we live in a Democratic Republic.  Mal educated, uninformed people believe that a corrupt old man with cognitive issues should become president.  Mal educated people believe that his running mate, a socialist, condescending, corrupt individual is appropriate to be vice president.  Her record in California speaks for itself.  Mal educated people believe that we should keep counting ballots until their side wins, even if dead people cast the ballot.  Mal educated people are becoming the norm in this country and want to lead us.  Mal educated people are bringing down our country and will crash it, willingly.  Sorry folks, this is a fact not fiction.  

I'd like to ask a question out loud, how does the side opposite of me justify all this?  How is the other side going to react when their old man steps down due to "health issues" and an avowed socialist becomes president?  How is the other side going to react when the current Speaker of The House (if she holds her seat) becomes the new vice president?  Probably with glee but the consequences will be drastic, un-sustaining and frankly folks devastating to our country and the world.  The state these two women represent is in a free fall, economically bankrupt and frankly folks, a Shit Hole.  Parts of the city of San Francisco are now slums with feces, urine and needles littering the streets.  Criminals run rampant in their state and businesses are escaping as fast as they can find a new home.  This my friends is what is going to run our country.  This my friends is the beginning of the end of the greatest experiment in the history of the world.  This my friends will be hard to ever recover from.

I'm very glad my parents, grandparents and those before them did not live to see America's destruction.  Many of my family were war veterans, starting back to the Revolutionary War (further back to Bacon's Rebellion).  These patriots fought for the same freedoms that are being given up so easily to socialism.  These patriots are crying in their graves now, knowing their own DNA voted for this garbage and support it.  These patriots along with others are heartsick and frankly angry at the destruction, that is foreseeable in the not so distant future.  

I don't mean to sound bitter but I'm angry.  Mal educated, complacent Americans have let this happen.  Mal educated, complacent Americans are not going to like the life they find so attractive.  Mal educated people really do not understand that what they support will turn the USA into Venezuela, Cuba or any third world dictatorship.  Mal educated, complacent Americans will be the first people to scream they can't buy toilet paper, staples for their pantries or fuel to run cars, trucks, planes and trains.  These same people will cry the blues when more businesses go under or move to states friendly to economic prosperity.  These same people will be crying when they can no longer worship God in their favored houses of worship.  These people have been deluded by destructive media propaganda, censored social media and left wing colleges with a left wing agenda.

So what can we do moving forward?  Wake up and look around and begin to understand that what you now have could be gone in the blink of an eye.  Wake up and understand that socialism is communism without a gun.  Wake up before your rights are gone and we live like zombies waiting to be told what to do next.   I woke up a number of years ago, long before it was cool to be woke.  I went to sleep for a short period but re-woke when the noise from the other side got deafening.  Wake up my friends, America is worth saving.  America, the greatest experiment ever created is the saving grace for world peace.  I pray in my heart; God Bless America.

Sunday July 4, 1965, The Daily Word's affirmation was: "GOD BLESS THIS COUNTRY AND ALL THE WORLD WITH NEWNESS OF VISION, GREATNESS OF SPIRIT, AND ABUNDANCE OF PEACE."    The words of America The Beautiful rang true then as it does today:

"O beautiful for pilgrim feet; Whose stern, impassioned stress, A thoroughfare for freedom beat Across the Wilderness!  America! America! God mend thine every flaw, Confirm thy soul in self-control, Thy liberty in law!"

Investing In The Future

I had another blog prepared for this week, more of a girl's type blog about friendships.  It's saved and will be used at a later date.  But, for some reason, it really didn't resonate for this week and the times we have found ourselves in.  Oddly or not so oddly as a friend of mine would say, I heard a talk radio interview with a money manager, finance type guy and he was talking about investing for the future.  Then it hit me, Investing In The Future is a much more appropriate theme for this week.  As always, these are my thoughts and beliefs so hold on tight as we commence.

Investing in the future is much more than our finances, bank accounts, mutual funds or CD's waiting to mature.  Investing in the future is much more than buying a few silver bars or gold coins. Investing in the future is an investment in our entire way of life as we know it.  By this time, if you're in my age group and you haven't got a few dollars socked away, then you're going to live hand to mouth for the rest of your life.  Rest assured, it's doable, just be careful with how you spend and you'll be fine.  Investing in the future is a physical, emotional and a spiritual investment into a lifestyle one wants to live.  In my case, I have 25 good years left, how do I want to live them going forward?.

Physically, I'm in good shape, tip top for lack of better wording.  Who out there can also say the same?  I've eliminated sugar completely from my diet, I keep to a low or no carb diet and I exercise at least three times a week?  Is this enough I ask myself? I feel better right now than I did ten years ago.  Yes I could lose that stubborn ten pounds Covid and depression handed me.  When I look in the mirror, I can truly say I look okay for a sixty five year old baby boomer.  So check mark on the physical side of life.

How is the emotional side doing?  Well, I'm doing fine finally on that side of the equation.  Yes, it's been a rough six months but I'm on the back side of it now.  Life is good in Idaho, fresh air, sunshine, good friends and plenty to keep me busy, has cured the "what ailed" me.  I'm not fragile anymore or prone to tears, I have a smile on my face and a song in my heart.  I can truly say I love life again and I'm ready for a new adventure.  The next trip to the UK is on paper but the wait to travel again is still on.  We'll see but for now, check mark on emotional.

So then we get to spiritual...  Years ago, when I attended Catholic mass I used to ask myself, what is this?  What is it I'm supposed to believe in?  As time went by, I realized this is not for me, too much church doctrine not enough Biblical truth.  Please understand, this is my opinion only and I do not wish to insult my Catholic friends.  I frankly am one to say, if this is what and how you want to believe, God be with you.  I am not arrogant enough to claim I know the perfect way to believe, no one is actually.  

To continue on with the spiritual side of life, 22 years ago I started attending evangelical churches, catering to "my way or the highway."  The luster has finally worn off and I now clearly see that wasn't for me either.  So now what, I asked myself about 2 years ago?  So as I'm sure my readers are asking, where are you spiritually now, Terry?  What do you believe in and have you invested in the future spiritually?  

Here I go, wading into deep waters and horror of horrors the truth as I have come to understand it.  I believe in God, the Father Almighty, maker of heaven and earth.  I believe in what the Bible has to offer but have come to understand, there is more to it than that.  These last two years I began to expand my horizons, investigate beliefs that may be outside the conventional norm and what most of the people I know can comprehend.  What I have come out with is that there is one God, the ruler of the Universe and he directs my daily life.  I meditate daily, listen to my inner voice and she directs my every thought and move.  I also believe in my angels, they're in the Bible, I can feel them with me through out the day, leaving me little signs they're listening.  Jesus knows me well and knows that I'm open and honest with him.  Is my spiritual future secure? You betcha!  I know when I die, wherever I go, I will be at peace.  Am I finally at peace with God?  Yes.  I've been very mad at him, more than once but in the long run, he's never failed me.  Is my investment in my spiritual future secure, check mark a big fat yes thank you.  Is my way good for everyone?  No but it's my way, the way I've come to understand and enjoy. 

As I close this week's blog, I just thank the God of the Universe for bringing me peace, joy, love and my Investment in The Future.   I am grateful for my way of life here in the United States.  I am asking Him now to bring the World peace, harmony, joy and love in the coming years.  

The Daily Word's affirmation for Thursday, August 27, 1981 was "Investment." "Today I make an investment in life and life repays me richly." The accompanying  verse was "The point is this: Whoever  sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and he who sows with blessings shall also reap from blessings:  each one giving, just as he has determined in his heart, neither out of sadness, nor out of obligation. For God loves a cheerful giver." 2 Corinthians 9: 6-7

Waking Up In Autumn

Autumn is arguably my favorite time of year.  The other seasons are just fine as they are significant to Mother Earth and ourselves.  But, Autumn is my time, the time when we wind down the year, reflect on our blessings and welcome in winter.  I love the smell of the air, orange and red leaves and pumpkins everywhere one looks.  Because we are reflecting,  this week let's take a gander back in time.  Let's reflect one last time on 2020 The Year That Was.  What has this year has taught us (me mostly) and what should we reflect on this autumn?

As I've mentioned in previous blogs, 2020 started out with promise, friendship and a profound sense of wellbeing.  My thought processes had shifted, I had learned to trust again and frankly I opened my heart and soul.  I don't plan to dwell on this sad topic any longer as it's boring, redundant and frankly not worth my breath.   Suffice to say, it's in the past where it belongs and thank you Jesus I have moved forward.  However,  its still an integral part of 2020 but the book is now closed and put away on the shelf of time. 

So as we are now firmly entrenched in Autumn leaves and shifting towards winter, my readers may be asking; Terry  what did you learn from all this?   What I want to say is, lessons were learned the hard way, trust was tested and caution now being employed.  I'm reticent to open my soul again as my heart was betrayed.  As a woman it's hard to admit, as we seem to be very anxious to trust.  What I want to impart to my women friends is however; go slow, be cautious and keep your eyes wide open.  

So for me, 2020 The Year That Was, simply sucked.  Where in this autumn season do I go from here?  Where as a society do we go as we can not continue as we are now?  Since now I am almost fully "Woke,"  I of course have a few suggestions. I am writing this mostly for my women readers but men may learn something as well.

• Trust but with abundant caution. The news media, social media, any media should be listened to and dissected for half truths and lies.  The lies and distortions being spewed are pure evil. 
• Listen carefully and if something smells wrong, it's wrong.  Simply trust your gut.
• Be cautious with feelings, information and your thought processes.  TMI is not healthy and will set one up for heartbreak and deceit. 
• Listen to that still small voice of the Divine.  It will speak as loudly as you allow it to and it's never wrong.  
• Trust and Obey.   If your still small voice says no, obey because the answer is no.  If it's enthusiastic, then go forward with joy and happiness.
• Wake Up and enjoy life.  Waking up is a concept more than getting out of bed in the morning.  Being woke means one is fully engaged with life, with your inner self, with the Divine.  Being woke means your senses are on high frequency and tuned in to what God is saying.  I woke up and my understanding is becoming oh so clear.
• Eliminate guilt from your life.  Don't be guilty because of mistakes you may have made.  We all make them and will continue to do so.  Traditional thought is centered around guilt and judgement.  Our toughest critic is ourselves.  Just stop, bless the mistake and move forward. 
• Bless those who have caused you grief.  When one blesses, one frees themselves from the chains and ties that continue to bind us in our grief process.  I have done this, it works.  You will feel free again and your soul will be at peace. 
• Finally, and this topic has been discussed ad nauseam, forgive.  Nuff said.

In conclusion, Autumn is the time when we take that assessment of the year and settle ourselves into the cold of winter.  I'm anxious to find out how winter plays out here in Boise.  I know it will be cold, it will snow but I'll embrace the season with joy.  Cold, snow and ice will turn into flowers in the spring, a new beginning and anticipation for the good things that will come.  I have an abundance of hope for 2021.  The Year That Was will become in 2021, the Year of Promise.  2021 will be a year we forgive the past, anticipate the future and Wake Up to our new beginning.  I'm excited for 2021.  I'm excited to see what God has in store for me, my family, my friends, for my country and for the world. 

2021 The Year of Promise, the name has a sweet ring to it.  

Tuesday May 10, 2005, The Daily Word published this affirmation about Guidance and Promise: "I live a life of promise and purpose as I follow a divine plan of good."  The accompanying scripture verse was: "You are indeed my rock and my fortress; for your name's sake lead me and guide me."  Psalm 31:3.

Creating a Joy Filled Life

This morning, Thursday, I woke up having no idea what the subject would be for this week's blog.  No one seems to be tired of my thoughts yet and I try hard to make them interesting each week.  My friend Kristina (not my daughter but the name is spelled correctly) suggested I could have Writers Block from time to time but to call on my inner voice and the words would flow.  So taking my friend's advise, I did just that.  I journal every morning, set my intentions for the day and check the Daily Word for it's daily affirmation.  The urge to check the affirmation was so strong this morning, I looked before I started to write and voila, there was my topic for this week, Joy!  How joyful I felt, how free I felt to write about joy, the joy in my life and the joy I've experienced during times of trial.  So, let us commence with the affirmation that inspired me this morning.

"Joy - Divine Joy is Mine."  The accompanying scripture is from Luke 1:47 - "And my spirit leaps for joy in God my Saviour."

So what is Joy my readers may ask, what is Terry's interpretation of Joy?  Joy is more than a 35 point Scrabble word,  an emotion we feel when we get an A on a test, or our steak is cooked to perfection.  Webster defines Joy as:  "The emotions evoked by well-being: Success,"  "Good fortune or the prospect of possessing what one deserves: Delight."  "The expression or exhibition of such emotion: Gaiety."  "State of happiness or felicity: Bliss."  "A source or cause of Delight." These are all very good descriptions of Joy but what is Joy, really?  What is that feeling that makes us feel successful, giddy, blissful or full of delight?

As I sit and ponder the word, I can close my eyes and remember the complete joy and happiness I felt when I looked into the eyes of my baby for the first time.  The absolute miracle of birth, the perfection in her sweet little face was probably the first time I ever experienced the feeling of profound joy.  The miracle of birth is really what it is, a true miracle.  It's different for mom's and dads I think.  We moms carry that baby for 9 months, nurture it and love it before we even know who he or she is.  Dads on the other hand, in my humble opinion, are walking in complete disbelief they could have assisted with it's creation.  I do not think they grasp who this baby is until they see it for the first time.  Daddy then feels the true emotion of pure love.  This is Joy my friends and I hope some Daddy's will comment as their take will be an interesting read.

Joy can be found in in our daily lives but we must be open to it, willing to welcome it into our existence and open our eyes and hearts to it's possibility.  So dear reader, what brings Joy to your life?  What brings you the ultimate peace we all search for?  I of course have a few ideas as this is my blog and my voice.  These may be different than how others view Joy but all the same, it is food for thought as we move forward in life.

 Search your soul - I meditate in the mornings after I journal.  Mornings work well for me as my mind is still open and not corrupted by social media or my morning drive guy (he's good by the way but the topics can be distracting and corrupting).  Keeping our minds open in the silence of the morning allows God to speak to our hearts and soul.  This is pure Joy, as the voice of the Divine is pure, sweet and oh so welcome especially in these times.

 Journal - There she goes again with this journaling thing.  I know, I know, I bring this subject up all the time but the Joy that will flow from your heart on to the pages of your journal will offer the ultimate peace of mind.  This blog flowed first onto the pages of my daily journal, my blog journal and now on to this venue.  This is pure Joy for me, pure peace of mind.

 Spiritual Reading - I know not all my readers are Christians or read the Bible.  This is fine by me actually as I never wanted to appeal to just one group.  My hope is that my voice will resonate with many people of all beliefs.  The gist of this section however, is to read something that rings true to your soul.  My Daily Word affirmations and accompanying verse are what ring true to me.  The Joy I find in the words from the Divine have helped me during times of sorrow, sadness and immense grief.  They are pure Joy as my heart has been healed so many times and for this I'm grateful and so Joyful. 

 Practice Gratitude -   Gratitude goes a long way.  If we can find something or someone to be grateful for, pure Joy will be found.  I can look back on my darkest moments and find Joy.  Through my tears, Joy has poured out. Heck, I'm sensitive and caring enough to recognize my Joyful heart.  A Joyful Heart can be hurt and will heal.  I know this is so, please trust me.  Over the last eight years, I've experienced some of the most gut wrenching sadness a person could ever experience.  But I'm alive, I survived and I lived to see the next morning.  I am grateful now even though during the times of sadness, I wasn't so sure.  The sun came out the next day, shone through the clouds and all is well with my soul.  This is joy.  I AM GRATEFUL!

 Open Your Eyes - Keep your eyes and heart open all day and do not let a opportunity for Joy go to waste.  See the beauty in all of creation and remember we are all the creation of the Divine.  Reflect back to those you encounter along your daily path and bless them.  One will never know the impact we make on others by simply blessing them.  There is always someone to bless, it's my daily ritual.

So today, moving forward with our lives, live a life filled with joy and happiness.  Live each day like it's your last and don't look back but look forward.  Peace and joy are waiting for each one of us, if you allow it to be so.  Open your heart and let Joy flow in.  I've done this, it works and I thank God.

On March 28, 1973, the Daily Word offered this affirmation: "I start this day with a feeling of joy, and it stays with me."  The accompanying verse was "For you shall go out in joy and be led forth in peace."  Isaiah 55:12.   May peace and Joy be with you.  Amen

 

    

Become Your Authentic Self

Being true to ourselves is essential to self growth both spiritually and mentally.  Part of my journey over these last 18 months has been to establish my own Authentic Self and living my true life.  It's amazing really, what one encounters along the path to spiritual enlightenment.  I am not claiming to be a spiritual being such as the Buddha as I am a Christian, nor do I profess to be on the high plain Jesus walked as he was the Divine One, the Messiah, the son of God.  I'm just a lowly woman living a normal life in the United States of America.  What I do claim however, is that I have something to offer the world using my pen (or in this case my laptop).  This week, we will discuss being our Authentic Self.  I will most likely bare more of my soul than normal but here we go, warts and all.

Philosopher Rene Descartes described "enlightenment" as "I think therefore I am."  Simple really but so very profound.  The key is "I think."  Our very thoughts turn into words, into deeds, into the way we live our lives.  "I think" is what we think of ourselves, our version of ourselves to the rest of the world, what we show the world through the lenses of our own eyes.  What we think, we manifest into our lives.  I've been reading the Secret.  It is simple, profound, easy to understand and the Secret works.  It's a New Age book and does it ever resonate with me and my core beliefs.

For many years, I thought I was dumb, ugly, fat and frankly not worthy.  This was brought on by years of negativity and years of putting myself in situations that were not necessarily the best situations for me.  As wonderful as my parents were, I can still hear them asking if I really wrote that paper that earned me an A in high school, or telling me not to get too full of myself when a cute boy in the 7th grade told me I had beautiful brown eyes.  Oh I forgot this little gem, "my you've gained a few pounds."  We all have heard these words and we have all fallen into the trap of feeling "Less Than."  I forgave many years ago for those well meaning but sadly cruel words.  It was not until recently, I really forgave (previous blogs).  Words, that's all they were but still they hurt and notice how I never forgot them after 55 years.  I could bring up more hurts from the past, a marriage gone sideways, friendships thrown in to the dustbin of history, yada yada yada but all is forgiven now.  We move on and don't look back.

These last two years were my graduation years, the years I finally realized I am okay, I became "Woke."  I woke up and found out that life is more than what we can see, touch or understand.  I found out over these last two years, in the last third of my life, I could live and be who God made me to be; be the friend I want to be, be the mom Kristina deserves and to be my Authentic Self.  As I've mentioned, I even found love but for a minute, it was true love and I found out I was okay in that department as well.

So how do we get over those words, the cruelty of friends and family who think they are doing us a favor by telling it "like it is."  How do we live to be our Authentic Selves and how do we live to be that child of God we are called to be.  As usual I have a few suggestions.

1.  Self Knowledge - Pray, meditate, walk a labernath anything but go within and start really delving into your soul.  I have been doing this faithfully.  I replaced the negative thoughts with positive affirmations and wow, what a difference that made in my heart and soul.  After a 30 day study in a book called The Lotus and The Lily by Janet Connor, I came out on the other side with knowledge of my authentic self.  This is another New Age book so it may not resonate for some but it sure did with me and I'll be always grateful to Janet and her beautiful words of wisdom and love. 

2. Take the time for Me Days - Do for yourself, if it means going on a shopping spree for new clothes, furniture or just a walk in the park, these are "You Activities" and you will find them valuable.  After my husband died, I went out and bought all new family room furniture, spent a ton of dough and it all still looks good today (except for the couch which I'm having reupholstered).  Regardless, that day with me in that furniture store, lifted my spirits, lightened my wallet and I'd gladly do it again.  A full day in Nordstrom or Dillard's is a lift, a fun time and another diet for the wallet.  They are Me Days and oh so valuable.   

3.  Don't be a fool and rush in - I waited five years after John died to attempt any kind of relationship with anyone.  I'm so glad I did as it gave me a chance to grieve, put my finances in order and reestablish my life.  I'm again playing the Waiting Game, as rushing into something with someone new will just hurt all parties and do no one any good.  I have complete faith God will put someone in my life again, but it's God's timing not mine.  If it happened once, it will happen again.  It will happen for anyone who truly wants it and believe with their whole heart and soul.

4.  Don't be afraid to be alone - Its not a bad thing to be alone. Plenty of us chose this alternative while we're waiting for Mr. Right or as a permanent lifestyle.  I was alone for many years before I got married and have been alone since John died. The year with Mr. Wonderful in my life was a detour from being alone and yes it was a blessing, a learning experience and a gift from God.  I have plenty of friends and going home to my alone time just fine while I play the Waiting Game.  Try it, its not so bad. If you get lonely, get a dog, call a friend or join a chat room. Any of these ideas are just fine. Alone is fine but remember,  God is always with you, tapping your shoulder to try new things or just to have a chat. 

5.  Take a trip - Over the last 6 years, I've been to the UK three times, twice with friends, once alone.  Traveling and seeing the world sets us up for life long educational experiences, knowledge of something new and frankly tons of fun. I relive those trips through my pictures and can remember that time when...  So cool, so wonderful and so lovely a memory.  My next trip is being considered now.  My friend Tracey in Egypt keeps telling me to come to her center in Cairo and join her tour group.  Scotland has been calling me back as I still have unfinished family research to accomplish.  We'll see, I have plenty of time to figure out where and when.

6.  Find a good church, synagogue or other spiritual center you can resonate with.  As I have mentioned in previous blogs, I found a great church here in Boise where my soul feels free, the gospel is preached with confidence and I can fellowship with like minded new friends.  Being with God in whatever form you find comfortable is wonderful and so helpful when the dark moods or depression set in, trust me I've been there and done that too.   

7.  Being authentic means being true to yourself, with what you believe, feel and how you speak your mind.  Speak with clarity and compassion, not negative or unfeeling.  Speak with the knowledge you feel in your heart and soul and do not apologize for what you believe.  I will no longer apologize to anyone for being a conservative, Republican or having alternative views on certain issues.  These are my views and mine alone.  No one on earth needs to agree with me but please, no judgements as only God is allowed to judge.  I'm tired of being judged.

8.  Finally,  simply be at peace with your life.  Live your life as you see fit and do not apologize to anyone for your happiness and peace of mind.  You are the one who's lived your life to this point.  Be happy, be at peace and be confident that you are okay; comfortable in your own skin.  Remember, we are all Whole, Perfect and Complete.

The Daily Word published the following on August 2, 2004: "Authentic - I am true to myself, genuine toward others, and one with God" 

The complementary Bible verse was "For you were darkness, in times past, but now you are light, in the Lord. So then, walk as sons of the light. For the fruit of the light is in all goodness and justice and truth, affirming what is well-pleasing to God."  Ephesians 5:8-9

 

Let There Be Light

Water and light are the very essence of life, we know this as humans as we can not live without either.  Water is essential, just spend an hour in the desert and you'll find out how thirsty one can become without good old H2O.  Light is the same, plants can not grow without light, humans can not function without our Vitamin D. Only mushrooms and bats can survive without light, bats are blind and mushrooms well, you know...  Terry, why bring up light you may ask?  Light is the topic for this week and we will start out with the word of God and proceed from the very beginning. 

The first lines in the old testament say the following:

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.  And the earth was without form, and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep.  And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.  And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.  And God saw the light and it was good; and God divided the light from the darkness.  Genesis 1:1-4

Sadly in these times, 2020 The Year That Was, was the year we lived in darkness.  Reverend Kevin mentioned last week in his sermon that we are okay but are we?  So I ask my readers, are you okay, really okay?  I can say I am okay to a point then the Okay starts to fade and the Not So Okay becomes apparent.  This is not because of personal Issues or moving from my security blanket.  I blame it on the darkness enveloping the earth these days.  

I've mentioned this in previous blogs, I truly feel a darkness has descended on our earth, our lifestyle and the entire fabric of our society.  Oh I know some blame President Trump, balderdash I say.  Some blame the republicans, others the democrats, more balderdash!   I say it's time we as humans start to examine our hearts, souls, thoughts and frankly our mortal existence.  What has happened to our society when good manners, social graces, morals and common sense leave us and we become like rabid vermin, attacking one another?  Let me make a few observations and hope to clarify them with answers.

1.  We have forgotten how to treat people with basic respect.  All of us had some sort of respect drilled into our heads from the time of birth.  This is all of us, no one is immune from a parent’s reprimand and correction.  I remember sticking my tongue out at my mother when she walked out of the room   I can still hear her say; “I saw that, next time it will be snipped off.” As a young child, I was afraid of my mother,  very afraid so that happened maybe twice but not three times to be sure. What mom was teaching was basic respect. No elbows on the table, speak when spoken to, say please and thank you; these were basic corrective actions given to small children.  I still carry them today in my day to day life. As an adult however, I do speak up more often but that’s because I’m by nature chatty, and enjoy a good conversation.

2.  Has anyone noticed lately the amount of swearing in normal conversation?  Okay, I confess, I’ve let a few slip out more than once, I’m no saint.  Usually it’s when I’m watching the news, angry at something or ticked off that Russell Wilson didn’t connect his pass.  Notice how the F word seems to be a staple in our conversation today.  No one seems to be offended when they hear it!  We’ve become so desensitized that we tend to ignore it.  When and how did this happen?  It’s time we get back to civility and replace foul language with words we would use when we’re talking to grandma.  My dad used to say, using foul language shows a person does not have a good command of the English language.  Daddy as always was correct and I promise to clean up my language starting today.

3.  What is extremely disturbing these days is how the word racist keeps being thrown around so cavalierly.  It’s now being used as an excuse for a disagreement.  I am not a racist nor do I know any racists. I do know people who are sick and tired of watching a bunch of thugs trying to burn down our cities, attack our police or think they can walk on to private property and simply declare it’s now theirs (this is happening, watch the news). Recently I saw a video of diners in an outdoor restaurant, eating their meal while being harassed by a bunch of hoodlums screaming in their faces.  The diners were perceived to be racists if they spoke up and defended themselves.  This should never be allowed, a diner paying for their meal has the right to sit and enjoy it.  Private property is just that, private.  No one has the right to walk on someone else’s lawn and declare it theirs.  

4.  We have lost complete respect for human life in this country.  I am not talking about abortion, that’s another subject for another day.  What I’m talking about is respect for our fellow human.  This lack of respect is for police, fire, military, public officials and frankly you and I. The Mask Nazi’s are out throwing insults at people who won't wear the stupid thing.  This mask thing is absurd and our basic right to decide for ourselves has been taken away.   I'm past the point of thinking the mask thing is okay, I'm now mad my right to decide for me is gone. This is communism folks, remember Venezuela, Cuba, the old Soviet Union and yes China.  This is America, land of the free, home of the brave.  We are NOT a communist country nor we will ever be one if I have anything to do with trying to stop it.

5.  Notice that lately, Americans are being stripped of the basic right to defend ourselves and frankly folks, this is scary.  The sale of guns and ammunition is at an all time high and an all out civil war will take place if we're not careful.   I'm one who believes it's already started, it's just not full blown yet. Americans believe in the Second Amendment, it’s in our constitution, next to free speech and along side the women’s right to vote.  

So what do we as Americans do, as citizens of the world, responsible people?  We start speaking out loud and often and we stop putting up with the nonsense. This is plain and simple frankly and very easy to do.  Start speaking kindly again, watch your language and start acting not reacting.  Start living life with love, happiness and care for your neighbor.  It’s time we wake up and truly ask ourselves, is this how we want to spend the rest of our lives?  Do we want our children and grandchildren to live in darkness? It’s time to examine our soul and ask if  we want the light of God, The Universe to shine through us or the darkness of evil   I’m choosing the God of the universe and I believe if we all chose God, the darkness will disappear and light will shine bright on this earth.  We will begin to love one another again and peace will rein.

Sunday May 29, 1983 the Daily Word published this affirmation along with the Bible verse above:         

"Let there be light and let it shine through me"                                                      

 "Let there be light.  Let there be light in me guiding light in my mind, healing light in my body, harmonizing light in my world.  Let there be light in all who are dear to me.  Let there be light in all the people in all the world.  Let there be no place where darkness remains.                                                      

"Let there be light.  Let the  people of our world seek for light, live for light, lead one another in to the light.  Let there be light in all darkened areas.  Let there be light in the minds of us all, in the affairs of our world."

~ Praise be to God, amen 

Rejuvenation of The Soul

Since my last blog, I've been a busy bee.  September is my birthday month, the month school starts, the end of the third quarter of the year and the jump start to the fourth quarter.  Frankly, September is the month  the earth starts to regenerate and ready itself for the next season.  This month is the month I regenerated and began my life anew.  Oh I know, I moved in June.  June was my launching point, September 2020 was the month I got started. 

So let me take us back to the beginning, the truth that will explain.  You see I fell in love, yes me!  It was wonderful, exciting and I was head over heels.  We talked, we traveled, we had wonderful experiences.  Needless to say however, I missed the warning signs, red flags and the little ticky things that we women miss when we put the object of our affections on a pedestal.  They become Mr. Wonderful in our minds, I did that and more.  Sadly  however, life changed, the red flags became dramatic and my entire wonderful love affair ground to an abrupt halt and simply disappeared.  Yes poof, disappeared.  Hard to say why and I have stopped asking but I now understand very clearly and it makes me sad for Mr. Wonderful.  I have completely forgiven him and now I'm moving forward on a clearer path and one which makes sense.  I'm not bitter, angry or sad anymore.  Disappointed yes but none of the former. I realized that life has it's ebbs and flows, beginnings and endings, time for every purpose under heaven.  Mr. Wonderful for those who may be asking is simply a wonderful human being, a true sweet soul and the most intelligent man I have ever known.  I wish him nothing but happiness, peace, health and hopefully a life he's happy with.  I pray daily for him and hope he can feel my prayers.  But now it's time I move forward.  Call me sometime, I'd like to chat, no strings attached.

So, what's next for Terry one may ask?  Oh my gosh, this is where my regeneration starts, my new life started and new opportunities begin.  So let's reflect on September or better start back when I arrived in Idaho with my dear friend Toni (who came along for the ride) and my sweet Bonnie girl.  

First off, my new home is perfect.  My house is unpacked, pictures hung, garden started and the yard has been been improved.  Idaho is hot in the summer, cold in the winter and spring and fall are gorgeous.  My roses are still flourishing and there is a place in my garden for more bushes to be planted next spring.  My new hole digger is a darling young man who also mows my lawn and who gives me good advise on Idaho horticulture.  What a blessing he is!

I found an nice church and my new pastor is astute, gracious and very caring.  I joined a Bible study and plan to attend the Sunday services regularly.  Lucky me, I didn't have to church shop long.  I say thank you to Kevin for accepting me into the "fold."  I appreciate the friendship we've started and ear you're willing to lend me if needed.

I found a new gym (as noted in other blogs and pictures on Instagram).  My new trainer has me back in Beast Mode and puts me through the paces.  Now I just need to lose that Covid Ten pounds so the skinny jeans fit again.  So thank you Sarah for your friendship and kindness.  You are a blessing.

Idaho has also blessed me with new friends, reestablished some old friendships and given me a social life.  There are a few of us here from San Marino High School and we get together regularly.  So thank you for your friendship Ginny and Jeff and we look forward to welcoming Wendy into our group.  Fun times, great food and conversation is our goal.

My dear friend Suzanne Ross invited me to Sedona last weekend.  I went still weepy and sad from the love that went wrong and returned home, refreshed, rejuvenated and ready to take on the world.  Lucky me or shall I say blessed me, I met up with another powerful woman who has invited me into her world.  I will start working with her to establish my "mission" and I can't wait to get started.  My mission from the Universe, that I chose to accept, will be to help other women of any age group reestablish their lives after a breakup or death of a spouse.  My pen will be my sword as these last seven years have been a growth experience that I believe I can share with others.

Lastly, September gave me the opportunity to realize how truly blessed I am, how loved I am by my family and many friends.  These are true souls who let me cry when the love went wrong, tell my story over and over again and never once judged me in any way.  I say thank you to my daughter Kristina (who put up with my sobbing tears) Ginny, Toni, Joyce, Jane, Robin and my cousin Vickie.  I'm good now, healing still but on the road to the new beginning I know God has in store for me.

Today's Daily Word sums up this week's blog:

Purpose - I search my feelings and discover my purpose.

Proverbs 20:5 explains, "Counsel of the heart of a man is like deep waters.  But a wise man will draw it out"

Where Did Time Go?

The title Senior Citizen has finally caught up to yours truly.  It's amazing actually as I think about it and begin to embrace the milestone of turning 65.  My birthday isn't until next week but I officially became a senior on September 1 when Medicare kicked in.  How can this be, how could time have flown so quickly?  It seems like only yesterday we were starting kindergarten, graduating for high school, getting married and having babies.  It seems like just the other day, I was in London celebrating 64.  Where did the time go? 

As I look over the years, I wonder how I got to this point in my life.  I believe we all ponder this question, in one way or another.  I remember the first day of school, excited to see who my teacher would be, who would be my classmates, which boy I'd have a crush on that year.  Every day during my working years would be the same but different.  I had a great career but it's over now as I've been retired for 6 blessed years.  Where did the time go?

As a new mom, I used to look with wonder into my new baby's eyes.  I could clearly see the beauty in her soul and marvel that this is my child, the one who's bones I knitted in my body.  I remember once my mother saying, "enjoy her now because the next thing you know, she'll be graduating from high school."  Yup, time flew and she graduated from high school, college and now she's a lovely young woman who I still look at with awe and wonder.  Where did the time go?

Over the years, with the passing of my loved ones, I think back to the times we were all together.  Those holiday times where we'd be gathered as a family, cousins running the house, my grandmother making the Christmas gravy, Easter egg hunts and birthday parties.  I can still hear Dad and Uncle Jack discussing politics and laughing at some joke us kids probably didn't need to hear.  Only yesterday we were sitting at the breakfast nook Dad built, blowing out candles on the birthday cake and opening our presents.  Where did the time go?

As I look back, I see a blessed life, with wonderful parents and grandparents who loved me.  I see with clear eyes, a childhood that was generally happy, an adulthood that has had it's shares of ups and downs but blessed all the same.  It's been a wonderful life but still, where did the time go?

Over this last year, I became more aware than ever before of the passing of time.  I believe, my 64th year was one of growing and learning.  I listened to several lectures, all trying to explain ways of the Universe.  With this new knowledge and understanding, I believe I made myself right with God and my eyes have been opened.  Thinking back at the places I visited, people I met and friendships secured, I'm left in awe and wonder.  Still, that nagging question comes up again, where did the time go?

So as I enter my 65th year, I am back to being a child of wonder.  I have realized how much more I have to learn, how many more places to visit, people to meet and friends to make.  I haven't given up on love as giving up means defeat and I'm not defeated.  Life is what one makes it and moving forward, I'm making my life the best ever.

So, I say thank you to God, my parents and grandparents.  I say thank you to Kristina and John for being there and to the many unnamed people who have blessed me over the years.  I'll not be writing my blog for the next two weeks as I'm going to travel, celebrate life and my new beginning.  So with this being said, Happy Birthday to me!  

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8: "There is a time for every purpose under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die, a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted, a time to kill and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace."

Playing The Waiting Game

Merriam Webster defines waiting as "To stay in place, to remain stationary, in readiness or expectation."  We are all waiting for something, it's part of the human condition.  We all want something, a possession, a desire, a new love, something. My Christian friends are waiting for Jesus to return.   But what should we do in order to obtain our desire?  How shall we live our lives, make use of our time, or conduct ourselves while we're playing the Waiting Game?  This week, we are going to explore the topic of waiting and possibly answer a few questions.

Life is a Waiting Game, we wait and we wait.  I remember my grandmother saying, she was always waiting for someone.  It could have been my grandfather to drive her grocery shopping or Aunt Barbara coming to pick her up for the holiday celebrations.  My grandma did not drive, so she was dependent on others.  But she always seemed to be waiting, sitting in her chair by the window, waiting.  

I've played the waiting game over the years.  As a child it was waiting for Santa, my birthday, summer, or a play date with a friend.  As I got older, it was waiting for the phone to ring, the promise of a new job, places to go, people to meet.  I can remember waiting for that someone special to call (I'm still waiting) or the count down to a vacation.  My life has been a Waiting Game, as I'm sure it's been for everyone else.

I can remember waiting in anticipation for my first trip to the UK in 2016.  Laying out clothes, changing my money to British pound sterling, and checking the weather app.  I went back to the UK alone in 2018 and I still played the waiting game, same game, different year.  This trip had more anticipation as I was alone and a little apprehensive as a woman traveling by herself.  Last year's trip was with a trusted friend.  The weeks of waiting and planning flew by and finally, we met up in London and had a glorious time.  All the trips were of varying lengths of time away, all were such fun and all had to end.  The waiting game was played and then the "let down."  Now what, what's next?

What's Next is also part of the waiting process.  It's again, part of the human condition.  All good times must come to an end as my mother was always quick to remind me, but they are usually followed up by another good time, another new friend or simply a new time in life.

I've come up with a few ideas of how to play the Waiting Game and solving the problem of What's Next?  Hopefully my readers will agree and offer suggestions of more.

1.  Plan the next adventure as soon as you get home.  Start planning a year in advance, tweek the map by adding new sites to see.  Put together your dates and try to stick to them.  In normal times, I start booking reservations 9 months in advance.  These days I'm not so sure.

2.  Pray God will lead you in the right direction for your next life's journey.  This does not apply only to travel but romance, friendships, classes to take etc.  God will lead you if you open your mind and heart to receive direction.

3. Journal every day.  Set your intentions and stick to them.  I know, this journaling "thing"  has probably become annoying to my readers but it's important.  I have used that darn journal for everything from healing my broken heart to what I'm having for dinner.  I try as best as possible to stick to the plan and make it work.  The Waiting Game doesn't seem as long and What's Next becomes a daily discussion with me, myself and I.

4. Exercise daily.  I'm repeating myself for sure but it's important.  A morning walk, work out at the gym or pulling weeds in the garden can be used to create a meditation while in the Waiting Game.

5.  Trust your instincts, let go and let God.  If something doesn't feel right, take a step back and ask God to give a sign.  He will, he always does.  During the wait, if our minds are open, we'll hear God speak to us in various ways.  He always affirms and our wait will be worth it.

6.  Enjoy life for the moment.  Moments are what we are in now.  Moment by moment we can breath in the essence of life, love and happiness and that wait will seem so much less the burden, while we play the Waiting Game and ask What's Next.

Since I quoted out of the Daily Word last week, I'm going to start to quote from it every week.  I receive so much peace from it's simple statements.  

Tuesday, January 21, 2014 the daily affirmation was Wait.  "One with God, I wait, breathing into the unknown."

"In Hebrew, one translation of the word wait, or Qavah, is to bind together.  As I wait for news about certain outcomes or grapple for answers to a troubling issue, I imagine myself intertwined with God like sturdy strand of Cord, bound together as one.  Holding this image relieves any anxiety I may be feeling.

"One with God, I relax, breathe into the unknown, and wait.  Rather than trying to force a particular outcome, I rest in God and trust in divine wisdom.

"I see this interlude as a respite for my soul.  As I exercise patience, I cultivate my spiritual mettle.  When the pause is over, I am renewed and ready to act from God-given insight."

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope. Psalm 130:5

 

The Art of Forgivness

 During these precarious times, forgiveness seems to be a lost art.  If one turns on the TV, social media or the radio, angst and pure hate surround us.  I don't see much in the way of love, kindness or yes, forgiveness.  Forgiveness is actually an art, it needs to be given with a pure heart, pure emotion and pure intention.  This week, let's explore forgiveness as it's ringing very personally with me. I touched on forgiveness in my blog, " 2020 The Year That Was."  This one paragraph needs to be expanded on, researched and discussed and taken to heart.   

Jesus says,  “ Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”  If we can truly forgive with pure hearts, our society will heal.  Following are a few ways and situations where forgivenss is needed.

1/  We as humans are flawed creatures.  We are ALL sinners, we ALL make mistakes and we ALL need forgiveness.  The first and most import way to forgiveness is to humble ourselves to God.  Not one person other than Jesus, has been without sin.  Once one understands that concept and begins to realize their mistakes, drop to your knees in prayer and humble yourself before God.  He will forgive you.  I do this on a daily basis as I am a flawed human.

2/  Forgive yourself, this is a huge concept as we can ask God to forgive us but we must be willing to forgive ourselves.  As for me, I have forgiven myself for my past transgressions, hurts I've caused others and for situations I've found myself in.  Knowing I'm not a perfect being and understanding myself, is the first step to self forgiveness.

3/  Forgive our forefathers for their mistakes.  I believe that much of the turmoil in the world today is due to the sins of our "fathers."  It's time that we as a society begin to heal, understand that those on earth today are not to blame for the mistakes of yesterday.  We need to forgive and move forward as a collective.  Blaming each other for the sins of the past is both unnecessary and unhealthy.  Move on, forgive, forget and make the world a better place.  This is our mission as citizens of planet earth!

4/  Forgive those who have hurt you.  This is very personal to me as I have several people I need to forgive.  One in particular, who I hope is reading this blog, I want you to know I forgive you.  Because this is the only venue I can "speak" these words, I want you to know you are truly forgiven.  I forgive you for hurting me, breaking my heart and for some other transgressions too personal to publically mention.  I forgive you with love and compassion.  My soul is now lighter, my heart ache is lessened and now I can move forward.

It's time now to move forward as a society.  Do so with an open, loving heart.  Do so knowing that you will be hurt again, will hurt others but knowing forgiveness is at the tip of our fingers and only a request away.  Do so with love, just as Jesus commanded.  

On Thursday, March 13, 1980, The Daily Word published these words about forgiveness:

"Today is a day of forgiveness.

Make today a day of forgiveness.  Forgive yourself: forgive others.

For peace of mind today -

For peace of body today -

For happiness of heart today - 

Forgive!

Forgive what happened an hour ago, a day ago, years ago.

Remembered slights - forgive them;

Remembered hurts - forgive them;

Remembered wrongs - forgive them;

Remembered thoughtless acts - forgive them;

Remembered cruel words - forgive them;

Remembered unhappy happenings - forgive them;

Through Christ in you, you have power to accept forgiveness for yourself, to extend forgiveness to others.  The forgiving love of Jesus Christ penetrates to the depths of your being.  You are forgiven.  You are able to forgive."

You will forget your misery - Job 11:16

The Keys to Freedom

 Americans, whether born here or naturalized citizens, all enjoy the freedoms our country has to offer.  The Declaration of Independence states:   "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."   This is freedom folks and in this week's blog, I'd like to explore the basic tenets of freedom.  

The first time I traveled overseas was in 1981.  My dad and I visited the UK for a week, staying in London.  We took a couple of tours, one was a tour of Parliament.  We stood in a long line and were required to walk through metal detectors.  I kept setting the darn thing off, as the snaps on my down jacket were metal.  I'd never seen a metal detector before.  In 1981, airports in the United States were not requiring metal checks.  In those days, the IRA was still a terror threat in the UK and never before had I felt unsafe and unsure of my surroundings.  Dad and I did a lot of traveling on the underground and I remember feeling rather uncomfortable, as who knew who was lurking in the shadows.  The familiar feeling of freedom was not felt until we touched down at LAX and we saw the American flag.  

The feeling of freedom to move about in our country and the world was halted this year, "2020 The Year That Was."  I had a trip planned (as mentioned in previous blogs) to Europe.  Russia was on the agenda.  The Russians made us jump through hoops in order to travel to and within the country.  We had to apply for a visa and a "invitation" to visit Russia.  Exact travel dates were required and every hotel and airline wanted the travel visa number.  The Russian government was tracking us and this gave me another very odd feeling, the loss of freedom.  The trip of course never happened, nor did the Russians bother to reimburse me for the airline fees but I still have a feeling they still may be watching and tracking me.  No Russian hoax here folks but it's just a feeling, that's all.

Today, in the United States of America, we are starting to see and feel the loss of our basic freedoms and liberty.  This feeling is starting to creep in to our daily lives.  Ideas such as mandatory Covid testing, mandatory vaccines, mandatory wearing of masks, are all drifting us toward a loss of freedom and liberty.  We are losing our the freedom of speech, the right to bear arms, right to assemble (unless you are burning down a city) or even the right go to church.  This is reminiscent of Nazi Germany.  Disarm a society, put fear in everyday activities and it's made weak, made ripe for a takeover. 

So, what can we Americans do to stop this takeover and keep the freedoms that we so enjoy?  Of course I have a few ideas and I hope my readers will feel free to make comments with more. 

1.  Stop being complacent and fight back.  I don't mean with violence; fight back with letters, emails and on social media if you're so inclined.  Remember, be respectful but make yourself heard.  When we lose the power to voice our opinions, the right to be heard will no longer exist.

2.  Stop being a "Sheeple."  A Sheeple is a person who acts like sheep, following blindly and doing whatever told to do.  The German people did that in 1932 and remember what  happened?  The Venezuelans did the same and that country is in shambles. 

3. As stated in previous blogs, open up the country and put people back to work!  We want to work, earn money, support our families and live our lives as we see fit. The capitalist system works, enjoy it.

4. Allow travel to commence without restriction.  I get wearing masks on airplanes.  Frankly I've been squeezed into a seat next to a completely unsuitable character, who's breath smelled like a cat box.  I would have given anything to have had that person wear a mask.  I've returned home from trips and a couple days later have come down with a cold or the flu. The stale air in planes breeds disease.  Just wear the mask as the flight attendant will be forced to report you to authorities and you will not be able to fly on that airline again (just ask my daughter).

5.  Now that I've touched on the subject of masks, let's explore a little further.  If a private business requires one to wear a mask and you want to shop there, wear the blasted thing or go elsewhere.  This is their right.  Wearing a mask should also be an individual right.  I hate wearing the @#$% thing but if I want to shop at Fred Meyer or sit in an airplane, I'll wear it.  If I'm driving in my car, sitting on my patio or taking a walk, the mask will not be on my face, I promise.  I don't wear it at the gym either or at the golf course.  It's not required and frankly, no one is catching the damn virus out in the sunshine.

6.  Social distancing is not that bad but it's getting out of hand.  People need people, children need to play with other children.  Walking in one way aisles in the store is stupid and no one following the arrows anyway.   I don't like "Close Talkers" either.  Stay your distance and we can chat just fine, especially if we're not wearing a mask.  

7. It's time to open our houses of worship. Open them, enjoy the freedom to worship God the way you chose and quit worrying.  The freedom to worship is a basic human right, enjoy it, fight for it and be thankful for it.

8. For goodness sake stop watching idiot talking heads on TV who are spewing someone else's propaganda.  I've never heard such insane dival in all my life as I have in the last 8 months.  I've mentioned this before and will mention it again, turn off the news, study correct sources and stop being a Sheeple.

Finally, freedom is a basic right in this country.  People are clamoring to enter the United States and enjoy what this country has to offer.  Enjoy it, don't abuse it; treasure it, don't take it for granted and be thankful.

May God continue to bless America. 

 

The Lazy Hazy Days of Summer

Nat King Cole, one of my favorite singers, had a great song with the same title as this blog.  I remember hearing it as a kid and always like the tune and of course Nat's beautiful voice.  Summer is my favorite season, especially since I've lived in the Pacific Northwest.  The summers in Seattle were cool and sometimes damp but here in Idaho, it's sunny, hot and I just love it.  My plants have taken off and are growing like the weeds I keep pulling out of my lawn.  My finger nails tell that story but I love weeding just the same.  I no longer take summer for granted, nor life as a whole for that matter.

This year summer is different.  A sadness seems to have enveloped our country and the world.  The carefree feeling we once had seems to have escaped us.  Those long hot afternoons watching my beloved Dodgers or Yankees hasn't resonated this year.  The familiar crack of the bat is not as exciting without the roar of the crowd.  All of the sudden my favorite sport of baseball has become a bit boring, no longer exciting and the smell of hot dogs on the grill not as sweet.  

It seems that this summer has become tired and rather sad.  Even though my life has had personal changes, it's still not the same.  I remember how summer used to feel, days on the beach in Balboa, barbecues, church picnics, times with friends socializing and watching sports.  What has happened to our society and the world in general?  

As I ponder this question, that fog of evil that has exploded world wide has taken hold and grabbed us by the necks.  What kind of world will our children and grandchildren grow up in now?  The ability to travel has been stifled, our right to go and worship the God we chose has been halted, our children are not allowed back in school and we are now under the threat of forced vaccines and rules no one thought would ever come to be in the United States of America.

When I watch the nightly news, it's unbelievable to see our beautiful cities over taken by thugs,  and basically Marxist anarchists.  How can we as a collective, change this course and go back to normal?  This new normal is not acceptable to most people I know.  So, here's my solution to these issues and I expect to lose friends over my thoughts but so be it.

1.  Mayors of the large, lost cities need to be recalled immediately.  Governors of states allowing lawlessness and mayhem recalled and both replaced with basic law and order officials.  This is a no brainer really.  Citizens of these cities and states do not deserve to be over run by looters, thugs and criminals.  These same governors and mayors need to be prosecuted for dereliction of duty, sued by the citizens and jailed.  We no longer need to tolerate this garbage.

2.  The police need proper training and allowed to police our streets.  The laws currently on the books need to be enforced and criminals prosecuted.  Again, another no brainer.  Our cities will be clean, jobs and business will return and the economy will thrive.  

3.  Prisoners need to stay in jail and serve their time, another no brainer!  Decent, hardworking Americans do not need to live in fear.  "If you can't do the time, don't do the crime."   

4.  Open up our economy and put Americans back to work!  America is not a social welfare society.  Americans need to work for their own self respect, and pride.  If you feel under the weather, stay the hell home!  Wear a mask if you feel like you must and wash your hands.  

5.  The basic family structure has changed over the years but the basic tenets have survived. Whether it is a 2 parent family with a husband and wife,  two wives, two husbands or single family home; raising children with the love and respect has not changed.  Feed them, cloth them and keeping them safe from predators and on line traffickers is imperative.   With the news of trafficking of humans as young as infants, it's especially important to guard our children with our lives.  If a family needs assistance, there are many good social service agencies, churches and endowments that will help.  Reach out and help will be given.  

6.  Be proud to be an American.  We live in the greatest country on God's green earth!  America was the greatest experiment ever tried and it succeeded.  Yes we've made mistakes but we as a society have learned from those mistakes.  Let's move on, cherish our American traditions and regain our sense of pride.  My suggestion if you don't like living here, leave.  No one will miss you and don't let the door hit you in the butt.  There are plenty of people worldwide, who would love to take your place here in the United States of America.

7  The Constitution is the law of the land, respect it and abide by it's words.  The ability to speak freely, worship where you choose, the right to bear arms, vote and to freely assemble in a peaceful respectful way, are all part of the constitution.  Become a citizen if you're currently not and enjoy the rights given by our founders.  This is America damn it, be proud of it!

8.  Finally, respect your fellow human.  We are living in a society where respect is lacking.  Basic respect, manners and kindness seem to have disappeared.  Let's get back to where we can agree to disagree.  

Finally, in the words of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior, from the book of St. Mark, 12:30-31; "And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.  And the second like it is this: You shall love your neighbor as yourself"  

May God continue to bless America.